I close my eyes as I breathe in the ocean, I am happy
A little white house on the beach, you and I sitting on a verander facing the ocean
I smile as peace flows over me, this is my dream
My dream with u by my side

But you not here, you haven't been here for years
How does my heart recover when all it wanted was you
My heart searched for a similar love
And it has not found it, so now it transports me here
To my dream
My dream with you by my side

My heart comes here to feel you near
To smell your sweet mask, the smell that remains in it
My heart comes here to taste the happiness its lost
To taste the softness of your lips, the softness that soothes it
Yet this is a dream
My dream with you by my side

Now that my heart is filled with the memory of you, I smile
I open my eyes, tears rolling down my face because I know
That my dream is gone
My dream of you by my side

I was more than confused,
I was lost and conflicted.
Struggling with myself,
Because I knew were you stood.
Where you will forever stand.
You got with another,
And at first you broke my heart.
But I realized,
I Forgive you
I don't care anymore,
You can no longer hurt me,
For it was me hurting myself.
When I took a step back,
I gazed at reality.
You know what I realized,
As I took a deep breath?
That it was never the her,
It was always me.
I Forgive Her
She was wrongly accused.
I don't want to be loved by you anymore,
I'm ok with what we've always had.
I don't ever want to lose you.
I love seeing you this happy.
If she makes you smile,
Then I'll smile too.
I just want you to know,
I will always support  both of you.
My love for you is deeper than that,
I could never lose,
My very best friend.
So I am not mad,
And I will not hate.
Just send a smile my way,
And I'll be ok.
Because you are
**Forgiven

I am uncomfortable
Here in my comfortable life,
Churning through the days
A bewildered automaton.
Appointments and should haves and could haves elude me
Nothing's worth bothering with, really
Except...
Except...
Except...

I am not unhappy, I just don't fit
Into my own life.
It's like someone dropped me, awkwardly, into these clothes
And told me where to go
And what to do
And how to eat
And meet, and greet,
And somehow, I'm good at it,
Not being me,
Perhaps the discomfort
Gives me an interesting edge.

So, where is my real life,
And who is living it, then?
Is she as bewildered as me?
Does she abhor or adore
her worshippers?
Is she at home on the stage?
As she sings and recites and receives her applause
Is she wishing she could sing a completely different song?
If we met
Would we envy each other,
Or scare each other half to death?