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 Aug 2019 juliana
Dev
I will never be able to unwrite my words,
unspeak the truth,
or unsee you.
I cannot help but overflow when you are nearby
happiness, anger, sadness spilling out of me
breaking down my walls.
I tell you more secrets than my own best friend
though they are ridiculous
and yet
you drive me mad
and stir up anger
so I lock myself away
and lash out

because I'm aware of how this works
because I know what this feels like
because I've done this before.
 Aug 2019 juliana
Dev
Callous fingers, throbbing blindly
I could easily give it up, but I like the pain
Give me something that eases me like this
And I'll take your wisdom on board
Readily, I brace myself
Even though I know I've lost that pain
The pain of smoke pushing through healthy lungs, now turned
The pain of smoke burning my lips, tongue, throat
Eventually settling down in the deepest parts of me
Soothing my soul
"That one time my ego fell in love with the Self."
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