The eve of a small joke
the ghost of a smile
hidden behind our masks
grown too comfortable,  
the secrecy behind eyes
the softest desires of lips
the eve of gentle rainfalls
the tenderness of night
grown too famaliar,  
these nights carry far
into reminiscences of
our future memories,
smitten and forever stolen
these long hours
spent on silver
eves

wrap my bones in soothing silk
and see what unfolds
at the height of
a beating drum and beading sunlight,
of crisp April air and sparkling starlight
and emboss my world with
the richest of senses

what am I
but an impression in the world
a twilight of life
an ephemeral speck
a temporary flame
a fleeting beauty
of bones and soul

a sweet spot glinting*
of rippling heights
*keep it close

bring on the sunrise,
the delicate furies
the dusty pollen drifting
in the riveting fray,
the scope of mountains
the shower of rain drops
felt trickling down
the top of our heads
picking up all the confusion
and dark scribbles which surround
our thoughts with threads
so take me to the beginning
and we can watch our lives
unravel together,
through the entanglements
and shivering lonesome nights
watch the threads slowly untangle
and wonder, my friend
where the end would take us

fear sits in the joints
of these clumsy hands*
like a stagnant pond
half drowned in shadow
which syllables could I string?
what words belong?
oh, how fearful these fingers
uneven nails and all
betray my feelings with
its trembling and nervousness
I fail to commit, to uptake
what they really want to say
and never mind the sound of the words
I'm far from ready to hear their notes
writing out would be the first step
to committing, and oh how I fear
that they would have
*never belonged

a somber radar, unblinking eyes
because I was so focused on
the beating glare of the sun

Thought to be
Over
But what I fear most
Is the never

center
     left
            right
                        straight  
where to follow
pale sun roses gone shallow

up
       down
          fall
                    bleed
soon to swallow
mists of morrow's farrow

maybe two people
can collide
their gazes mangled together
hair sloppy and
their feet
tripping over
themselves

another world created
plates heavy and blankets twisted
the moon shines in their eyes
and when they lose each other
in the still of the night

the morn cracks
and the yellow yolk breaks
they collide once more with a sigh,
never truly lost
and begin a metamorphosis  anew

stand mesmerized
as the shadows prance across
the beaten crackle cement
stare in awe, in wonder
as the golden sun
spills across the chalky red brick
the air is sweet, thick
lick it from the cheeks and lips
the breeze ****** and scatters
across the swaying stalks of grass
the cattle dot the rolling land
with shadows thrown and muddled
keep the land locked in place
nestle it, gently
in the crook of your arm
and as the sun recedes
behind the horizon of mountains
the light pools in the crevasses
of the willow land

I have these thoughts
often for naught
my heart has fallen
to the sickening
drought
ponder for the seas
for the scratch
of the breeze
keep the clouds
overcast
obscure the contour
of my twisted
face

fear not to lose sight
of the stronghold
on that hill crested green,
how are we ever supposed
to know what the
hell to do

curled, pressed
a brisk melody,
loved, kissed
a rich consistency

cold nimble fingers
pressed into mine
a mantra whispering of oceans
the gleam in your eyes, the fear in your tears
a salty kiss streaking down your face
do not stray, my love
I got you.
I got you

is it not that the favorite time*
of our orbiting day
is the moment
held on an eclipse
when the world is sleeping
and it is just you
saying hello to the sun
only, don't pay attention
if whether or not
the sun is setting or rising
because eight minutes from now
*well...who knows, right?

perhaps she doesn't know much else
lifting her feet flagstone by flagstone
and breathing with a fierceness
which trailed behind her gaze
she fumbled under the twilight haze
mumbling with half shadows and half light,
her life captivated by half truths and half loves
stranded on an in-between
like coral reefs and rolling fogs
she dreamt of a life of absolutes,
crooning with morning calls,
so deliberate in their musical merit
yet she walked with half steps
and lukewarm indignation,
her reach falling short by indecision,
So she anchored in what unearthed her heart
with fantastical reads and splash of color
and afternoon gold-drenched walks
she yearned for a full truth, a clarity
yet little did she know the coral reefs
housed by far the most beautiful
of creatures

the cold cement and buffeting wind
a gentleness to the moon

the rustle of night's reign
blanketing the world unseen*

Alone I walk, dreaming inside
with an ear to ear grin

melodies bouncing like light
with the heat of the sun

*inside my stomach

slow, rolling grey hues*
smooth like obsidian
glancing over skin
shimmering under faint porcelain
cast visions over miles
lakes and blank hallways
****** up ways
to celebrate
the humming flesh
another torment
scorched the lovely rays
beating bird's wing
gentle soft touch
lost feathers to new years
not magnificent
just caught under
the weight of our sadness
Christmas lights
another sight,
hold like brothers
sisters under embrace
silent ways to hold
her
him
glass of bitter water
gather those tears
see how the gem
wedged in our throats
glimmers beautifully
when the sun and moon
shines at its most
the ocean quiets and stills
excavate the peace
buried by the storming hatred,
*sadness and guilt

sometimes,
all you need to know is
you are enough

sometimes,
there is no need
to try harder
to validate yourself
for the pleasure of others

to me
to all of you
you are enough

simply,
magnificently,
enough

the click and clash
of wild gleeful thrash
a bruise in brain's bash
the slight silvery ash

the brighter days*
are creeping again
with the glimpse of dawn
stir me awake
with a brilliant yawn
to finally keep
my feet stepping in
from the backlash drought
and now
*I can finally smile

over my dead body
can't wait to wake
this catastrophic illusion
embarked upon recollections
smothering in the sky
like cigarette buds left
to die,
wan a feather
stir the stagnant smoke
inhale an inevitable death
the stench reeking in our breaths
we are all humans too

My love
All I ever
Wished for is
To be held
And to be never
Let go
How wrong
Of me,
Love, let me go
I have to fly
I have to roam
But treat me right
Love with softness
And passion
and I promise
To return to you
With a beak full
Of flowers and melodies
Which sing of
The moon

leave me breath*
I cannot lie
here, in the dirt
as the sun grows cold
into pearly ashes
of starless moons
give me eyes
so those teeth bare
the midnight cannot stare
and barrel knives in your chest
the fire dances in your heart today
so leave me breath
I can't possibly keep up with the rest

there was nothing but
the sound of feet
like pat pat pat
pushing against wet sand,
the call across mountain tops,
the trail toppling with raisins and walnuts,
the swish of lungs beating, running
and the way water splashed grandiosely,
or the comforts of a car ride,
blasting radio whilst carving around green hills,
palms raised against the cool wind
and feeling like the flowers and weeds
are sighing in unison,
or the ceasing daylight accompanied with
a hot meal, hot stew and bowls of sticky rice
creamy mashed potatoes and a glass of good wine,
which twinkles whenever the candle is lit
at the rickety table,
a collection of something
chimes call, the belly laughter rolls
and a day of blues and blacks,
where tears run and skies sag in lack
these are all human memories
bittersweet and living indefinitely

there are 7 billion souls
and every shade of love

a girl only of eighteen
sitting in a lonely room
with windows to personalities
she can only have dreamt for
meeting those she despised
and those she love
once when she feels comfortable
they decide to close to their panes
knocking on the glass,
they only walk away
so she lived her entire life
walking in and out of panes
watching as each window vanish,
and she sits in this room,
she decorated with paint
and words from authors
which kept her sane
the bright morning light filters through
and leaves pink flares
she presses her head to the walls,
and ponder which way to go
she needs the greatest downpour
of shivering rain which smells like
the pours of an ocean coral
she needs the greatest uproar
of golden reflections
which keeps her warm at night
which way is the door?
a hand extended to help her
to show her how to feel
very much alive,
and to get back on her feet
she's tired of meeting those people
which leaves her emotions sore

to marvel at nothing but a flat expanse
the rippling gaze of shining sun
the silent kiss of a silver moon
blinding the expanses
with light and its absence
so that as I step out onto the reflecting pool
I see my silhouette shrouded
by my past self
and the streaking comets
at yet what is still to come
staring out, I know quite not
where the earth greets the sky
the perception of the horizon
lost to the clutches of time
I know not where the compass points
yet as long as my heart wills to go
I will follow, into the great
Unknown

this beloved nineteen year old
on the brink of ages deemed as greater
oh, how the fear sometimes
tangle her hands and feet
so she's sometimes left
only to ponder in her net,
reminiscing of past days,
childhood days as sweet
as the green summer hills
and nights at rickety hold tables
where the meals smell
like that of home

I am going far
sitting at the terminal
wide, gleaming windows
at the airport
a traveling pack, all I need
is the money I saved
and a sketch book with pen and ink
a book when I find myself lonely
and the desire to see
the globe before I fall
into eternal sleep
I know I have so much time
but such opportunities
are never guaranteed
now, if you would like stay
that is on your fault
but tonight, on this thin leather seat
I never obeyed that
by the rules of society
so I don't know why
I ever should
I have gone this far
and boarding to go further

I am a fruit in a basket
a green, swelling fruit
basking in the gold sunlight
on swift, spring mornings
******* in all the water
when the storm showers
claw at the grey skies,
I am an underripe growth of nature
still too bitter for those
who peel at my skin,
I hang in the air, chuckling with the leaves
the great branches sway without sight
I dance long into the night
I am a fruit birthed from a flower
a flower in a past life
bloomed beautifully, magnificently,
yet, my petals fell
and I began to be made
anew, like the pink dawn
before the cusp of day,
I am a green fruit, not quite ripe
I wait, patiently, diligently,
for the day love will embody me
and leave seeds within me
of sweet, sweet melodies

why listen to those*
who do not know
*how you actually could

(A haiku my nine year old brother wrote:)

space is fantastic
like a ball of purple yarn
inside a cat pool

my life thus far
have been finding a home
a living space to house my love
a kindling hearth
to trust and fall

it seems to be that I have become speechless
in my way of things,
and I sit in silence
as the words have left me,
is it nostalgia?
a shift in the flutter?
something have happened,
a change in direction
it feels alien,
and I can't get
the colors to speak
and the paint to breathe
like how it used to be before
why is that?

the gentlest smile
the rain glittering
the night intertwining