I felt comfort when
you said I was
always on your mind,
always on the tip of your tongue
always the one you wanted
in your arms

and I hope
it stays that way

-e.w.

I never meant
To fall in love

But when you smiled
And called me babe
And told me
I was always on your mind

How could I not?

-e.w.

My family and friends
Call me a grandma
Because I normally am asleep by 9
At the latest

But when my mind
Cant stop thinking
About you
And I have this stupid smile
Stuck on my face
From your jokes and
Telling me about all the things
I should stay alive for

My head just won't let me sleep
Because it's too busy
Trying to figure out how I got
So lucky.

-e.w.

I was 6
when my best friend  
left me sitting on the trampoline
as he ran to play with someone else
and I cried and
I was shattered

I was 10
when my parents told me
their marriage had run it's course
but things would
"stay the same"
but I quietly cried and
I was shattered

I was 13
when I first left a scar
on my own body,
hating who I had become
and as the blood dripped
I didn't cry but
I was shattered

I was 14
when my own mother
acted like our relationship had run it's course
and she kicked me out
and she never said sorry
and I tried not to cry but
I was shattered

I was 15
when I realized I was a different
because I liked the girl in my math class
who looked like she could make flowers grow
with her smile
and people told me it wasn't right
and "why me?" ran through my head
and I was scared
and I cried quietly and
I was shattered

Now I'm 16
and I've never had my first kiss
and all my friends run around kissing boys
like we're all gonna die tomorrow
and date guys for fun
just for something to do
and I wonder what's wrong with me
and I cry and
I'm shattered

I'm 16
and school doesn't come easy
like it used to
I was honor roll
and I skipped a grade
and I was a "star student"
because I knew how to make essays flow
and solve that simple math equation
or know the president's order
but my brain's fried
and all the motivation I had has disappeared without a trace
and my dad yells at me for my falling grades
and I don't cry but
I'm shattered

I'm 16
and I smile to avoid the constant
"are you okay?" and "what's wrong?"
because my head is such a mess
I don't even know what's wrong
as I dig a little deeper
and watch my skin drip red
and wonder where I went wrong
and I hold back tears and
I'm shattered

I'm 16
and I'm trying to be happy
I'm trying to be happy
I'm trying to be happy
and I can't cry and
I'm putting myself back together.

-e.w.

You liked me because I have blonde hair
and blue eyes that remind you of the ocean
"Stop it"
you repeated over and over because
when you looked at me
you got lost in my eyes

but I was never into you
in that way

but when we sat in my car
and just talked about everything
and anything
I thought for a second you could be real
and different

but a week later
I was shown the real you
the one who didn't want to talk to me anymore
because you only wanted
to **** me

but you were my friend
and you were the person
I could talk to
about anything
and everything

but I was just another girl
that you wanted to be
another notch in your bed post.

-e.w.

You had me
wrapped around your finger
but as you cracked your knuckles
ready to hit me one more time
with the anger filling your eyes
as mine filled with tears
I still held tighter
than I ever have before.

-e.w.

Falling for people I can't have
has kinda become a hobby of mine

either in the sense where
they'll never like me in that way
or where they're thousands of miles away

it's almost like my heart yearns
for the chance to be broken
or be ripped to shreds
by the inevitable that's yet to come

because I can't touch them,
or hold them,
or kiss them,
or mark them with a simple thing like
holding hands, saying
"this is mine
and I love it so"

Maybe I'm doomed forever
to want everything I can't have
or be stuck with all this love to give

but no one to give it to.

-e.w.