It's always the same thing day in and day out. The same discussion, the same problems, the same longings. There's nothing I can do to get out of this rut I seem to be stuck in. I can't seem to break this mold. I have nothing to say that I haven't already said; no new emotions, feelings, or thoughts. I'm just so...empty. I should be happy. I have so many reasons to be. But the negativity of those around me has begin to engulf me. I'm downing in a sea of ungratefulness, forgetfulness, hatred, anger, and loneliness. I push everyone away because for some reason I'm still stuck on you. I can't be happy because my family is falling apart, my life is falling apart, my whole world is crumbling before me. I can't even cry about it. I am beyond ready to get out of this goodbye town and start fresh and new. I want to go somewhere and rebuild my outlook on life, love, and happiness. I know that they exist, just...not here. There's nothing this place could offer me. It destroys, distrusts, and degrades. That's not where I want to be.
Written 11.9.14