My momma’s last words to me were
“Your happiness should always come first.”
I still remember her soft voice caressing my ears when she said that;
The day she passed away, I cried terribly as I reminisce our joyous days together and how she always looks up when praying;
I didn’t know why she did that;
When I was 7, I asked her why, she chuckled, smiled, and she said, “The big man’s up there my dear” pointing towards the skies.
I’ve been looking up when praying ever since.
On the day of her funeral, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said
And how we sometimes live for somebody else;
When I was 14, my father left us.
Before he left, they had one last argument,
I heard vases breaking and momma screaming
After he left,
Momma kept drinking and crying
I didn’t know what to do,
But I held her hand, told her I loved her.
She smiled, threw the bottle of wine and cooked me dinner.
My father never came back.
2 years have passed after momma died,
I have a daughter now,
I named her after momma;
She has momma’s eyes and hopefully,
Her way with words.
When I was 16,
I had my first break-up with a girl at school,
At home, I kept shouting and punching the walls
As if it would make everything better;
Momma came up to me, brushed my hair with her hand,
And said,
“Don’t you worry my dear, love will come and love will go, but never forget to look up.”
I wiped my eyes, and hugged her.
I never forgot what she said that day.
7 years have passed,
I am standing in front of your tombstone,
Praying, looking up to the skies;
I hope you can hear me from way up there momma,
Ely’s 5 years old now.
She looks just like you;
I miss you so much,
And I love you.

-j.c.j.