You sometimes forget my age
That I am only sixteen
You whisper words and tell me things
That you dont always mean

You see me older than I am
Because my soul is old
You tell me all your worries
Of how your heart has grown cold

But when you dont tell me
What is on your mind
I feel hurt and my curiosity peaks
My fingers twist and bind

I can tell something
Picks at your head
Something you wont tell me this time
Something filled with dread

I feel betrayed and sad
But I shouldnt be
You are my mother and I the daughter
Its not you its me

Parties with friends
Hot dates with boys out late
Staying up till midnight
The homework I would hate

High school is not quite
What imagined as a child
Since I've left middle school
My life has gone wild

The last two years
Have been hectic and flown by fast
Relationships and secrets
Things I thought would last

The last two years
Have flown by fast
Memories and people
I thought I had left in the past

The last two years
Have flown by
I wave at the history
And I ask why

The last two years

I am a woman
Feet flying through the air
I fly through the universe
But I really don't go no where

And I tried to tell you
My time would come soon
You didn't let me explain
So I'm hanging by a noose

My regrets are little
And my memories swim
As I'm about to hang around
Till someone else comes and cuts me down

Hot fires out in the woods
Or on our little island, green
Food fights and fist fights
I acted like they don't mean a thing

You think about those little things
While they tie your knot
When they slip that rope around your neck
And wait for you to rot

But that's okay, my love
For I have no regrets
I'm ready to face death head on
I'm not loosing any bets today

A grim smile plays across my face
As I am not afraid to fly
The crooked grin is there because
I'm quite ready to die

Happiness hides under the bed
Where I dropped it one day
As I collapsed down on the mattress
Reading your text at the end of the day

"It's not you it's me
I can hardly breathe
But we need to part ways"
Is what he says

I cried and cried
My happiness lost
Under my bed it sits
Getting moldy and rots

Today I decided
You would affect me no more
I am trying to really get over you, boy
I'm trying to mend the heart you tore

While cleaning out my life
Of friends and family I don't need
Today I looked under my bed
My happiness was there and it pleads

"I know he hurt you
But you need me more than him
Please leave your thoughts behind
For your lost happiness has dimmed"

I picked it up and looked it over
It was changed from years of loneliness
I shake my head and tired it appears
Cracked and dry from weariness

My happiness is not the same
It is anerexic and mad
Not whole anymore
Not the same as it had

So I set my happiness down
And shoved it back under the bed
I will find a new happiness
To use instead

I waited at our park today
Four you said you would be there
I sat at our bench and read a book
Besides me, that bench was bare

I read and read
Pushed away reality
As I waited for you to fill in the space
Side by side with me

You never showed up at our park
I waited there for you till it was dark
Till all the lights had gone out
And the moon was hanging high
As I was hangin low

I looked around me to only find
An empty field of grass left behind
I knew that you were a no show at ten
I picked myself up from my spot
And left my friendship on the bench again

Every one is asking
Too much from me

Mom wants perfect hair
Grades and me to wear dresses

Dad wanted a boy
He wants me to have more motivation

The brothers wish for a better sister
A normal sister they will never get

Peers want my friendship and guidance
I want peace and quite

Close friends want me to have all the answers
And not to ask any of my own

Even hello poetry asks
To add another

I want to do what I want to do
For myself and myself only

I start now