I think I'm leaning into the "I don't give a ****" vibe REAL hard.

A part of me is like stop being a problem, but then the other part of me is well, isn't everyone else the problem.

I think the latter is true.

Men have done this to us. I used to not think this way. There are good men in this world. But I can count them on one hand.

And now we believe the lie that they're good. That they love us.
And then go to the dive bar, get drunk, make **** jokes, maybe put their hand on our legs, abandon their children and make us feel like absolutely ******* nothing.

So I think the next time I talk to this chick. It might come out that I go "CAN WE NOT".

And It might be me saying "everyone else is willing to lie to you but I just can't do it anymore."

And you know what, I'm going to be the villain. I'm going to be the *******.

And I might be hated.

But I'm also right.

I think I'm better suited being right than hated so maybe I just don't care.

Because if you live it, and you suffer and you do nothing about it.

Aren't  you just as bad as them.

You snaked your way into my life,
You can slither yourself out.

He builds robots
with his bare hands.
He takes the wrenches
and the electronics
and the nuts and bolts
and makes out of nothing
Something.

And even though I don’t even know him.
I think I may love him a bit.

I think about
How he puts things together that weren’t connected ever before.
Fixing that which is broken
Or unmade
Or seemingly unfixable.
And proving the world wrong when this man-made machine
is just as alive as the rest of us.

The discarded
are made
into something with a renewed sense of purpose.
Proving recycling as a totally viable concept
[and not just a fad hippies whine about]
Right before your very eyes.

And as I watch him explain
High level mechanics
to the English majors like me,
I think about my broken heart
and the inability to truly love anyone in the last five years of my life
And I think

Maybe
There’s someone out there
Who can finally fix that.