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 May 2013 F White
mûre
out of beautiful spirals of dna
I'm so glad they settled on you
my sweet scientist
my clever clover
my favourite pair of genes.

If we chose our samsara
If I could bring you back
and you could bring me back,
I'd do this again.

And again.

I wouldn't change a single thing about you.

I wonder how many lives I've already spent loving you?

Happy Birthday, darling.
 May 2013 F White
mûre
Skinny
 May 2013 F White
mûre
We like to take care of skinny people
as if they were just passing through.

Like if we don't hold them tight, they'll disappear.

We put sweaters on them
bundle them up with words of concern.
We take them in.
We tuck them in.
It becomes an addiction
that runs both ways.

I fell in love with worried eyes
and pursed lips, the feeling
of ribs knocking into the yielding flesh
of a whole universe of mothers.

They do not leave.
They stay and take care of you
fortify you, nourish you,
bring the colour back.

Skinny, I can't let you go
because I don't know how
to just ask
for love.

Not from them,
and not from me.
I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna die
keep me at age five
before the flood came
bring her back
take nothing away
ever, ever again.

Not strong enough to feed myself the inherent right for affection
and not brave enough to be strong.



And so that's why I chose you, Skinny.
My collar bones are my contingency plan.
If they disappear too, God help me-
because I got nothing.
 May 2013 F White
Life's a Beach
Just cut me a break won't you?
Give me just a little bit of joy again?
it doesn't take much to push me back,
push me back down to the ground.
But I'm sick of not feeling happy,
sick of not feeling safe and sound.
I want to scream with my emotion,
yell from the rooftops,
jump high into the sky,
not just sit here blandly crying,
asking how?
asking why?
not really expecting answers...
waiting, helpless, waiting to die.

I'm sick of asking why and how,
sick of asking who and what.
I've found the cure though, deep inside,
I've found the answer, found the rot:

I bring it on myself.

there I said it! And I won't take it back
what right have you to say
I shouldn't take the blame at all?
I see now where the issue lies.
I'm prepared to take the fall.

All this time I've sat here helpless,
to myself,
silently screaming,
terrified,
dust layering onto my shelf.
And I'm done. I'm free.
So I'm now going to dare to live as
me.
Row upon row, I saw them, instantly, ‘I did’,  
shuffled bodies bulged past me, they ‘did not’.
Fingers, lived to touch, light dim in part,
not here, spotlit, it said “Do not touch”,

how can I know?  Disobedient held
up in my palm, angling my hand
this way, that way. It happened then,
our grey blue pupils, like full stops, clung,

I did not know it would be a memory pocket.
A sentence in time snatched my happy face,
fear bought me. Under my skin, groping pins
pricking the base of my neck pushed into my skull.

Spun, bumping bodies smelling of beached waves,
hard gulps, sweat caught in between my fingers.
It was time to tie up loose thoughts, forget
I pushed away with speed, in a strange place,

street, shop,  where was I? Where are you?!  
By your side in safe sofas, I hand swung
down the banister, released the bolt,
safety catch hanging...and gone....
 Mar 2013 F White
JM
Denver
 Mar 2013 F White
JM
Sweet woman,
in your mountain's embrace
I see you cry alone.
I long to be at your bedside
but my ways are treacherous,
and my time is short.

I give you as much as I have
to offer.

Precious girl,
I feel the heat of your devotion
through the miles.
I long to be between your thighs,

but my skin is cold
and my time is short.
 Mar 2013 F White
Daniel Magner
I'm petering out,
the afterburners already kicked in
fueled to the last drop, doubt
taking over my eyes
when I see this small world
from the big skies
Crocidial smiles and alligator grins
trying to lure a fool in
but I'm a picese, I can swim
Gills filled to the brim with green
All I want is that cash, that greed
If love and laughter can't fuel me
fill the tank with money.
© Daniel Magner 2013
 Mar 2013 F White
st64
1.
I heard the sound of your crying
from a bird.

Animals have souls, too.

Like the moat round Mont St. Michel
The size of the soul
Shrouded by
Accidents of life.


2.
Cobwebs and wax round the candles.

The woods are alive
Pariahs have eyes thrown at them.

Why **** the floor so?
Don't sit with your back to the doorway
Monkey's monocled eyes stare back,
glass orbs, while
Empty chair a-rockin' - a-rockin' - a-rockin' - a

Puppets dance
No solace in the shades
Don't follow the shadows
Which lurk and lead...

Marionettes and tin soldiers
On pedestals long forgot
A dead child's toy chest
A lion in a tallish glass cage.

Little drummer boy, rusted
Plays agitated drum
To match heart beat of......fear
Of drying sweat ....on upper lip.

Dusty frames on the wall
Interfere with flow
Handprint on window frame
Dog barks warning.

Spectre's trudge in mud
Closer...closer...from grave waters
Scream in windowpane: a figure holds
A face of anguish, trapped eternal.

Letters on the wall
Writ in heavy blood
Silhouette of an axe
Windy.....Branch tap on window frame.

Brass door handle turning
Staircase winding up to forever
Gargoyles leer
Leaves on the dry floor....wet footsteps.....


3.
Who knows who dwelt in this place?


Who's hanging from the ceiling?
Whose body....felt that pain?



4.
Then, into head flits one 'I love you'
Of gentle memory
On the lap of the mind
Of a lover
Of a friend.

Grey skies, musky odour.



5.
Then...

Wielding weapon to defend
Against....
The....








Self.



6.
Stop SCREAMINGGGGGGGG!





Star Toucher, 28 March 2013
Ok.
Now, wake up.....lol

Suppose we could not love, deer.

Be kind, gentle and compassionate....don't judge in haste.
 Mar 2013 F White
Billo
I hear the words clearly: You're doing it wrong
because the ear buds blaring music
to block out others' nonsense
are nestled in
my nostrils
 Mar 2013 F White
mûre
Friday, 1211h
A man collapses at lunch
and his vitals spin away like
marbles: pulse, breath, pallor
rolling about on the floor
out of reach of the heroes who
shout his name, flash their pagers
like the batman symbol.
Someone get a doctor in here, now.
The old Vets shuffle out of the room
comment blearily on the poor guy
I guess after the War things do not phase you the same
but perhaps they didn't notice the hue of his lips.
And then he stabilizes, and I fall apart
aghast, aback, there is still tuna sandwich in my mouth
ground by my teeth into a diamond to monument the recovery.
The gurney rolls by, I know him.
My stomach falls to Ground Floor
in relief and despair.

That's the thing about long term care
these men are clever, they teach you so well how to live
that you forget they're supposed to die.
TGIF
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