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Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013
Well this is new
Now I leave bruises too?
On my legs, soon forming
I'll see them in the early morning

Right besides my deep new lines
Made with every fake "I'm fine"
The scars are proof that I'm alive
Oh look, there's another five

Why do I start to lash out and hit
At my own body and have a fit
When did this new self destruction start
When did my body decide to take part

I hit myself when I'm stressed
With the bottom of my palm I regress
I cave back into my shell
My life, each day, a living Hell

Why I hit myself, I don't know
I'm waiting for a sign to show
Why I leave bruises blindly
Daily and nightly
Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013
These voices in my head
Are telling me to go to bed
And maybe for once
I should listen

Because life can be so cruel
As we work our way through school
Just trying to get by
Through these hormonal states in life

While we try to raise our head up high
Sometimes well falter and sigh
And our heads will hang low
Tears will drop to the floor

But these voices are demanding
They control the things I'm standing
For so strongly
But my knees are going out

So please, people in my brain
Don't drive me too insane
I'm halfway there
And one more voice will do it

Think of all the mistakes you've made
And all the friends that have fade
And realize that it's
All your fault

So voices voices go away
And don't come back another day
And if I die before I wake
Let my soul fly free
Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013
I need to cut it
Sever the thin piece
Of twine that’s binding
Us together

But this twine was
Formed by my heart and
Soul and if I cut you
Off I know I’ll relapse

It’s already began
The scars are deeper than
Ever before and I can’t control
How deep the razor bites

I can’t let people get close
To me anymore
They whisper words of love
When really the words hold deception

So I’m building my new reality
Where cutting is okay
And no one can touch me there
And I can be with the voices alone

I grab my knife and start to saw
Away at the thin but strong twine
That has formed and I’m trying
Not to look back
Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013
With that razor
Every slice I make
I hurt the scared little girl
That's pounding on my heart

She just wants to be free from me, too
Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013
You didn’t actually care
You we’re only reciting
Practiced questions
Drilled into you

Yes it was nice to talk
To someone but all I want
Is some one who
Gives a ****

Because lately I have
Been running out
Of ***** to give
And options to choose from
Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013
I don't hate you
I still love you with
All my heart
I just think its time to start

Building a gap between you
And I because I know
In the end we will
Only be friends

I can't handle another
Heart break from another
Beautiful boy
Who thinks of me as a toy

I can't stand by and watch
You date and **** other
Girls while I'm still standing here
Waiting for your return

No I do not hate you
I love you
But I for once need
To watch myself

Because the cutting is
Getting deeper and
The night's are getting longer
And my heart is growing colder

Don't worry about me
I'm not much to worry about
I'm not somebody special
And I have no doubt

That you'll find another girl
Who notices the special spark
In your heart
So don't worry about me anymore
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