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Feeling Real Feb 2015
I. Sit with me on the cement
Test my mind
Fill my head with platitudes

II. Oh, the wonders of the body
Not yours, just mine
Leaving kisses on Weekday afternoons

III. I drink too much wine
Soft-core **** and Halloween binge
You tell me I am too much

IV. There wasn’t ever anything
But I had been held
You were too old, anyway

V. I can’t tell you how I admire you
Too often, I hope
But I am obsessed

VI.   *****-filled and hot chocolate
Defend my honor, cadet
Grow tall and stronger

VII.     How can I decipher
Your logic when I am drunk
How was I supposed to know you wanted to be what he was to me?

VIII.   Innocent laughter, we dance
I know not what to do
On your lap, with my hands

IX.   Friend, what we were
A blacked-out night
We finally kissed
Feeling Real Jan 2015
We sat near a window
I hoped someone would see
Cause I was so proud
That a  handsome man did want me

When I convinced you to walk in the snow
I froze to the bone and took shelter
It's all a frigid joke
Not adjusted to the cold


“Hey there, come here,
Let me see your hands
To warm from ice,
Come here, I will hold you”

I fell on my ***
You laughed and fell on top of me
We raced towards the warmth
Which you tried to compete with

Inside your house and closer
You laughed when my words choked me
And gave me a warmer pair of gloves
In your favorite color

You poured us *** but forgot the coke
We laughed about some wrapper
We found inside of our coats
Your brother opens the front door

He laughs in our faces
I race out of the house
Winter tried to stop me
Uselessly, I was never indecisive
Feeling Real Jan 2015
I soaked in every word from your mouth
and repeated it back to you
and I guess it was assumed
that something had bloomed
While we walked the town to get coffee
Feeling Real Nov 2014
There is no mark

As is; I am

Warming, rising, an oven

Water and blood

Eyes blankly looking

Forward, seldom quickly

But in fervor

A fever, controlling

My actions are my own

A joke, misheard

I am missing

What was or never was

Mind makes a mess of things

Swaying, wind

Never sleep
Feeling Real Nov 2014
The most I'll get is a smile
A suggestive visual ****
Will no one touch me-
I'm contagion-free
Unless you're scared
Of my suffering
Keep it clean, it taut, it on
It lights, I'll fight for me
Feeling Real Nov 2014
Raspberry Coke
Drug-drip joke
Massage my lungs
With nicotine tongue
Feeling Real Nov 2014
There's a stark visual aid
To compare true nature to
No spontaneity to save
Lost it all in this mess
I've made
Little things decaying
Own me, own me
Do you like my necklace
Wanna wrap your hands
Around it
Do you recognize me
You've been in my head
Mr. Violent-Not-Unlikely

I've put my deepest secrets
Out online
So ask away, what's left
I've managed to stabilize
Numbness in me
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