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 Jul 2014 Ethan Solouki
Waverly
Now he left you with scars, tears on your pillow and you still stay
As you sit and pray, hoping the beatings'll go away
It wasn't always a hit and run relationship
It used to be love, happiness and companionship
Remember when I treated you good
I moved you up to hills, out the ills of the ghetto hood
Me and you a happy home, when it was on
I had a love to call my own
I shoulda seen you was trouble but I was lost, trapped in your eyes
Preoccupied with gettin tossed, no need to lie
You had a man and I knew it, you told me
Don't worry bout it we can do it now I'm under pressure
Make a decision cause I'm waitin, when I'm alone
I'm on the phone havin secret conversations, huh
I wanna take your misery, replace it with happiness
but I need your faith in me, I'm a sucka for love
sucka for love, know you ain't right G but yet I'ma sucka for love
These are my favorite verses. Had to put it up, because I can listen to this song all day. It's pertinent because it's poetry.
Tupac said: **** the world
And on the first day he wept
Tupac said: **** the world
Because he knew God had slept
Tupac said: **** the world
No promises to be broken or kept
Tupac said: **** the world
This baby was already in debt
Tupac said: **** the world
In anger there is no word of thanks
Tupac said: **** the world
He **** sure wasn't shooting blanks
Tupac said: **** the world
So I ask why am I so sheltered?
Tupac said: **** the world
And act so self-centered?
Tupac said: **** the world
Is it because my Mom held me?
Tupac said: **** the world
And she was always there for me?
Tupac said: **** the world
Why can't I see his point of view?
Tupac said: **** the world
Why are white people so scared of you?
Tupac said: **** the world
He was a product of real life
Tupac said: **** the world
His bottle was a switchblade knife
Tupac said: **** the world
Yeah we thought he was a criminal
Tupac said: **** the world
His anger was not so subliminal
Tupac said: **** the world
So while we give thanks and pray
Tupac said: **** the world
It seems we really just look away
Tupac said: **** the world
Man what's wrong with that boy?
Tupac said: **** the world
A gun in his hand ain't no toy
Tupac said: **** the world
Where was he supposed to go?
Tupac said: **** the world
What if you were raised by a **?
Tupac said: **** the world
Are we in a position to judge?
Tupac said: **** the world
Maybe it's us we should begrudge
Tupac said: **** the world
What should offend you more?
Tupac said: **** the world
The reality you try to ignore?
Tupac said: **** the world
The shock of all the profanity?
Tupac said: **** the world
Or the fact of his poverty?
Tupac said: **** the world
He knew he was disposable
Tupac said: **** the world
A gangsta rappers's not so lovable
Tupac said: **** the world
That was the only way to survive
Tupac said: **** the world
Nobody cared if he lived or died
Tupac said: **** the world
The industry only wants the money
Tupac said: **** the world
But they never called him honey
Tupac said: **** the world
He was dead before he was born
Tupac said: **** the world
But he could rhyme about scorn
Tupac said: **** the world
And now he's dead and gone
Tupac said: **** the world
Did you think he was wrong?
Tupac said: **** the world
He knew how to die better than you
Tupac said: **** the world
What do you pay attention to?
Tupac said: **** the world
Reality tv and some situation?
Tupac said: **** the world
Being trendy and *******?
Tupac said: **** the world
The money really didn't really matter
Tupac said: **** the world
He kept up the harsh street chatter
Tupac said: **** the world
He wasn't climbing no social ladder
Tupac said: **** the world
Because his heart could never gather
Tupac said: **** the world
All the Lord's blessings
Tupac said: **** the world
Like flowers and angel's wings
Tupac said: **** the world
Living on the streets instead
Tupac said: **** the world
Where the ladder is full of lead
Tupac said: **** the world
The lead of pain and bullets
Tupac said: **** the world
And not soft golden nuggets
Tupac said: **** the world
Of love and tenderness
Tupac said: **** the world
Just blood and nothingness
Tupcac said: **** the world
So who is holding him now?
Tupac said: **** the world
Is he where love will allow?
Tupac said: **** the world
A man to become a boy?
Tupac said: **** the world
A boy with happiness to enjoy?
Tupac said: **** the world
You don't like gangstas rapping like crooks
Tupac said: **** the world
There's no page for him in the good book
Tupac said: **** the world
Were his sins from his mother and father?
Tupac said: **** the world
And those who would string up a brother
Tupac said: **** the world
Try to just say no when your ship ain't sailin'
Tupac said: **** the world*
Hey God what is it that you were sayin'?
 Jul 2014 Ethan Solouki
gd
I just find it baffling
that you thought of
me as just some big
ball of burning
d  u  s  t ,
poking and prodding
until I burned out,
when you were every
single little shining  
s  t  a  r  
in the northern
sky to me.

gd
 Jul 2014 Ethan Solouki
gd
two x two
 Jul 2014 Ethan Solouki
gd
T  w  o    l  o  v  e  r  s
in each other's arms,
both dreaming to be
in someone  e l s e ' s.
There are  c r a t e r s
where hearts should
be; there are  c u t s
where there should
have been  k i s s e s.
Lurching forward and
back, back-tracked and
b r o k e n, looking for
a road less travelled so
nothing else can be
s p o k e n.

gd
{sometimes we settle to feel safe; sometimes we settle to feel loved}
waiting for the meat
to catch up to the mind
to stop dragging its feet
falling behind
how long will it take
for the string to unwind
so I can measure the difference
between life and lifetime
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
I wasn’t supposed to fall so hard
I wasn’t supposed to call out for your arms in the night
And my lips weren’t supposed to search for yours
As if they would actually be there.
I wasn’t supposed to nuzzle into my pillow at night
pretending that your hands were nestled in my hair
I wasn’t supposed to make small talk
just so I could hypnotize myself with that something in your eyes
I wasn’t supposed to wake up cold in the gray morning
with the strong urge to be bruised and bitten
In fits of slow, languid passion.

Unreal how our bodies match and move together,
Uncanny how our minds meld and play in synch.
My youthful love for life,
Your chuckling maturity, still unsure what life is.

Now I play soft ballads full of aching, yearning,
I can wrap myself in a blanket on the floor
With a mug of tea, and think silently on you
And the shadows I wish I could conjure into existence…
They live inside, dancing to burst free from our guilty bodies
Too ethereal, too beautiful, to be abandoned
When we (artists) know we live for such wonders.

I wish I had any other option but forgetting,
or descending into madness.
(I’m currently choosing madness..?)

And it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
I wasn’t supposed to fall so hard.
I’m so sorry,
My summer love.
08/31/12




Written for N, and a cold morning in an empty house up Chumstick Highway.
With all that I am,
I shall raise my voice.
For a change.
It begins today
and
It begins with me.
Time is no longer.
 Jul 2014 Ethan Solouki
Tori
I'm so use to feeling empty I don't even remember what it feels to be whole.
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