12:00 am, The 13th of Friday
Under the full moons light
I will end things my way
This time it'll be done right
No need to search
In front of the church
In plain sight
Under the crane's sway
My body will lay

I timed this to message your number
So try don't and call
As you slumber
I will fall
And with a  swan dive
I'll end it all

I don't want a grave
No one to save my ash
No a funeral or mass
And if my soul refuses to pass
I want to be drugged to end any pains
Plugged into my veins
And then to be unplugged
With my young brother to own my art and property that remains

I wish this wasn't the end
But it was a fate I couldn't defend
Since I had a father
Who did more then viciously beat me since I was a toddler
And a Mother
Who saw saving me as an inconvenient bother

But I hope you don't cry
Even though I will die
I will always be your baby bird
But at least now I can fly

Lost in devastation
Fighting of inebriation
Hopelessly lost
Clawing out at all cost
To divert Death's sweet sedation

I want to die
But I can't say bye
It's hard to justify
I would be a disgrace
For those I chose to mortify

I got to try
But my feelings intensify
Try not to cry
Put on a brave face
Or a filthy lie

I can't untie
But I feel like a spy
Any one can identify
With just the trace
Of a look in my eye

I want to fly
But I can't even get by
I can no longer deny
I can't keep this pace
My end is nigh

I can't explain how I pick them
I don't want to trick'em
But when I do it's your night
I want to be treated you right
Before your my victim

I want you you at ease
I want you on your knees
Because when I feast
I don't say please

I don't expect you to understand
To expect you to know
But to get my fill
I must go in for the ****

Blood against the walls
Screams down the halls
And after it all
I'm alone with just skulls

I don't know how to explain it
I don't know what to say
But when there is blood on your hands
It'll never wash away

I have bin taken
By the seductive sounds of Satan
My mind has bin awaken
At the cost of forever being forsaken

But don't pray for me
For I am finally free
And when I pay my fee
All of hell will see
I will meet my doom unshaken

Time is always moving
Its a untouchable mass
You can't stop it from improving
Because its in an hour glass

I am just a fool
Who likes to break the rules
I will use every tool
To reach the untouchable jewels

I am tired of the hands I have bin dealt
And always asking why
I am tired of the way I have felt
I think its worth a try

I break open the top
To make so the grains wont fall
But still they drop
but I won't let them all

I start to make a try
To make a castle in the sky
But as I shape the sand
It slips through my hands

This was all for not
Soon I will have to say good by to all my friends
I just have one more thought
Before I reach the end

Why did I always try and make a change
And feel this way inside
Life is some thing you can not rearrange
I should have enjoyed the ride

My mind is yearning
Fires churning
Gears pull and turning
But with every pass my soul is burning

Do you also hide from terrors in the night
Praying for a light
Holding your breath to not make a sound
Hoping you won't be found

Do you also hide from your thoughts in the day
Praying to get away
Holding yourself together for a time
Hoping to leave it behind

Death I am you're son
Help me I can no longer run
my hearts become to heavy
I feel like I'm the only one

Farm my soul
Stop my weeping
give me peace
give me what I'm seeking

I feel you near
but I want you here
I want to feel the cold as I slip
and then your warm kiss on my lips

Sweet sensual singing
The melody sways while I am slowly sinking
Put to ease my erratic thinking
If only time had no end
Swiftly I descend
From caressing to stinging
I can't defend
Pulled away from the pillowy breast I was clinging
To the sea I am condemned

**** it
I will no longer be controlled like a puppet
The world is insane
And you, me and all the Gods are to blame
But I am going to stop it
And no longer live my life the same

In me there's a fire burning throughout
A passion waiting to be inflamed
I'm yearning to let it out in one big shout
But I'm afraid I'll get burned and maimed
For now ill just have it churning as I slowly let it out
Until I have it tamed

When I'm at home I don't pray for Jesus
I pray we all die alone
and it ends in pieces

The poisonous deadly floral rose
Just a flower on a stick in a sensual pose
There's a joyfulness power that only a true admirer (knows / will expose)
But soon they all see the pointlessness while its aroma hits their nose
Because with a swift ***** they die painfully contemplating as their final hour goes

I know I'm not a demon
And I sure ain't no saint
But I hope one day my soul can be happy
Even if it's faint