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Elioinai Sep 2019
For a moment the air is almost still
and heat gathers in floating pools
My hands work with their usual vigor
But my mind pauses, just
Like a pointer sniffing the air for a change
for the scent of a new presence
I consider my environment
I notice the flavor of motivation turning upon my tongue
dissolving away like pink cotton
No one presses me to change integrally
No one pulls my hand to follow
I find the words of my old leaders
like old habits, they are forgotten
or they bleed together like cheap dyes
And I’m left to lead my scattered, stained self
Elioinai Sep 2019
Oh human
so glorious and grand
I sigh in awe
as I stare into this nebulous navel
So full!
and yet so ready to hold more
That is the loveliness of You
every one of you
every one of you glorious and grand
Elioinai Sep 2019
in my lazy moments
when my mind searches for questions to collide
I’ve imagined you apologizing
asking if I’m mad
“I’m not mad” I say
“Why would you think so?”
But apparently I think so
more often then I’d like to admit
I’m wanting an apology

An apology
for bringing me to the edge
the cutting edge
the edge I’m no more than five steps away from
At all times
It’s not your fault
that I’m always on the ledge
looking for ways to climb down
jump down
run down
dive down
You were a journey I wasn’t expecting
but I was willing to take

Oh how I’ve wished you would talk to me
But I learned the hard way
Love isn’t something I can make
And when you walk away
You walk away
And I will NEVER
beg a man to stay again
Or consider going $600 into debt
just to buy a plane ticket
and a week to prove that I’m worth it
I’ll be confident
that you’re the only one who lost
But we’re both better off in the end
even when I feel like you stole
an opportunity from me
to show my love
ever so extravagantly
Elioinai Aug 2019
Crystals line the walls of my mind
amid drapes in every color
Ah! Darling, tears are falling
for I fear this thing the most:
that one day all my delights will be ravished
my mauve drapes slashed
torn
and taken away
My yellow crystals crushed
all my art is turned to dust
And Beauty walks away
She leaves me
Empty

They say you take pictures of what you fear to lose
This color
this rose
all the fabrics I chose
Are a testament to my dread
of the loss of Beauty
Elioinai Jul 2019
It’s part of everyone’s life, suffering
But most people don’t enjoy it like we do
most of them don’t find in it great trees
But we do
We make those great sad oaks into timbers
We stand them up in the snow
and build our homes with them
The scent of victory is burning pine
Our fire
Our suffering
Elioinai Jul 2019
Gold doesn’t elbow it’s way onto your front door
It doesn’t scream it’s own name in throbbing lights
at night in city squares
It doesn’t drip down television screens pleading for recognition
No, gold waits
Gold sits with his head held high
But his body down in mud
He finds a bed at sea just as comfortable
there, in the dark deep
as he does old, forgotten heaps
of pillaged treasures
or the velvet pillows that support his form
contorted around bright gems and pearls
in palace throne rooms
He knows nothing and no one can take away his identity
even on the off chance they didn’t recognize him
He’s elemental
and you love him for his service
He lives to serve
For in service he is glorified
Elioinai Jul 2019
Growing up gracefully
is learning when to lean into yourself
and when to lean into someone else
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