I imagine you're with me that you lye beside me
and going to bed isn't boring or lonely or inevitable
but warm and fulfilling.
I imagine I go to sleep with the knowledge that someone loves me.

It could be a pillow I hold close and burrow my face into as if I am gently kissing your neck, the heat of my own body could be yours beside me.

When you're lonely the mind can step up and over compensate.
When you're terribly lonely and unsure of the prospect of love ever happening,
you'll believe anything.

It's only when
you are in the other room
realize how much you love her.

Stings you the pain
sinks you the gloom
the void seems impassably far.

You wish could walk back to her
cover the space  with a run
look her eyes' dying star
plant there a risen sun.

The other room chills your bone
cripples you with fear
here you are terribly alone
with the hatch shut forever.

Pause before that long distance
where love meets its doom
for hardly is a second chance
once you enter the other room.

Tell my heart
to let go.

i live in a world
where honesty is not a mandatory escort  
and an unnerving love
comes like the ocean
waves that
break in inconsistent ripples
of blurred lines and hazy breaths
and the best moments are captured by
mental shutters, unwritten words and
erased by empty bottles  
its violent
but its all so pretty