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yne Apr 2020
its been exactly one month since we parted ways.
i was doing perfectly fine,
but today everything started rushing back to me.
an explosion of feelings. wave after wave,
drowning my thoughts and my heart.
it starts to ache all over again.
i realized... i miss you.
that's what you call this.
it is not anger or sadness,
nor it is the underlying wonder of constant what-ifs.
it is just the plain longing of your warmth and you.
just plain you.
i remember us, lying in your bed.
i pouted because you didn't tell me you love me today.
and you laughed and whispered it to me.
i started to get goosebumps all over,
you know im just sensitive that way.
you laughed again,
held me tight so i could not escape from your grasp.
pinned me down and whispered "i love yous" repeatedly.
i was squealing, laughing, trying to get away from you.
my goosebumps wouldn't stop.
i would give anything to be back to that memory again.
i wanted to remember it forever,
it was so precious to me after all.
i know we made mistakes, through and through.
you probably did not forget them, but i already did.
right now it did not matter, i just want you back to me.
and that's stupid and crazy, utterly impossible.
selfish and cruel to you.
selfish and cruel to me.
last time you told me you miss me.
but that is all there is.
it stops there. there's nothing we can do.
i dont regret anything.
you are special to me, and i hope i would not forget.
that this man once was mine, and once was my everything.
goodbye.
yne Apr 2020
i think you are that wound that i'm afraid to look at.
it hurts, and i feel every ounce of pain in my flesh
and yet, i think staring at it makes the pain ten times worst.
gazing at it confirms the pain.
then maybe the escape to you,
is that i'll tuck you in the dark.
hoping i'll forget,
hoping my skin would heal
from any traces of you.
yne Dec 2019
I dreamt it was the end of the world.
the purple orange sky was falling
crushing everything I came to know
and we kept dying
over and over
until we did things right
yne Nov 2019
guess I'll keep saying
I love you, hoping the next
whisper will be true.
tell me love, if it is still love if we dont feel things anymore but we try to be mature and still stay together
yne Sep 2019
it is not crying yourself beneath the sheets
or slowly fading away into the crowd
suppressing laughter
staying silent with the presence of souls
or even the drowning wallow of sadness
no.
depression is going through every single day of your life
smiling completely
functioning still
going through what is supposed to be
the happiest time of your life
and yet feeling nothing
just a hollow space between your chest
where the heart should have been
yne Feb 2019
i want you to remember me as this:
beneath starry sky
still in the clouded moon
chasing city lights
against the november breeze
where your fingers twisting my hair
your lips crushing mine into wine
gasping how mine was the first you tasted
that night—
oh, that night
i never felt so young
despite feeling empty
and we held our gaze
as i whispered
we will never be here again
we will never be here again
we will never be here again
and you agreed—
til this day
i wish you lied
but you didn't
and now we stare
at each other's eyes
with withheld tongues
full of hushed secrets
as if that night never happened
as if you never once
made me feel special
dec 2018
yne Feb 2019
in silence,
within this walls of ashes,
in between the yearning of my bones,
amidst the burning city
and on memories of your love.
you could never be mine again
but I'll be yours—
and that is enough
to keep me living.
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