1 hour and 52 minutes
is the longest we've gone
without texting one another back
when we're not busy

but now it's been
2 hours and 11 minutes
and each minute that goes by
feels like hours

and I feel like collapsing
and screaming
and crying

and I feel you
slowly forgetting about
me

-e.w.

I don't know what to do
when I get like this
when I feel like collapsing
and relapsing
and I can't catch my *******
breath

-e.w.

I can feel myself change
when the depression leeches onto my heart
and my head

it ***** the life out of me
and leaves me with nothing left
except this hollow heart
and useless corpse
that I constantly want to destroy

-e.w.

I let my mind race
and I let the thoughts seep into everything I am
and I let them control me

because I'm not strong enough
to block out the things that are probably true

and I'm not strong enough
to love you without doubting it

-e.w.

I've tried not to feel like this
I've tried not to let it get to me
but every time her name is brought up
or you say you're with her

it's like my heart drops
and I want to curl up in a ball
and not talk to anyone or do anything

I completely shut down

because my mind races with thoughts
of you and her

and I feel like the more you're with her,
the more I'm losing you

-e.w.

I'm sorry I question you
and ask are you sure?
after every "I love you"
and "I promise I'm not going to leave"

but people say things
every day,
all the time

words slip out of mouths
as if it all means nothing
as if we're just trying to pass the time

-e.w.

I'm not a jealous person
but when it comes to you
I see everyone as a threat

because I know in the blink of an eye
you could leave me
for someone who's so much better
and prettier
and nicer
and stronger

for someone's who's
everything I'm not

-e.w.