Some days I can be strong, some days I can be weak.
Most days I forget how to feel altogether.
I'm just trying to find a way to get better.
I want to feel, something.
Anything.
Anything would be better than this.. this
Numbness.
This feeling of being feelingless.
Emotionless.
Empty.
I want to be strong for you.
But it never ends up being true.
I'm not strong. I can't carry on,
Not without you.

So you're afraid to let me love you, because you don't want me to hurt you?
Me?
Hurt you?
I couldn't.
I couldn't even if I wanted to.
You mean to much to me for me to risk losing you.
And whether you like it or not, I already love you.
I think you're just afraid to love.
Whether or not I hold your heart is your choice.
However,
You've been holding mine for quite some time.

I don't know how to react.
I'm still at a loss for words.
None of this feels real.
I wish I could take it all back.
Meeting you,
Befriending you,
Fighting with you,
Making memories with you,
Loving you,
Remembering you.
I just want to get rid of it all.
Even the thought of you kills me inside.
I can't take it anymore.
To you, I'll forever be a childhood memory.
While to me, you've always been more like a dream.
If only,
This once, it could have become reality.
I want to take it all back.
I fell,
Quickly,
Foolishly,
Madly,
in love with you.
I must have known you could never love me too.
I suppose all I could hope for was the slight chance you might see things differently.
I mean,
Who was there for you when you had no one?
Who always had your back?
Who knows exactly what you're going to say, before you even speak?
Who knows you better than you know yourself?
Me.
I do.
I did.
But I guess none of that matters, because I'm no one to you.
Not now, not ever.

I wish things would get better already.
I'm tired of waiting for what will never come.
I know there is a greater plan, a bigger picture.
Why can't I get a sneak peek of at the masterpiece?
I'm tired of hurting.
I'm tired of faking.
I'm sick of caring.
I'm done pretending.
I wanna be able to be real.
Honest.
I don't want to hold anything back.
It's time you understand how I feel.
Hold on tight.
There's no going back now.

Don't give up yet.
The battle isn't nearly done.
You're worth the fight to stay alive.
Don't give into the lies people tell you.
You're worth more than they could ever say.
I'm proud of you for still being here.
Don't be a statistic.
Life is gonna be hard.
It's gonna ****.
But I promise you it's worth it.
You're more than your mistakes.
You're more than your failures.
You're more than temptations.
You are worth more than what this world can offer.
You've been made new.
Don't give up.
Don't give in.
If staying strong isn't enough,
Get stronger.

You're not going to see me broken.
I'm not going to make that mistake again.
You take, and take, and take.
But you never give.
I won't be seen as weak.
You're not going to see me cry.
I let my guard down before,
You broke down my walls.
But you never planned on sticking around.
You never thought it would come this far.
I'm not what you expected.
I'm not what you wanted.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I wish I was better, for your sake.
Because despite all the damage you've done,
I still love you.