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Ellie Belanger Jul 2017
If all my loves be rivers,
then the landscape of my soul
is ancient Sumer,
a rich soil of sprawling floodland
which feeds my ambitions and my
most potent desires

If all my loves be rivers,
then You, sir, are the arterial causeway
of the whole spraying spigot.

You are the Nile, which overflows and destroys as much as it carries and creates. You are the Yhangtze. You are the Mississippi.
In the middle of your route, you become the dead sea. I feel myself floating against you.

You are all rivers.
But you are not the ONLY river.

And that is why I wonder
about possible paths that might yet
connect me back to you.

Even if you
are not
the river I choose
to paddle.

Somehow
I feel like you are the leafstem
which grows tiny veins
pushing outward on the leaf.
Every line goes back to you.

Yeah.
That's true.

River or leaf
love or not
my canoe comes back
to the love I've sought.

Your love.
You're love.
Ellie Belanger Jul 2017
Today I realized that
shucks
is a combination
of two
very bad
words.
Ellie Belanger Jul 2017
So many beautiful moments to enjoy
To fill you up and allow you to feel
Would it be wrong to try
And find meaning in them?
Ellie Belanger Jul 2017
Instant relief in a world of instant everything
It seemed impossible but now seems obvious,
As everything does in hindsight.
Of course, of course,
I must retain my walls,
Boundaries high and low, far reaching
As Hadrian's conquest,
Probably an echo in my blood,
Brought down through generations,
Only to be changed now
In a world too full of information,
Scattered like bags of ashes across the face of global communications and user friendly internet.


Ancestry battles now
Mutation maybe
And the cry goes out,
To remedy instant electronic relief.
And not have frescos devoted to iPads
When our civilization becomes dust.
Ellie Belanger Jul 2017
hmm,
long calendar.
not very many
empty
squares.
The blank ones
are like gasps
of
air
between
deeply held
breaths.

You are busy this year,
I think,
my hands lifting
page after page.
I am
peeking into
the
Void,
overcome,
but
reawakening
with every
little
white
square
moment.

It is a mess.
Planned to the day.
A buzzing swallows
all of the sound around me.
Gooseflesh arms.
Expectation battles with
doubt in the roiling furnace
of my guts.
Too much, too much.

Looking
away,
I hear pages lightly
slap
the wall.
Goodbye long calendar.

I am off to fill the spaces
in my days
the old-fashioned way.
Ellie Belanger Jul 2017
We pray for snow in summer
For the pleasure of cool water on our skin
For the pleasure of being heard by the gods
We pray.
Ellie Belanger Jul 2017
It had been getting late.
Now it was late.
He said, "Don't go. You can do with three hours instead of eight."
I rolled my eyes. "My demeanor would not be great.
And besides," I said. "It's a ten hour tomorrow."
He shrugged with annoyance,
no chance at sorrow.

No hug, and no kiss to bid me goodbye.
But part of me was glad of this,
for, I mean, why?
Why would I get a hug or a kiss
when I am not someone (to him)
who should be sorely missed?

I have never left.
I will never depart.
I live forever there,
with him, in his heart.
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