monistical transcendents from complex
  algorithms in dancing neosouls
    growing formations of unaware
      intelligent abstract patterns as truth
   conceals the ever evolving dimension of
            another time space feeling
      lumbering freely among the stars

                   Judging by apparence it falls
unnaturally easy for the unconcerned to
         numb the emotions into whatever
    green is at hand as an underexposed
line overreacts as it hurls itself into a verbal
                            echo ...

Darling, I've learned it all too well
because I've been in your place
so many times before:
you cannot give your help
to someone who does not want it.

You can only hope that they will
let you share in their joy if it all works out
or cry on your shoulder if it does not.

*he'll come to you when he needs you.

It was the time of summer where every kid had silently realized that it was ending,
No longer halfway through, no longer half full
Leaking and spilling out,
like the gas in my twenty two year old car
We couldn’t stop it,
And the moments of high school summertime
The moments that supposedly turn into stories we tell forever
Hadn’t seemed to have happened.

Both of us on the swing lazily swung
Dizzily from side to side.
Climbing forward, falling in reverse
Our combined bodyweight shifting back and forth
Tanned legs kicking up in an attempt at unison on every backwards glide.
Gravity hung us there,
Pulling the swing toward the ground no matter the rotation.

I sat on top.
I wore bleached shorts and bleached hair.
I worried that gravity or more so my value to it
would crush him.


At the same time, I felt unbelievably small.


The air pressed in on me from all angles,
it touched my bare legs
it easily waffled my shirt.

“Mel, if you were squishing me, I would let you know”,
he assured with a cocky tone of his very own that somehow made me feel special.
I couldn’t help but think he was only trying to be tough
Attempting to let sheer willpower overweigh my well earned quads,
My six foot frame.
The awkward body I never quite grew into
Never knew how to masterfully control
Never knew how to fill.
Though I secretly (wanted to) truly believe him

On this humid night I felt like the ball was in my court,
Like I could do anything and everything.
That nothing could go wrong
That the boy that I was sitting on was genuine
And that I could simply drive off to wherever.

(I had a full tank of gas and enough money to get me to Alabama).

I felt small in this,
in this infinity of possibility all around me.
Like a weight was pushing into me
Putting on pressure that couldn’t be ignored
That shrunk me just enough.
I felt powerless to fate
Powerless to this planet
To this grand, glorified hunk of earth which was so much greater than me
(and surely my insignificant weight anxieties).

I felt like the gas was leaking out faster than I could use it.
I felt like my infinity was disappearing as I swung within it.


Just like that, I let the ball drop and the gas leak out.
We just kept swinging.
Laughing,
Wasting,
Talking,

Dying.

adoration we adore
criticism is deplored
reptilean eyes show no remorse
as silken smooth we subtley slither
closer now, invite a strike
or keep your distance
and your life

my teeth are hollow
so is my pen
venom flows
through both of them

Seven trillion dots.
And they say no two are the same.

Each similar.
Composed of the same substance.
All the same thing.

Like snowflakes, they say each and everyone is unique.

I don't feel unique.

I can draw.
So can anyone else.

So whats so special about me?
One little dot.
A speck.
Nothing but dust.

Like everyone else one day I will die.
My body will decay, and memories of my flesh will be forgotten.
Just like you.

Each dot is a dot.
And there is nothing special
about a dot.

And you traded my love
For a bag of ****.

Leaving me
A numb
Helpless
Human being.
Stuck
In the middle of my own storm.

And
These fragile memories,
Create a new crack in my wall
Each time they come back to visit.

And as you smoke that joint,
All I can say
Is that I hope it's sweeter than our first kiss.
I hope it make you spin even faster
Than when we danced to our song.

And I hope that
It makes you happy.
Because apperantly,
I never could.