Ellyn k Thaiden

Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013

Love is a
Sinking ship
A ship of which I
Am captain of

I am going down
With this ship
There is no other
Way to run, dear

Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013

Nasty Voices

I'm sick
In the head
And I don't want to be

The voices tell me so
That soon I will be dead
But I'm really not ready

Don't let them take me
Let me stay here instead
I don't want to go now

I use to want just that
To be lying lifeless in bed
But the winds have changed, mama

And I want to ignore their words
That are filled with absolute dread
But they wash over me

Imprint their nasty fortunes
Begging to be fed
I try to starve them but they win

I don't want to die yet
I've still got some tears to shed
So I'll keep on hearing voices

Just for you and only you

Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013

Slanted Waters

I had a dream
The other night
A small dam broke
Releasing what was held tight

And the water spilled
Out into a square pool
But the water defied gravity
It slanted and broke rules

We all went swimming
In the water that was deep
I noticed you had hit your head
In this state of sleep

So I helped you up
Helped you out
And dried you
And then we took the quickest route

To my home where
I bandaged your head
Then you took me up stairs
And we came to the bed

You bent down to meet my lips
And my lips said welcome return
You sat down on the mattress
And I straddled you till my thighs burned

You laid down and
We continued our muted conversation
That's when I was interrupted
By radio station 98.7

But I awoke
With a grin on my face
And I let out a sigh
As my heart raced

I wish I could return
To that perfect dream state
But I had to brush my teeth and finish algebra
But now tonight cannot wait

Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013

Chanting Lies

Four years
Of slicing up my arms
My legs
Leaving scars

Four years of thinking
About the easy way out
Of this messed up thing
We've named "Life"

Four years of rocking back
And forwarth
Just wishing for this
Sour day to end

You say it will
Get better
That it will end up
Okay in the end

I might actually believe you
If it weren't for the fact
That I have heard it
All before

Just from different mouths
Spilling the same lie
Over and over
Never ending

Like if you say it enough
You might not only convince me
But yourself
That it will be okay

But we both know
That no mater how many times
We chant these words
Into nothing but air

That it will not be okay
It will never be okay
And I don't know if I
Can chant any more

Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013

Changing

They say change is
A good thing

Gavi, this isn't that type
Of change

Please bring my
Gavi back

Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013

Chartreuse

You might not believe me
But that is jut fine
Because I saw them
And they're all mine

His eyes are beautiful
His eyes are kind
His eyes are brilliant
And let me peek at his mind

I want to fall into his eyes
The color so bright
I want them to caress me
And hold me through the night

I can't help but smile when
I speak your name
Third book of the bible
It doesn't have much fame

But your eyes shock me
Every time I steal a glance
Oh boy with the beautiful eyes
Please give me another chance

Ellyn k Thaiden Nov 2013

Do I Stay

I wish I could know if
I would leave behind a few broken hearts
A few shattered souls
A few people ripped apart

It might change
If I decide to stat or go
When I bite the bullet
What emotions will people show

But I know that if I were to leave
All that would be left behind
Is an empty shell of me
An already empty state of mind