You who runs ahead too fast
I am left behind
You take a flight and leave me.

Angel
You are one
In your white dress and your white shoes and
even in your white wings shining through
Up and above
Down and below
Hands of miracle dancing for a show.
Freedom
You are freedom
Safe haven, a refuge sent from above.
Silver
You hold onto it
Long length of life
Cut short within.
Angel
You are one
In your white little dress and
your white shoes
With your shining wings
Covered in blood all through.

You see a black pen
And a blank paper in front of you
And your mind is in chaos
Of messy words trying
To form each other
But it doesn't make sense
Because you feel empty
And these images in your head
Takes form in ugly shapes
And contours
All dark and blue and red
And everything senseless
While you sit still just staring
At the black pen and the blank paper
As if waiting for something
To happen but nothing does
You hear the clock ticking away seconds
To minutes
To hours
And outside your window the snow falls
A dancing blizzard wind
And all the while you kept staring
Listening to the wind howl
And the ticking clock
And in front of you is that black pen
And that blank paper now painted with blood.

Im a kite
Soaring through the sky with aeroplanes and birds
My fingers touch the sea of clouds
Skin burning from the sun
And something else
From I see down below
A mermaid in the rocks beside the ocean
Waving at me cheerfully
A giggle escapes
Then turns into a hysterical laughter
Stomach hurting too much
But I dont care cause
I feel like a kite in the sky
And at night I am an angel
Mingling together with the stars
And pillowtalks with the moon
Just as a comet passes by with a rabbit
In an astronaut helmet
And just across is a a herd of whales
Swimming along
And I see the moon smile at me
With its overdrawn lips
Stretching uncomfortably
and so I smile back
And somehow I see the sun beside me
The world split into two
Dark and light
And it reminds me of my reality
So I grab on a paper dollar
And my credit card with nothing in it but lost wealth
Then in front of me I align my beautiful companion
Straight and perfect
Small and still
Just looking at me seductively
And i just had to
So i rolled the green paper again
And filled myself to meet my new friends.

An orb of all gray and storm
Sinister and dark
I see it, I see your eyes.

the flowers bloomed under my chest cavity;
overtaking my ribs,
suffocating my lungs,
growing a garden right from
the bottom of my heart.

the roots dug inside my organs;
piercing my flesh,
crawling up my throat,
squeezing out my air and gripping
the words down under.

theres a garden of heartbreak that
bloomed just for you.
stealing my pulses,
stopping my heartbeats,
waiting for something you cant give;
your love.

Falling leaves of autumn
Colors that fade
Howling breeze of summer
That never goes away.

A beautiful lie you created
A beautiful death i met
As these words that slowly drifted
Words that were unsaid.

The moon that cried a river
It had my tears and pain
I drown myself deeper
Into the darkest depth.

Falling leaves of autumn
An ending tragically beautiful
I close my eyes and drift so far
That none could reach my end.

Its kind of funny
Your eyes burn bright with light
When you look into his eyes
Like you see the whole universe
In all its glory in front of you
And these smiles you give him
Are sweeter than honey in lovely may.

Its kind of funny
Your hands entwine together
And you say they fit perfectly
Like they belong to one another
And you see yourself with him
Sitting on a rocking chair
In front of the porch
All gray and old in time.

Its kind of funny
In an ocean of nameless crowds
You can already tell him apart
Like there's no reason and you just know
Like your soul searches for him alone
And you let yourself be carried away
In that waves of emotions.

Its kind of funny
That you know everything about him
And his every lines
Like you memorized him in your mind
So that you'll never forget
Just an inch of his face
And the way he made you feel.

Its kind of funny
That your heart belongs to him
Just as how his belongs to you
And there he was across the room
With your eyes following his every move
Just like how his eyes can't take his off you.

It's kind of funny
Your suppressed confession swallowed
Even from a pastor or a pope
But my eyes know what i see
What your lips cannot tell
Cause even when you say you love me
It really is kind of funny.

'I love you Jane'
A bitter laugh escape
              as you say to yourself
How can she say it back
               when she's already dead.

in my dreams,
i see you.

i see you looking my way when i pretend i'm looking elsewhere.
i see you secretly smiling when i say something dumb.
i see you right there in front of me;
i see you trying to find my little finger under the table and i -
i see the same look in your eyes that i have in mine.
do you know what it is?

(Let's pretend you do.)

you are everywhere and nowhere but
in my dreams,
i see you.

in my dreams,
i see something i can't have.

She picked up the pen in her hand and she

Wrote herself to insanity as if writing herself to

Madness was the only way she could forget her

Own, and so she wrote and wrote until her fingers

Became calloused with the grip of her hands like it was

The only thing that she could hold onto, like

It was the only thing that made her keep her ground

As her mind became a canvas of words that only

She could understand whilst she painted her paper

With the ink of the pen that held so much untold stories

That she wanted to release.

But no, no it didn't do her justice.

As these words that flowed around her head

Became the monsters that she began to drown in

And the more that she sunk herself in, the

More she became someone that she didn't know anymore

And so she wrote and wrote as the paper

In front her was drenched in salty water

Till her hands began shaking in tension

And her mind completely in chaos.

But as soon as she was done, she would close

That little notebook and hide it away in her closet

And she wiped her eyes and cheeks dry while sitting for a

A full minute gripping that black pen like

She was begging it to make her feel nothing and take

Away her feelings for once and when she

Puts down that pen, she walks out of her room

And into the outside world as she walks around

Like nothing happened at all.

She's so perfect

In my eyes she was and nothing

Could compare to her beauty

That has somehow made me stay here.

Everyone wanted her and everyone wanted to be her but

She doesn't even realize it as she

Walks home and goes to the bathroom

And look at herself in the mirror

She stares and stares and stares for what

Seems like a long time

And right then and there she cried

And cried for what seemed like forever

She goes back to the world and smile again

But i knew, i just knew she weren't there

She looks at other people and say stupid things to

Look normal and to feel normal just to forget

But everytime she's  alone i know

Inside the bathroom that she stayed and painted

Everything around her was painted and i cant

Look at her because i know I'll break

She painted something that wasn't supposed to be

Lines that were not supposed to be made but

In her eyes it was beautiful and it was the only way she won't

Completely break even when
She already was

And when she's done she looks at the mirror again

This time her eyes didn't cry but something else

She smiled instead and nothing was scarier

Than that moment when she felt satisfied of her own art.

'Tell me a story' you say
Your voice a lullaby
Like flowers in the dark
Blossoming in the night
'Alright' I answer as my voice begins
And your eyes hold mine
While you try to listen.

I begin with a man who loved a girl
Who would do anything for her
Anything at all.
He loved her deeply, but did she? No
But that foolish man still, he loved alone
Stabbing pain and sweet torture
Where he can hold, but never to have her
As these meaningless *** became so much more
But the girl of course was just as cold
So the man,heartbroken, left to heal
In hopes of forgetting how she made him feel.

'So what happened next?' Your angel voice asked
And I answer you with a bitter laugh
I look into your eyes and see this innocence
As I shake my head, quite dumbfounded
So I continue my tale with the foolish man
Who never got over that heartless woman.

When she came back to him once more
Without hesitation, he agreed to her
So this chase, this never ending chase
Like a loyal dog chasing after his owner
He fell harder for her, so hard it hurt
But she remained there, not feeling at all
While he was crashing and burning alone in love
She's only there for him, just for the f*.

'That's quite a sad story' you finally say
As you burrow yourself, beside me you lay
'He's a fool' I say and I heard you laugh
'Yes, he is' you answer back.
You fell asleep after just seconds
While I'm wide awake all night
Thinking of that story ans that pathetic man
A wry smile forms, a bitter regard
As I lie awake naked, with a married woman.

You're the sea
An entire ocean of tragedies
Floating about under the gray
Violent waves of turmoil
A tsunami about to strike
An endless depth of darkness
With your soul swimming in the blue
Trying to search for the shore
But the tides are getting higher
until you sink below
like those pirate ships from the old
Never to be found again
As the sky above you clash together
In an angry collision
Of bottled emotions in an overflow
Creating a beautiful hurricane
With you dancing with it in a waltz
While the heavy tears of the sky
Becomes one with your own
And there you were in the middle of the sea
Melting into the ocean
Not a bubble of breath resurface
As your body goes cold
along with the pelting storm
And your eyes stare to the sky
Forever frozen in time
As you sink further down
Like the pirate ship from the old.

You remind me of the sky
Endless and vast
Blue that turns black
Filled with clouds and stars and the moon
A galaxy in a form of you.
Drops of rain in summer  
blocks of ice in winter
The air in your atmosphere
I greedily breathe in
Unconciously falling deep.


You remind me of the sky
And i, a river
Blue to black and black to blue
A catastrophic beauty in a form of you
A galaxy of my own
An impossible nexus between the sky and the river
One i will never reach.

Their hands touched,
                   and she bled.

Summer rain

Oh summer rain

Crying tears and weeping pain

Broken hearts and shattered souls

Lost in never ending roads.

Bitter love

Sweet bitter love

A taste of an obstructive lust

Thwarted all the things of gold

Like thorns of dying faded rose.

Tragic end

A beautiful tragic end

Embraced and welcomed, not resent

Hands that hover over my chest

As lips collide in a kiss of death.

Pieces of sanity scattered
On the floor in your room
White snow outside your window
So white and so pure
Just like those little crystals
Shining in between
You and a paper filled with nothing but broken dreams.
One hit and you ascend
Down one and you fall
You balance yourself
Like someone in circus standing on *****
You see these images of happy little people
And you smile with wryness asking for more.
A puff or two, smokes form in the cold
Like the coldness inside you and those tiny crystal *****
Eyes down and up and roll back to your head
Your mind in chaos, a chaotic mess.
the snow outside your window
So white and so pure
Is just like those crytals on your piece of paper rolled.

you saw the world in grey ashes and burnt kingdoms.

(i saw the world with you in it.)

you saw the world fall apart on its own rebellion refusing to accept what is, not what should. you saw men ****** men, pirates conquering homes and land, women selling their virtues and sinners stealing them. you saw wars within wars of peace, a slaughterhouse of the wicked standing atop of the hill with their blood stained flag waving at you. you saw oceans turning into deserts, deserts turning into oceans, of fire reaching the ice and turning them into lava. you saw it. you saw children with lost innocence wandering into the hands of death, saw hearts growing dark - too dark, too worn out, too good - wanting to survive from the clutches of the enemy. you saw the eyes of the rich filled with mirth and amusement as they stare down at you, desire and lust dripping down to their lips chanting filthy words mixed with poison liquids. you saw everything. you saw the world in its glory of thorny thrones, kings devour kings, men stealing women, children left in the dark under the sewage to rot. you saw hands of drunken men slip past rich men's pockets, their souls dark - too dark, too worn out, too good - trying to survive from the chains of slavery.

you saw the world in its own, saw the world fall apart on its own refusing to accept what is, not what should. you saw the world through dark - too dark, too worn out, too bad - veils where your lips cant move, sewed tight from oppression and the world. you saw it - saw the world for what it is.


(i saw the world with you in it; i saw the world for what it can be with you in it:


beautiful.)