Jinxed and joy
Jaws hanging low
Jerks and justice never served
Jaded emotions are strong

For innocence and compassion

Ignorance and illness
Illogical thinking and infamous deeds
Irrational behavior and icey hearts
Irreversible actions

The world is loosing its taste

Hazards and humility
Habits ***** and hateful
Habitats being ruined
Happiness being drained

For one another

Hazards and humility
Habits ***** and hateful
Habitats being ruined
Happiness being drained

For one another

Greed and growth
Grasslands dying and glass shattering
Grotesque and grim
Gladly dying, for death is sweet

We are loosing our empathy

Fake smiles and fly aways
Fiction and fantasies
Fractures and fatalities
Frowns and fits of rage

In which we are drowning

You should do it, you know
Loose yourself in the blades
No one would notice or care
Don't you have any shame?
                      
                        Some one would care about her
                        Don't tell her different
                        Please don't **** us
                       Don't leave us

You're worthless, I swear
Death would be easier and simple
Don't you think so, Kaitlyn?
Just a few slices here and there
                
                        But you have life to live
                        And experiences to be had
                        I promise it will get better soon
                        I know life is bad

Ha, it will get better
If you pop a few dozen and wait
I promise it will get better soon
If you just stop breathing

No one wants you

                        Not true! I promise people do

Oh, like who?
    
                       Mom, what about mom?

She would live

                       *******, it would break her

What friends does she have?

                       Plenty and you know it too

Hah, can hardly call people
Who say they'll be there
But disappear friends

                       People have lives that don't
                       Revolve around her

But when she needs them
They never show
How is that friendship?

                       Words aren't always needed
                       To show love
      
                                    I'm done listening to this
                                    Leave me alone I
                                    Need to think
                                    And I can't do that with
                                    You two in my head

Whatever, I'll be back

                        Okay, but remember
                        We're always here
    
                                   Yeah I know
                                    That's the sad part...

These voices in my head
Are telling me to go to bed
And maybe for once
I should listen

Because life can be so cruel
As we work our way through school
Just trying to get by
Through these hormonal states in life

While we try to raise our head up high
Sometimes well falter and sigh
And our heads will hang low
Tears will drop to the floor

But these voices are demanding
They control the things I'm standing
For so strongly
But my knees are going out

So please, people in my brain
Don't drive me too insane
I'm halfway there
And one more voice will do it

Think of all the mistakes you've made
And all the friends that have fade
And realize that it's
All your fault

So voices voices go away
And don't come back another day
And if I die before I wake
Let my soul fly free

I need to cut it
Sever the thin piece
Of twine that’s binding
Us together

But this twine was
Formed by my heart and
Soul and if I cut you
Off I know I’ll relapse

It’s already began
The scars are deeper than
Ever before and I can’t control
How deep the razor bites

I can’t let people get close
To me anymore
They whisper words of love
When really the words hold deception

So I’m building my new reality
Where cutting is okay
And no one can touch me there
And I can be with the voices alone

I grab my knife and start to saw
Away at the thin but strong twine
That has formed and I’m trying
Not to look back

I don't hate you
I still love you with
All my heart
I just think its time to start

Building a gap between you
And I because I know
In the end we will
Only be friends

I can't handle another
Heart break from another
Beautiful boy
Who thinks of me as a toy

I can't stand by and watch
You date and **** other
Girls while I'm still standing here
Waiting for your return

No I do not hate you
I love you
But I for once need
To watch myself

Because the cutting is
Getting deeper and
The night's are getting longer
And my heart is growing colder

Don't worry about me
I'm not much to worry about
I'm not somebody special
And I have no doubt

That you'll find another girl
Who notices the special spark
In your heart
So don't worry about me anymore

I'm done being the
Back up plan for
Boys like you

I'm done with falling
In love only to crash
Trying to catch myself

I am done cutting
And hiding away a whole
Side away from my family

I'm done *******  in
Air with no positive
Side effects to cling onto

No no no
Let's back up here
And clarify what being
Pansexual means

I am not
Greedy
Selfish
*** crazed
Possessed
Or *** obsessed

I have always been told
That it matters what's on
The inside
Not the out

So excuse me
When I love someone
For their mind
Not their body

Body is a bonus
Not the main course
Yes I have physical attractions
To all body types

But at the end of the day
You can't love just the body
It's the interior decorating
Of the soul that counts

When you date a
Poet
Author
A person blessed with talent for words

Expect
Dramatic texts
Meaningful talks
And emotions stirred

Be prepared for
Long nights with us reading
Or writing
And crumpled papers on the floor

Don't try to comfort us with
Fake compliments
And "you tried" speeches
Just hold us and tell us to start from scratch

Because when you're in love
With a
Poet or
Author

They will offer you a
Love unfathomable
And continuous
And inconsistent

Because love is
Not perfect
And we will never
Claim to be

I stand almost alone in
A field of grain
And in this field I see
Me

Four perfect copies of
Me
And each
Me looks a little different

One stands and laughter
S     i        l
   p       l       s
From her mouth
But her eyes are black

In the next me I
See anger dwells
But she doesn't show her
Weakness quite yet

The third has wet cheeks
Sunk in eyes and a weak smile
Though her heart is broken
It still tries to beat

The last is barely there
She is thin and shaking
He body covered from self inflicted wounds
And hateful words and profanities cover her arms

Then you appear and walk behind
Each one of me
And shoot each one in the head
And when you are finished you look up and say

"These are not you anymore
You don't need to hide from your
Friends, your family
And you need to let go your broken heart

And as for your self loathing
We will fix that too
So wake up
And you'll be in my arms"

And with that
I'm trying to let go

I did not forget you
I didn't not leave you
I did not abandon you
I did not tease you

It your memory that has faded
It's you that walked away
You were the one to leave
And hold your love up in the air

You made me reach for it
You made me stretch
And no matter how hard I tried
I couldn't grasp it

So don't point your finger
At me anymore
I'm finally putting myself first
And I'm walking out our door

You're yellow
I'm sorry
But that's just what
You are

You could try to be
Indigo
Scarlet
Vermilion

But you are
Daisy instead
That's okay
Even if others don't think so

So paint with your colors
Fly and show them, proudly
Don't try to be different
Because when you do

That's when you loose yourself

"I'm sorry for
Abusing you through
The entirety of the
Relationship, my bad"

"I'm sorry for *******
Up your whole
Family's life
My bad"

"I'm sorry for
Rapping you
The other night
My bad"

Apologies don't fix
Every mistake
No matter how sorry
You are

I had a dream
The other night 
A small dam broke
Releasing what was held tight

And the water spilled 
Out into a square pool
But the water defied gravity
It slanted and broke rules

We all went swimming 
In the water that was deep
I noticed you had hit your head
In this state of sleep

So I helped you up
Helped you out
And dried you
And then we took the quickest route

To my home where
I bandaged your head
Then you took me up stairs
And we came to the bed

You bent down to meet my lips
And my lips said welcome return
You sat down on the mattress
And I straddled you till my thighs burned

You laid down and
We continued our muted conversation
That's when I was interrupted
By radio station 98.7

But I awoke
With a grin on my face
And I let out a sigh
As my heart raced

I wish I could return 
To that perfect dream state
But I had to brush my teeth and finish algebra
But now tonight cannot wait

They say change is
A good thing

Gavi, this isn't that type
Of change

Please bring my
Gavi back