Things often collide within my mind
my vision slurred
your name circles my every thought
Flashes of color
words blurred and laughs echo, echo
My shadow is not my own, it doubles into two
you
you
it's always been you
I fought
but your moves are sly
always
always
in the back of my mind
I won't
forget
forget
that your eyes say more than your mouth ever will
Burned into my memory is the way you smile, with a smirk and underlying affections
your fierceness
your intricate complexion
Things often collide within my mind
I trust
I trust  
My body won't forget the sensation of your sway and touch, the way you make it a must
your warmth and fingertips
most of all your lips
I trust my memory
hope for no slips
Stop, play, rewind time
Things often collide within my mind
Static
static is all I hear
your absence is my biggest fear
you not being near
Panic
panic runs through my veins
Stop, play, it's not the same
Leo, lion pure nature of defiant
I was stupid and foolish to try and obtain, knowing lions can never be tame
Distance
distance
my mind screams
but your beauty is intoxicating, you're asphyxiating
I promise
I swear
I'll never not want to be there
Adjectives and verbs, talking about you I never run out of words
I'm saying too much
now's the time to shut up
Stop, play, rewind
Thoughts of you always occupy my mind.

You're disappointing, you've never lived up to all I've imagined you to be. You're a failure. A loser. Wake the hell up. Wake up. You're letting this monster control you, you're letting it beat you. It's like you're it's *****. Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME? You're it's *****. It has you on puppet strings, and I watch as it flails you around. You think you can't win, you are giving up. I'm watching the light die out from your eyes, and it's frightening. Oh god, it is frightening. You sit at this bottomless vortex of darkness and you let it consume you. You let it. YOU LET IT. Listen to me, listen, listen, listen. This is frustrating, I want to shake you, I want to shake you. You're breathing, I know you can hear me. You think you can't climb out and you think you're done for. You think you're dead. You're not dead. YOU'RE NOT DEAD. Think, think. Tick, tick. That's the clock, time is moving, it's still ticking. It's ticking. Do you see the mirror? You see it, I know you do. Look, look at you! You incompetent human being. You *******. You're being selfish, ******* selfish. Stop wallowing in self pity. You're a failure, a failure. Wake up. Wake the hell up. I know you can hear me, I'm right here! Right here in the maze of your mind, and I'm banging on your skull. I know you can hear me, I know. Wake up. Wake the hell up. WAKE UP.

Me: "It's amazing when you think about it. I know and I'm grateful that I got the chance to be me. I may hate myself feverishly sometimes but only because I feel so deeply and others don't and some may say that's being sensitive, it's not ya know? It's feeling without a mental block."
Her: "I LOVE YOU FOR SAYING THAT"
Her: "We actually let ourselves feel all our feelings"
Her: "We're emotional with depth"
Her: "We're universes"
Her: "There's worlds within us"
Me: "That is the most true and beautiful way to describe it."
Me: "It's the depth, I love depth. Depth is a deal breaker, if you have depth you are me and I am you. Depth is like having a blood sister but way better. To me depth is being a part of something larger, we are children of the universe. We were born with galaxies as minds and suns as hearts."

Somedays I wake up completely haunted
Your presence incessantly daunting
Somedays I wake up with a dead weight on my chest
Unable to breathe
Somedays I wake up with sunshine in my hair
Your memory not there
Somedays I wake up with a wet face
In my dreams, it was you I chased
Somedays I wake up not black or white but all shades of gray
I often am silent through that whole day
Somedays I wake up okay
With nothing to say
Somedays I wake up burned and tattooed black
With your name scrawled across my back
But most days?
Most days, I wake up completely haunted.

Every memory replays in my head like a symphony
Every kiss, oh no, I couldn't tell you how much I miss
Every word expressed circles my fingers and arms in a dark red distressed
Every slow movement shadows my world
I close my eyes, oh my, oh my, touch me slightly
Softly the sun dances across my skin exactly where your fingers should've been
I scream and shout but I'm trapped in you, there's no getting out
I've sunk in, drunk on dark waters incessantly drifting out and in
Knocking at your door, heaven, let me in.