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Eleanor May 2020
Unbeknownst to me
On top I was deep in another world
Right to the chase
My own bed as it is now
A premonition, I wished it was
Below, muscles and strong hardworking men
Driving him crazy!
A lingering dream which felt so close
I was so close!
Never to stop or surrender
Gave me everything I’ll try to remember
A dream so deep and him just as much
I wonder if I’ll ever find someone
The sexiest crush
Eleanor May 2020
stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea
Eleanor May 2020
silk
distraught
love won
love lost
too many interviews  
blew your first shot
there's a lot of blood for one night
a party on new years
what a game
maybe you'll leave or maybe you'll change
the sun hits my eyes
as i fly that kite
i try to watch out
reign it in
but it puts up a fight
not dissimilar to you
theres nothing new
here i am
stuck
while youre untrue
Eleanor May 2020
nothing is perfect
not on the first shot
but angel we tried and it didnt get better
where can i find you now
a hospital or an apartment broken down
a tool, a disguse i used to understand
now youre not in my head
youre not a friend
you asked if i missed you
said i was sweet
take a look at my body
you wont feel the heat
theres something inside i dont want anymore
its something deep and stuck to your core
i tried to brush it away but it has thorns
i told you ive loved you since before you were born
theres nothing inside me for you
not anymore
Eleanor May 2020
How ridiculous it is
to think me and you
there was never a reason to be true
where did everything end up
im outside and youre blue
i paint portraits and poems
he wouldn't like this. god. cobain.
jack **** is what i got
some compliments that didnt add up
you want nothing and thats still a lot
where do we even end up
this isnt what i wanted
we dont mesh, the colors on your collar
and the sweat on my breast
was there sometime out there you felt the insecurity of my flesh
i hear birds chirp now, your season gone
i ask myself how i let things get so wrong
play acoustic until fall asleep
fast and weak i take a seat
wish again you were here with me in this park
next to the street
i feel you even when youre not here
not sure if its you or a ghost i feel near
i want you to be what you can never have
you want me for my years on letterman
wheres your angle
you do nothing for free
(you aren't jack ****
you can't **** with me)
i watched too many courtney love interviews tonight, if that ***** can play guitar me the **** too.
Eleanor May 2020
En mi mente hay una nueva problema
¿Dónde está mi futuro?
Cuando es el tiempo correcto

Yo necesita libros, una capacidad por pintar, musica, y arte
Mi vida no es completo sin música y hombres y fiestas en la ciudad

Yo quiero entiendo más cosas en mi universidad
Yo quiero entender más hombres, más mujeres y amigos, posiblemente yo quiero reunirme por la primera vez con un profesor.

Yo quiero bebés, pero nada ahora, yo quiero ser presentado más personas y más cuerpos.
Eleanor Apr 2020
"However, for many of us it’s an ongoing source of disappointment and even an emotional roadblock in the relationship.

The questions nag at the back of our brains and maybe tug at the heart strings a little. Why won’t they listen to reason? Why don’t they value their own health? Don’t they want to live to be there for their grandchildren – for me? How can it not bother them to be giving up decades of their lives or at least the hope of some additional active and independent years? What am I supposed to do here? Will anything I do or say make any difference whatsoever?"
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