Dont you dare tell me
to be optimistic
when you yell in my face
and bring up past mistakes
and develop a sour taste
and question my fate
and say get over this phase.
Dont you dare order me to love you, when you can't even love yourself.

A flock of birds
Is just like people
They hover around for the important things
They want the first worm
But once that worm is gone
They fly on.
Nothing is left for them.
Birds come down to get food.
And then they leave.
And so do people.
So why can't you just stay?
Just this once.

You tell me to breathe,
but is it really that easy?
Breathing comes naturally you say.
Take one, two, three gulps sweetie.

Yet it cripples me
The crowd.
The people.
The unknown.

It is fear.
Fear that grabs me by my sleeves
and never lets me go.

But you wouldn't know that.
Because you don't ask how I feel.
You just assume that it's nothing.
You just tell me to deal.

And it's not that easy.
The butterflies come to life.
My heart races.
It's like that feeling you get when you look in your rear view mirror and a truck is speeding towards you and you can't get out of the way.
But there is no truck.

And this is anxiety.
So you tell me to breathe.
But it's not that easy.

Because I have a problem.
But you need to listen and discover.
Anxiety is not some made up excuse.
You need to help me or I may not recover.