you're not pretty enough
or so they say.
your optimal weight should have your bones poking through,
somewhere below the mass of 72.
you're a **** or a *****,
with no in between.
wipe your tears away *****!
we haven't even started to be mean!
***** your head on straight,
go find a job.
you'll never find work, you worthless slob.
cross your legs, keep them closed,
but let your cleavage show.
be kind, not a doormat!
you were asking for it anyway.
touchy, touchy, touchy

wait. why did you go?
you were so young and so beautiful.
you were so loved,
it's such a shame.
whoever made you feel that way?

Seeing shadows which have fled,
Nothing's underneath my bed,
Darkness crawls around my feet,
They all laugh and think i'm sweet.

These words have no meaning just opened ended feeling.

I went to a club today
and didn't feel like dancing.
I went to a bar and didn't feel like a drink.
I went to a girls fourth floor apartment
across from a 7-11, her underwear salmon pink,
and I was nervous.

A head so clouded
by heavy darkened thought
and fake instilled meanings
and cannabis.

Hopefully there's more than this

I try to change my socks everyday.

Otherwise i get all tripped up on my past.

Sometimes my life feels like lint between toes.

Rubbed off raw material from a malfunctioned owner.

Getting washed down a drain at the end of the day.

Taken away from a broken home.

Drowning without a chance to breathe anyway.

During those long, tedious 9-5 days,
glancing out the workplace windows,
sometimes I'll wish nothing more than
to just go outside and lie in the grass.
As I would lie there bathing in sunlight
the ground would come up, grab me
keeping me rooted in its dirt,
while the wind
would blow away my troubles.  

Some days I actually visualize it.
Me, slogging away the days work,
somehow whimsically stumbling outside.
I would arrive at the grass tired,
with a sad, dead look in my eyes.
Magically, the earth would rise up to greet me.
Hugging me, taking me in, it would whisper
"It's ok, your home now."