I am nothing new
just another small
girl with a big
mouth.
Just another blonde
with a loud music taste.
Just another **** that
you don't allow to shut
her legs.
Another shrinking woman
squeezing her waist
begging the number to
go down.

I am nothing new
chained to the floor
some force pushing
the toothbrush farther
down my throat.
Gagging, reeling.
Falling deeper.
Enslaved to an
eternal hunger.
Hating myself is
what I do best.
And I am nothing new.

Darling
You didn't put out my flame
it's still here
licking down to my hands
to burn the people
who maim

But that's not the point of my
words today

Today
I'm trying to tell you
that I'm still burning bright
Only because of you
Because that's what you told
Me to do.

I told you
I'm standing in dried concrete
and I swore
I won't move

You replied with "Nice anatomy"
And we laughed our ***** off
because the word 'analogy' failed to
come out of your mouth.

We sat on the back
of your moms car and
stared at the stars

We danced outside
to some stupid song
as the sun slowly came up

Sam
My hurricane
You twirl dangerously
and you spin carelessly
You move out of other peoples way
straight into
destruction.
Because you'd rather
hurt yourself
than mistakenly harm another.

And Sam
My darling.
you deserve much more,
than you've set yourself up for.

Your life is reckless
and dangerous
And honestly,
some of the decisions are pretty stupid.

I'm not one to talk,
But we can be pretty **** sure,
that the good die young.
So long live the reckless and the brave.

'Cause I'm still burning bright.
And some day
I'll write a book
Titled 'My Hurricane'
Talking about those nights.
The ones that kept us both alive.

In the morning I can face my reflection
Though I know I may not be the prettiest
Your anger hurts, but I'd have no reply still
Even if I was the wittiest

Please,
Just explain to me,
why when I think of
you, it sends shivers down
my spine.
Why I can't get rid of you.
You see, I have a habit
of remembering you.

How your nicotine
ashtray kisses tasted.
When you were on
ecstasy and the wind
got you excited.
How whiskey tastes like
the sweat on your neck
as I kissed it off.

You see, when you left
I had to quit cold turkey.
When what I needed
was to be weaned.
The addiction stayed
and you are the ******
my veins crave.

You said you loved me.
I didn't believe you.
But when I said no,
you listened.
And that's what confused me.
When you were almost in,
and I was on top,
and I changed my mind,
you said okay, and didn't get annoyed.

That day, I decided I loved you more
than anything.
But when you left,
the sky went blank.
The stars went away.
Because why would they stay,
when the person who put them there left.

Why would the sky stay blue,
when you were the one who gave it that hue.
You gave me everything.
And when you left,
it all went away.
I stopped caring,
I went empty.
Every fire you ignited,
went cold.

The little girl you knew died.
The naive one...
That smiled all the time?
She's gone.

And don't even get me started.
On how I tried to find you in every
other guy that caught my eye.
That little girl looked for you,
she laughed
and smiled.
but eventually... she died.

Because you gave her happiness,
and you gave her life.
When she was so depressed,
she just wanted to die.
Because her limbs were lifeless,
until you touched them.
and your touch has long since faded.

He says he loves me.
I believe him.
But when I'm underneath him
and yelling no
he doesn't listen.
He'll shove his hand down my pants,
expecting there'll be no admission.

and I'm tired.
Because you sent fire through my veins,
and he sends ice.

We would kiss for hours
and you wouldn't make a move
until you were sure, that I wanted it.

The first day,
that I hung out with him
his room, was the first part of the tour.
And then it was his bed,
and it was me on top of him,
and my shirt goes off,
and his hand darted for my pants.

2 months together, you and I
and no *** was needed.
He wanted it the first week.
After 2 weeks
and 1 day,
he finally succeeded
and after that, he was never happy.
I was easy to please,
he liked it when I screamed.

Comparing you two,
is never fair.

It makes me miss you more,
and me only despise him.

but reality is,
He loves me, and he's not going to leave.
I love you, and you're long gone.

But no, was never a word in my vocabulary,
as much as it is now,
until I met him.
I say it at least 50 times, and he still doesn't listen.

"It's not **** unless you like it."
I guess, I can't blame him.
Because when he gets in.
I don't even try to fight it.

JannaLee there is a reason your middle name is hope
you have been through a **** storm
and come out a shining diamond
you have been shoved down in the dirt
and come out a beam of hope
you have been hidden away in a locked closet
and come out a beautiful rainbow

I have a million things to say to you
about how you made me feel
how worthless you made me feel
how broken you made me feel
and I could write you a list
I could mail it to you
I could write you a song
I could sing it to you
I could scream it at you
I could cry to you all the things you did to me
tell you how much I loathe you
I could tell you how you WRECKED me
how you RUINED things in my life
how you destroyed those that I care about and love
I could etch it into your skin
leave it in a note on your doorstep
burn it into the wood of your backyard fence
...but I won't.
You really don't even deserve to know what you did to me anymore
So goodbye now.
Even though you're not even worth a goodbye to me anymore.

Repost if someone has stopped even being worth a goodbye to you at this point because of how deeply they wounded you.
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my poetry or your thoughts on my work or on poetry itself as an art!