Despite my youth, I yearn for my past!
To relive some little joyful part of it,
To remember and feel such a blast,
That it is forever recommitted and I not forget
That all I am is borne of those moments!

Ah yes, small moments maybe,
But a big ripple can be made by a small stone,
And times in my life that are happy,
Far outweigh those that would see me undone,
Keeping me fresh years after they occurred,
I wish to travel back!
Just for a day!

He was my first
love

He gave me butterflies

When we were together I needed to always
touch him
hold his hand
lay on his chest

He gave me anxiety

When we were apart I needed to always
hear him
know where he was
and who he was with

So many nights spent
laughing
loving
together

so many more spent
crying
alone

I gave him my heart
I gave him my body
I would have given him everything
I did give him everything

He cheated
He lied
and still he loved me
and stupidly,
I still loved him

I walked away
he broke me
finally
I walked away
carrying the pieces of my heart
In my young hands

He got engaged
(to the girl he cheated on me with)

I moved
out of this country and across the world

I patched up my broken heart
It took a long time
and a few one-night stands
there were pieces still missing
and scars where the cracks were glued
but I understood this heart much better
than before when it was whole

Now I'm with my new love

When we are together
We cuddle
We read
We watch movies

When we are apart
We send each other updates
and tell each other
I miss you
I love you

I don't always get butterflies
but I never have anxiety

Almost every night we
laugh
and
love

and when I rarely cry
I'm not alone
and he holds me
and says he's sorry
or I say I'm sorry

He fills the holes that were left behind
and my scars are nearly faded

But sometimes I think back to my first love
my young love
my innocent love

And although my first love
at times felt like
magic
buzzing bees
and hot electricity
running through my veins

my new love feels like
warm cookies
a sweater on a crisp day
sunshine in the cool wind
and home
And I know that this is better.

The number of faces I see each day
adds up and starts to fade away.
I exchange laughter and speak a lot
but never do my eyes get caught.

They say that love can be first sight
but never did I think it might.
Books and movies make it seem
but fiction's not reality

All I know is your eyes caught mine
I close them now,  you're in my rhymes.
You spoke to me but i couldn't hear
my heart was beating so loud i feared
that you could hear it and walk away
but i don't know what made you stay.