i've been making changes
hard truths are what i'm facing
line are drawn, correcting previous wrongs
truth is, i might be the one that breaks them
i've been holding my breath
hoping these patterns reset
truth be told, only partially sold
on the decisions that i've been making

how do you re-tether a soul to a body?
mine once weighed so heavy
i grew desperate to breeze by and cut ties
i pushed it aside with words
drowned it out with drinks
suffocated it with smoke
until one day
it didn't come back
i convinced myself
we mutually parted ways
but that wasn't really the case
i lost it
—my tender companion
the one whose weight kept me grounded
whose voice filled my mind
whose presence made me feel

feels impossible to separate the old me from the healed me
and equally so to disentangle the imprints of you from her
and if she is me, and i am she, then you will forever be ******* in we
and i'm not entirely sure that isn't what i want
the aches of caring soothe the sores your unavailability brought
and i can see the growth but can't let us go
cause there's always new lessons to be taught
so we coexist, and it tests my wits
—least our tangles are becoming less fraught

i think i know her, their spark seems familiar
it burned so bright at five, nine, thirteen
then shielded so, their twenties but a small glow
almost forgot how it felt to be lit from within
but here she is, tending the embers that grew thin
coaxing once more, their flames kicking up with brazen lore

you laugh with my friends and I am delighted
my worlds are colliding and no one is blighted
to share my favorite people is a gift I now happily give and receive
so come into my world and stay as long as you please
for life is not meant to be lived divided

as the waves never fully
embrace the land; nothing has changed

talking, talking, talking— radio silence
the space that nothingness fills is almost violent
yelling, yelling, yelling— something's working
uncovering ugly truths that have been lurking
crying, crying, crying— because it's broken
there is just too much that we let go unspoken