My entire life
Has been
dedicated
To creating
A web of lies
Stronger than
Any wall
The hurt
Dare to build

Nobody
knows
Me
Not even
My blood
Those whom
I call friends
I've hurt without
Them even
knowing
There is no
Secret lover
Who I've confessed
My sins
There is no
Stranger I once
Found redemption
In
And there is no story
Out there in the world
That it's truly mine

Not even these
Poems
I wrote to lazily
To make rhyme

I left my heart on your bedside table
Right next to our pack of Reds
When you walked out this morning, I noticed you didn't take it with you

I've started to wonder if I'll ever look at life the same
Isn't it crazy how one person does that to another?
Never wanting, til you, to call someone mine

The number of seconds found in a day seem too few now
Tell me the ways to watch you come undone
I'll be here when morning arrives to put your pieces back in

Always patiently awaiting your touch, love
To see you come through the door and break down my walls
How long will my breath be held tonight, love?

And sometimes I take baths at six in the morning in tubs that aren't my own.
And sometimes I drink too much whiskey and tell people that they’ll never actually understand anything. And when authority figures talk to me I can’t help but to rebel. And yesterday was my 22nd birthday, but I asked you not to call. And as I blow out candles on a cake you’ll never make me again I wish for a time when I thought you truly cared. And as I look around the room at those smiling faces who chose me, I am reminded that blood is no thicker than water when you have parents too ashamed to look at their daughter.