The windows to your world
Start to slowly close shut
Fingers move less nimbily
Brain clicks into auto pilot

As the world gyrates around you
You stay perfectly still
The noise is distant, miles away
Almost an out of body ordeal

Your feline or canine friend
Snuggled close to youd back
Pillows surround the body
Thoughts drifting more and more of track

Floating into the darkness
Upward into the sky
You ponder your life
And ask the important questions like "why?'

Finally it engulfs you
Swollowing you whole
Mr. Sand Man's job is done
And he has checked off all his goals

I remember a time when
We stayed up till two
With dry eyes and smiles
Plastered across our face

But the mold has broken

And you don't talk to me
Instead you ignore my pleading,
Long paragraphs of thought
Formed into words

But everything has changed

You would say
"I cannot imgine you not in my life"
But here I am
Sitting on the outskirts of your mind

And I have almost been fully kicked out of town

Oh it pains me to see you
Broke and torn down
But obviously I am no longer
Of use to you

Maybe leaving would be better, but
I have been told that isn't what friends do
But I am not a friend to
You anymore

Am I?

They see the scars
But not the story
They see your mangled outer shell
But not the lessons that put you through Hell

Whether it was from a battle on the field
Or a battle in your head
Or from them cutting you open
To take out the tumor instead

Whether you now have a new
***** in your body
Or you fell of the shed
Maybe you failed at your attempt to be dead

They see the scars
Not the story

We are our worst enemies
We can be so harsh on ourselves
We are to selfish and self absorbed and
Worried about the future that we forget to
Live in the moment

We let others cut us out at the knees
We see the blade coming, but we don't
Make a move to stop it
Some people go through these timesand if

You havent already, dont worry
Your time is coming
Life is an ongoing battle and I fear the
Casualties are stacking up and up

Soon the pile while break out into
The outer hemisphere
We focus too much on the negative in life and
We loose our path and forget to live

Don't forget that the past is the past
You cannot forget it, but time fades the
Scars that will never fully fade away
You just learn from and find a way to move on

I am my own worst enemy and
I hate myself more than anyone else
But my scars are fading
And now it't time to let go

Time use to only nip
At my slender ankles
But now it gnashes and
Forces me to flee
I am being pulled through time
So quickly I feel as if I
Am traveling through the
Day, each one shorter than
The day before

And before you know it
It will be September and
Senior year will be knocking on
The door I have tried to hard to
Barricade, adding locks and boards
Of weak wood

I am only a young child
But society soon deems me an adult
Capable of a job and work
And living on my own
But I do not want to be
On my own
I want to shrink down and be
Five again, because then
I didn't think like I do now

I didn't worry about the future
College and the mysteries life holds
The people surrounding me with their
Opinions and crude thoughts
And same-*** marriage wasn't a
Huge deal for me
But now it engulfs us
swallows us whole
And I am scared

I don't want to be scared anymore

Hello, poetry
You have changed
I do not like the alterations
That you have made

Yes I will admit
This new form is slick
But a change is a change
And we will still nit pick

I do not approve
Of the lay out here
Where do I log in
And I now fear

When I have a notification
I won't see that bright yellow bolt
Of lightening, the highlight of my day
So maybe I'll revolt

Maybe I'll stop clicking
Away at the keys
And filling this page
With my poetry

But you and I both know I
Cannot stay away
Hello, Poetry, you are my home
And here I will stay

I don't want to feel anymore
And I don't think I could
Even if I wanted to
Even if they say I should

I physically cannot bear
More mental pain
I receive enough hurt
From my own brain

So drowning out the feelings
And cutting off the ties
Is all that I can do
To try and survive

Day by day passes
But I barely feel a thing
The world seems surreal
I'm not sure any of this is happening

Maybe it's all an illusion
Just some ****** up dream
Maybe my reality is
Not quite what it seems

Because when I slice into my
Arm and watch the blood pour out
It looks like I'm cutting paper
And heightening all my doubts

My doubts on my family
My friends and the sky
The trees that sway around
They seem to wave good bye

Well I wave bye to you, reader
Because this just might be it
This might be the last of everything
I think it's time to quite