Anaïs Nin once wrote;
'And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.'

Life has been a roller coaster, few words
describe this journey, taken,
swaying from belief to imperforate betrayal,
doubting all I am, do
and in, an unfathomable manner, enticing myself,
to the darkness, where I may find resolve
allowing me to not only, wholly, scratch the surface,
but dig deeper into the skin,
cutting through skin, membrane, muscle
I delve right into my bones,
the veins in my body flow,
with rhetoric and rhyme, infiniteness
climbing up the walls, the skin tears
a sempiternity of knowledge pours,
red sanguine fluid,
purge my body, pierce my mind
a carcass remains, ready
for devour.

© Sia Jane

Please feel free to learn more about me and my writing on the Facebook page I just started.
My poetry at present is really concerning the fears I have about finally widening my audience to my work.
https://www.facebook.com/Siajanewords

I found you, cast away in the shadows,
hiding from the laughter, of those
painted clown faces

I found you, on the rooftop
sat with your arms, clasped
to you, wrapped around

Searching through the crowd
blinded, the lights of this
crazy, maddening fairground

Colours forming, moving
the Northern lights, blazing
blues, green, pinks, yellows

Kids and lovers, screaming
the Matterhorn spinning,
a frisbee gondola swinging

Midsummer Fair, a fresh green common
distracted, I turn, the Midnight Express
decorated, loosely dressed women and men

Axles rattling in and out
Ferris wheels, bumper cars, waltzes
Ray Davies playing, side stalls and games

Rubber ducks hooked, fathers shadowing
***** misplacing baskets, a high strike to the bell
in among mirrors, I now find myself reflecting

A cacophony of sounds, noise
music of Bob Bradley penetrating
these convex mirrors, movers and shakers

I pace past drag queens, circus freaks
footsteps moving in timely accord
the Helter Skelter, confused, disorderly haste

I am the whirlwind, climbing outside
the spiral tower, to the top
stars and constellations above

At its peak, I see you
you've climbed onto the rooftop
again

I always found you here
hide and seek, morphed into
children's games of sardines

I find you, you have hidden
I stay with you,
until we are found

Together.

© Sia Jane

I am a thousand different things
I'm people, objects, nature, animal
I'm woman, man, girl, boy, child
toddler, baby, foetus

I'm all you could dream of (not) wanting
I'm all you wish you were (not)
I'm (your) anger, sadness, fear, regret
I'm (your) happiness, joy, hope, love

When I write, I'm a character
fiction, autobiographical, biographical
I'm lived, burned, broken, insane
I'm madness, virginal, loose, free
closeted, bi-curious, let's wait it out and see

I'm intrigue, a passer by,
I'm the observer, the observed,
voyeurism, peeping tom, negative film
Moss, McQueen, Klein

I'm art, symbolism, post-modernism,
I'm poetry; written and spoken
I'm the woman you read of; her
I'm the girl who made you cry
I'm full to the brim of (your) inspiration

I open doors to the past, then slam the door
in your bright doe eyes
I close doors to my future, and sneak back
through cracks in the floor,
just to get back

I laugh in your face, and burn holes
in skin at your absence
I kick dirt in my eye, then cry wolf
blinded,
I'm the severest of contradictions,
I say yes at no, no to yes,
I decide on impulse, and cry on cue

Beauty, romance, love, lust
poetry,
all the questions I am made of
I answer in the written word
mute,

You only know me,
(if of course you dare)
by reading my rhymes,
(non judgmental stance)
and loving me regardless,
(don't expect perfection)

If you're going down
the same road
start today,
face your demons,
be the contradiction.

© Sia Jane

--

"So unimpressed but so in awe
Such a saint but such a *****
So self aware so full of ****
So indecisive so adamant

So rock and roll, so corporate suit
So **** ugly, so **** cute
So well-trained, so animal
So need your love, so ******* all"

Robbie Williams - *Come Undone

The chance to blossom, the fear
of failing,
weighing so heavy
on,
my broken,
encapsulated heart
no return, only the
desire, lust
to prove myself, worthy
a candidate,
of caliber, meritorious of
praise,
the extremes, of this
bipolar,
express, they named
it,
would surely bring,
a cast opened
soul,
drinking blood, vampire
of this night,
inspiration from
constellations,
midnight skies
feeding,
pleasure, gluttony

Tell me,
am I laudable
is this,
my true calling
or, am I yet,
again,
fooling myself,
even you,
squirrels in the attic,
batty,
deranged,
maniacal,
unhinged,
unhooked,
berserk.

©­ Sia Jane

Starstruck when our eyes meet
Electricity goes right through me
Nothing compares to this
This is the sweetest
Most precious
Sense of happiness
In your heart, I find peace
In your eyes, I see sense
In us, I find confidence
Confidence in true love
Confidence in trust
Confidence in worth
Confidence of all sorts