Em - Hello Poetry

Em Apr 2015

I can not risk getting close to you, or to anyone again. Because I can honestly say that I wouldn't know what to do with myself if one more person I cared about simply walked out of my life. I can't risk losing someone that important. I won't. So why don't we stop this before it's too late for either of us.

Written 4.9.15

Em Apr 2015

all I want right now

is to forget you and every moment we shared together. I just want to forget it all.

Written 4.3.15

Em Mar 2015

His Eyes

His eyes pierce my soul,
And yet, he sees right through me.
He could look right into my eyes, and see directly past me.
His eyes could **** me.
His gaze leaves me speechless,
His laugh leaves me joyous,
His kiss leaves me breathless.
How does he do it.
I often wonder how he
has made me fall for him,
without even trying.
Before him, I never would have believed in love at first sight.
But the minute I laid eyes on him,
I knew I was in trouble.
I was in trouble because, he isn't the type to let you down easy.
He isn't the kind who would
catch you when you fall.
He's still a mystery to me.
But, does he even realize
what he does to me?
Can he see it on my face?
In my posture?
Do my eyes light up when I see him walking around the corner?
Does my voice change pitch when I speak to him,
about him,
with him?
Can he see that every time
we share space in a room,
my eyes wander to find his?
Can he even tell?

They say that the eyes are the
window to the soul,
what does that say about his eyes.

Written 3.9.15

Em Mar 2015

Maybe it'll always be that way

His eyes pierce my soul,
yet he still doesn't see me.
He looks directly into my eyes
and still sees right past me.

Written 3.9.15

Em Mar 2015

this nightmare

This is beginning to feel like I'm in a recurring nightmare.
They all start and end the same way, varying only slightly in between.
It's almost a problem for me: how easily I am to rely on people; how quickly I forget that they were meant to leave.
I place my trust, my identity, my joy, my heart in these people.
And every time I do and things are going better than to be expected, they leave.
It's not that we simply drift apart or become distant for a short time.
It's that every single person that I have entrusted to see the real me, every person that I trust with my life had packed their life up and left me.
Left me all alone.
Now, I am not a victim. I refuse to play the victim role.
I just can not wrap my head around a reason why this continues to happen.
Was it something I said?
Something I did?
Perhaps it was something I didn't say?
Either way, what's done is done.
I simply wish that I could find a way to escape this nightmare.
But it's so hard to wake up from a nightmare
when you're not even asleep.

Written 3.8.15

Em Feb 2015

But that will change too

I don't put up fights. I don't argue about what I feel or why I feel it. I don't know, maybe it's because I'd rather see you happy without me than arguing with me. Maybe it's because I know that you're right, and I can't admit it to myself. Who knows? All I know is that I'm not with fighting over. This.. Whatever it is, is not worth fighting over. What I want will change, and one day I'll have exactly what I need. I don't need you to be happy. There is absolutely no purpose in arguing about what I want when it so obviously meaningless to you.

I just want you to be happy.

I put others happiness above my own.
Maybe that's my problem..

Written 1.24.15