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at 3:37Am,
you ask,
I endeavor,
an answer
for you

an answer,
that is
intended
to last
a millennium

a millennium

a thousand years,
a thousand seconds,
a thousandth thousandth of
one second

the answer is firmament
the answer is permanent

the answer is plain
thy answer is fancy

You are my best poem
You are encased with in me

You are a piece of me

So, so selfishly
no endeavor needed,
but fervor'd
do I reply

Your being well is not
a sufficient condition
but a necessary one
for my own self-being

For whom the bell tolls,
For whom do I write?

I write for thee,
and in the words
are assured

the mutuality,
the betterment of us,
our private society

dare not deny me this!

for if denied,
I am
condemned

for a millennium
For you.
Tomorrow morning never did exist
For us nothing but this night is real
We gather to quench this thirst
A toast, for all our troubles to steal

Denied, this world will not allow
My mind cracks under all the strain
This life is too much to live with now
With the next shot I’ll numb the pain

I know the pain will come back somehow
I'll hate myself more come break of day
But thoughts of dawn must be shoved down
As alcohol down my throat's way

Where sober efforts are in vain
My mind drifts slowly in intoxication's sea
In liquor's fog we become friends again
But that's barely enough for me

You're here but still I’m alone
At least my heart seems to forget
That your heart for me is stone
And that's all the love I'll get

If this illusion clouds your mind
And brings you into my embrace
When this night has been left behind
So would our memories, gone without a trace

If my actions fill me with regret
I won’t face them until day
The night is all I need and yet
Is it worth the price I have to pay?

It hinders all my despair
Pretending that you are mine
But I know this lie is not fair
Not now or any other time

Troubles remain forgotten
Time stands still once more
By day they'll hound me again
Even more virulent than before

I need release from my sorrow
But this solution is far too flawed
I cannot deny nor delay tomorrow
The falsehood cannot be ignored
Beneath the ceilings
Along scheming walls
The shadows and the light
Brisk tether and play
In a palace of vertical hell

Through space and time
Beyond words or rhyme
Tired eyes let boredom lie
Lungs choking, drowning
In things that were missing

The curtains dance
Against the pale
Gloom of the morning
Struggling to find sway
With the echoes of the wind

Caffiene and nicotine
Accompany the day
I wonder how many times
I've tried to push
And shove them away

Sober bottles scattered
On blameless floors
Bringing to light
The deeds of the night
In non-existent memories

I am asleep in daylight
To slumber I awake
Over the music
I knew it
Was too good to be true
I thought that I heard you
Say, "Hello"

Oh,
Imagination

Under the tracers
Of lasers
You stood out peeking through
Auburn hair cast in blue
And yellow

Oh,
Anticipation

Are you hungry?
Are you lonely?
I feel you staring
Burning a hole right through
I know you're staring
Projecting those three words

Don't speak
Hush
Bare teeth
Rush
Grasp me, moaning, gasping
When I cut your lips for you
As we both leave to continue

Once before
Believers
Once before and again
Crossing with frigid wind
On shallows

If imagination taunts
Like holding haunts
I'll be broken down if I turn
If imagination taunts
While we still walk the wasteland
May we meet in the melt of rings
To find Spring
The stars hit my lungs
A slight frost dancing along the curve
Of my parted crimson lips
I breath in crisp winter air
In and out
As the fresh night air soaks into my winter bones
I am one with the air around me

Wind howling as though it was a wild wolf
Catching my long brown hair
Whipping against my pale cheeks
As I stare at the beauty of the
Exhausted mountains
Fast asleep under the clouds
I am one with the beauty of the landscape

I hold my arms out to the sky
Diamonds dot the charcoal sky
Winking down at their children
We are fragments of stars
I am a fragment of a star
The moon is my kin
I am one of Mother Natures jewels
I am one with the universe

*Deep breath
I went for a hike In the mountains at night, it was astounding
Have you ever seen the veins of poetry?
As if born of the nothings in between,
The spaces a story with no setting;
More profound, I think, of thee.
When right becomes wrong,
when light turns to dark,
when my mind can't restart,
this is what I fear.

This disease eats away at me,
and makes it hard to see,
it blinds me from reality,
and leaves me to die.

I feel it seeping through my pores,
and into my blood stream.
It strangles my heart and lungs,
consumes my mind like a bad dream.

It slithers under my skin,
like barbwire snakes.
I fight to make it go away,
but it takes much more than that.

Sometimes I think I'm better off gone,
better off dead,
why stay alive?
This disease will never let me go,
it will always hold me down.

Sometimes I think it would be easier,
to be underground,
than here.
This disease is stronger than me,
and will never let me be.

But for now,
I live,
till the day comes,
that I'm strong enough to pull the trigger.

Facing the demon is easy to do,
but pulling the trigger is easier.
Copyright Barry Pietrantonio
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