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Jan 2016 · 459
The Worst Me
Thoughts flood
Like the flow of blood
Deep in my veins
I lose the reins
I may wonder
What if the thunder
Hit me one night
Hearing out of sight
What if I had begun
What should not be done
Would I be alive
Would I thrive
No matter how futile
I wonder once in a while
What if I did not surrender
Would I be much better
What if the blade cut
Would it have shut
All these open doors
Would others be there
Would people still care
It is in these stars
I think of all my scars
Scars that cannot be seen
Scars that have always been
Christ has set me free indeed
Yet I still have this great need
Sin remains my fight
Even in the dark night
I have true salvation
But recall the abomination
That once was me
And looking back I see
That growth has taken place
As I tirelessly pursue His face
I cannot claim
That I’m the same
As the one I follow
I’ve my own sorrow
I’ve my own blemishes
Yet He finishes
The faith I’ve been given
Because He has risen
It is in my eyes
That I realize
That no amount
Of inner doubt
No what if thought
Could make Him nought
Even the worst me
Is loved endlessly
No matter how wrong
He makes me belong
Jan 2016 · 431
Vulnerable
What would she say
What would she think
If she saw me sink
Standing in the day
Falling in the night
It is not a show
That I allow to flow
It is my darkest fight
I’m scared she will leave
Because of my sin
The darkness within
Even though I believe
Will I still get hurt
If I speak openly
About my insanity
Will I feel like dirt
If these words are spoken
Am I just melancholic
Or just sinfully sick
Will I feel less broken
If I write as if none will read
Am I more free
With unbridled honesty
Acknowledging my need
Let the truth out
I live always improving
Cause life is always moving
Despite all my doubt
Jan 2016 · 399
Not to Stir
I spoke all my words
I see the vision blurred
I am terrified to the core
What would she do if she saw
I want to be better
I want write the perfect love letter
But what if she knew
Can she see right through
I’m just a boy who prays
Who has been caught in a daze
I fail in areas I should not
I do like her a lot
It appears I am all over the place
I know how deeply I need grace
Lord forgive me for failing
Help me return to smooth sailing
Conform my mind to Yours
Show me the open doors
Help me to love her
And not to stir
The things that should sleep
Lord please will You keep
My heart and my soul
In Your perfect control
Jan 2016 · 1.1k
Grace
To my sweet Saviour
I thank You for Your favour
You have given me my dreams
You have heard all my screams
When there was war on the inside
In You I could confide
When I was truly broken
Your soft words were spoken
Through every single low
You still helped me grow
Your grace is more than enough
When life is good or tough
When I thought there was no more
Then You let my heart soar
You led me to meet
A lady so sweet
A lady whose heart is Yours
Oh Lord be the One to open doors
You introduced her to me
And Your beauty I can see
In her word and action
Even in our interaction
I thought I had tasted the best
I thought I was already blessed
Now You have shown me more
And my heart does adore
The love You have given
Possible cause You have risen
I never thought I might be
A man with such a lady
A lady who prays
A lady who lays
Down her will
For the Lord's fill
Oh may she be forever blessed
Cause she is the best of the best
Jan 2016 · 566
Happiness
How many pages must I fill
To describe this inner thrill
Higher than the highest cloud
I always want her around
Her smile uplifts me
She has a Godly beauty
Her words are so kind
She just blows my mind
And yet the greatest thing
Is Christ is in everything
When I am weak she is strong
Now my heart does truly long
To stand in a strength not my own
That I may always lead her home
Home to heaven above
And surround her with love
That she will never doubt
That I could never do without
Her in my life and mind
She is the treasure that I find
I hope she will always know
She is the reason I glow
She gave me her time
And so inspired this rhyme
My heart just cannot contain
My happiness when I hear her name
Dec 2015 · 538
Created
Darkness surrounding everything
Glory to the only King
I was ***** and broken mud
Yet His love came like a flood
Picked up my pieces
And shaped me to be
Just like my Jesus
He made me perfectly
He shaped my heart’s desires
And He knows all my thoughts
He ignited within me burning fires
He has filled all my thoughts
With pictures of His greatness
With images of His beauty
Oh how He promised to save this
Heart within me so entirely and completely
Dec 2015 · 267
Winning the Heart
The water lies still at midnight
There is still the faded light
Of the full moon tonight
Yet the setting doesn’t matter
Cause you have me on a platter
My heart is just getting fatter
With all the sweet sentiments
And the lovely compliments
This is the greatest of accomplishments
To win a fine lady’s affection
God’s image in her reflection
And love becomes the infection
And you let it loose within your being
Cause there is nothing more freeing
Than letting God who is all seeing
Be in the centre of your romance
God leads you as you dance
The feeling lingers like a trance
Her soul brightens yours
And inside both your cores
You feel those open doors
The igniting of a spark
Eradicating the dark
You see love leaves a mark
Etched deep within the heart
Is where true love will start
And nothing can tear it apart
Dec 2015 · 298
Pure Faith
If you care to look
In the Holy Book
There are great tales
Of faith in the sails
Of countless broken men
Whom God made new again
A murderer opened the sea
Oh Lord please use me
A man of great lust
Has a name that won’t rust
Even the greatest sinner
Was a soul winner
A man of denial
Tasted revival
Even a *******
Was not left destitute
You are the God of change
You come and rearrange
The priorities of my heart
From Your love I cannot depart
I desire a faith so pure
People will see the grandeur
Of the life of a pilgrim
Blessings to the brim
Consume me with Your fire
Your will is my desire
Dec 2015 · 244
Made New
Dear Lord
In Your Word
You showed me
How to be
Love to others
Sisters and brothers
Every father and mother
Yes to one another
Regardless of race
In every place
To reflect You
Is what I want to do
I am Yours
Open doors
Be my guide
I cannot hide
Your glorious light
By Your might
I am made new
Cause of You
Dec 2015 · 358
In My Head
In my head,
There’s so much I’ve said.
Words of affection
Spread like an infection.
The intensity builds to a ******.
All the advice says to relax.

But, you see, in my head
With all the words I’ve said;
I can see what isn’t there.
I know this isn’t fair.
She should get to decide
If she is along for the ride.

However, in my head
She has already said
All the words I want to hear.
Heart-warming, brings a tear.
But, once again, I’m in a rush.
So my thoughts I need to hush.

But, you see, in my head
I feel like the dead
If I am to deny this emotion.
But is the train already in motion.
I know it barely makes sense,
But the air has grown dense.

Because in my head,
I’ve already said
Words, so rash, so wild.
I will grow more mild.
Cause time will let me know
If this feeling inside will grow.

So I have said,
What is in my head!
A poem about strong feelings for a lady far before those feelings are due.
Dec 2015 · 305
Hand-Made
The beauty of all I see
Changes my reality
The hills are hand made
With a beauty that'll never fade
The sky is painted
With an ink never tainted
The fields are wonderfully woven
With the best plants chosen
The sea with its powerful allure
Has the heart captivated
Yet with all the majesty and grandeur
There is another beauty unanticipated
The true beauty of a lady
A beauty without any fallacy
A beauty born from her deeds
It is in a lady who intercedes
A lady who will always pray
A lady who lets God have His way
There is nothing more attractive
Or that makes a heart so reactive
Than a lady with a Godly life
Who would not focus on strife
Who has heard the Maker's voice
And follows Him by her choice
Lord make me a Godly man
That I may attract a Godly lady
Lord help me to follow Your plan
I will enjoy every day of Your beauty
Dec 2015 · 297
Grateful
The day dawning
New hope spawning
When I look back
I have no lack
Good times plenty
Regrets empty
Made many mistakes
This is what it takes
To live a life of value
Always being true
To what is on my heart
I would never restart
Cause my scars
Are my stars
Always reminding me
Of every possibility
Yes, I am very intense
But I hope this makes sense
I am never the same man
Cause I am following God's plan
Being renewed in His image
Teaching me through the damage
Glory to the King
For everything
Dec 2015 · 328
Plain and Simple
Honesty is not the best policy
Cause it might show the real me
"Be careful what you say"
"You might chase people away"
If I am just being me
That includes my intensity
I don't want to sound
Like I'm boasting aloud
But I would rather be alone
Than trying never to moan
Or mainly refusing to express
What lies within my chest
I will wear my heart on my sleeve
I will not try to always please
The passing opinions
Of passing people
Or the fading feelings
Of all my fake friends
So I will hold on
Even when all things are gone
To a friend closer than a brother
A loyalty like no other
Dec 2015 · 263
I Couldn't
I want to scream
But have no voice
Do you know what I mean
When I say I’ve no choice
Days like this
I’ve never missed
Where I contemplate
If I should tempt fate
Would I really feel distressed
If I got you undressed
I want to give in
And not think about sin
The thrill of being wrong
I know I shouldn’t long
Can I release this emotion
Without starting a commotion
Jesus, I know I shouldn’t
But You know I couldn’t
So now in my temptation
Please relieve my frustration
Even if it is the death of me
I would rather die suddenly
Than live a moment without You
Dec 2015 · 319
The Temporal Criminal
A dimly lit street
So many incomplete
Drugs overflowing
Death rate growing
Teens in despair
Parents rarely care
Although this is dismal
There’s something more criminal
A crime often unnoticed
You never thought you did this
To pretend God doesn’t exist
Even in His midst
Why, child, do you doubt
He has the power to lift you out
Out of whatever circumstance
That makes you feel at a distance
Yes, it may not be easy
But is God your reality
Where is your hope
You, above all, can cope
You will never walk alone
You will always have a home
What will come later
Is so much greater
So do not only see the temporal
For that would be truly criminal
Christ has given us so much more
So why Christian are you on the floor
Dec 2015 · 297
Sweeter
The stars shine brighter
The flowers are more fragrant
My soul soars higher
Yet my heart is a vagrant
If I do not get to see you
Oh what can a man do
Your eyes are beautiful
Your life is graceful
Like a bird flying high
I am so astounded
That even when you cry
You remain so grounded
Surely God gave you your beauty
Cause even the blind can see
The tenderness of your voice
Which leaves me little choice
Because beauty is in your everything
And this beauty is from the King
Your body is a perfect partner
To your heart that is larger
And more priceless than any other
You are incomparable to any other
And if I ever heard you say
That you feel the same way
Then for all my days
I will forever sing praise
Because if God said let it be
Then my heart will give it all
So that you could be
More blessed than them all
Dec 2015 · 749
Fire
A light in the dark
A flame from a spark
In the most hopeless place
Even there is Your grace
Even when I was dead
You kept me fed
My sin had me captive
But You were still active
In changing my heart
It was always You from the start
You make me better
You wrote me a letter
Of instruction and love
Sent from above
Despite my thoughts of the day
You're the one that remains the same
Despite the desires within me
You remain my reality
I am so grateful for You
Make my heart brand new
Now within my soul is a fire
Burning brighter and brighter
Forgive me for my inconsistency
And help me be a better me
Dec 2015 · 228
Why Love
Why do I want a partner?
Is it that I may be stronger?
So I don’t have to wait any longer?
Is the hole inside something larger?

I want someone to hold my hand
Someone my heart can understand
Pursuing a body is so bland
I am seeking something grand

Another being to be close to
To help you be a better you
When it doesn’t matter what we do
You look back and time just flew

I want that person to know
That I will help them grow
Through the rain and snow
Through the high and low

You see even if it is just me
I want conversations with tea
Conversations about more than we see
Conversations about being all you can be

Yea, I might be a little obsessed
And this I have confessed
But this is how I want to be blessed
But Lord, in Your grace I rest

If this is not from You
Remove this heart within me
If this is from You
Help me wait patiently
Dec 2015 · 361
Man
Man
God, the great I am
Came up with a plan
To save man
Man could not make a claim
To change his name
He was meant to have domain
But chose the chain
That wraps around the neck
Chokes life, leaves a wreck
Man was broken
Yet God gave us a token
Of pure love
Sent from above
And fits like a glove
Christ gave His blood
Filled us like a flood
Until we are overflowing
Yes, even you can be glowing
Shining a light and growing
Cause my God is all-knowing
He knew to make a way
For us to be able to say
Lord please forgive us this day
And even now my God will stay
When you feel all alone
He gives us a home
Thank you God for life
Thank you for choosing my wife
I will give you praise
All of my days
I wrote a prayer just the other night
In it I asked for the gift of flight
That I may flee all this insecurity
It lies deep within so none can see
But when the night has come
My mind becomes undone
I wrote a prayer just the other day
In it I wrote all that I had to say
Lord I began and Lord I ended
Yet I left so many offended
“How dare I speak to someone not there!”
“How do I know that He can even care?”
They asked these questions repeatedly
Yet they never once considered me
The world pretends it wants the best
But soon you realize the parasitic pest
Drains you and steals the life in your veins
Yet we are able to break these chains
We turn our eyes to the Healer
We put our hope in our Leader
Yes! We have the power to say, do, and be
All that Christ intended for us on Calvary
So brothers and sisters, let us learn to love
And forget how to push and shove
Too often is a person broken down
By the thorns on Jesus’ crown
Dec 2015 · 342
I'm so Glad that it is You
Living never felt this good
Now that I have died
And my ground I have stood
And these tears I have cried

I’m so glad that is You who lives in me
And I surrender completely
I’m so glad it’s You in me
Please have Your way in me

You came and You died on a cross
Rose from the grave once again
You suffered the loss
That I could be Your friend

I’m so glad that is You who lives in me
And I surrender completely
I’m so glad it’s You in me
Please have Your way in me

You were slaved that I might be free
You were broken to make me whole
I surrender completely
And to You I give my soul

I’m so glad that it is You who lives in me
And I surrender completely
I’m so glad it’s You in me
Please have Your way in me
Dec 2015 · 371
Ball At My Feet
With a ball at my feet
The world feels complete
The beautiful game of football
Has me giving my all
It is not all about the score
Cause there is so much more
Character displayed
Has many dismayed
Cause when those lines are blurred
And your heart is stirred
Then we see the man within
Godly man or man in sin
Only when the pressure is on
Do we see the path you’re on
So may I forever play the game
For the Name above all Names
Dec 2015 · 799
Criminal Love
It is time you say
For me to choose my way
And you want me to break her heart
Because you say she will restart
I know you want the best for me
But why must I destroy this love in me
I can't see what you see
Because I am so deeply
Infatuated with her beauty
I guess I don't see reality
But how must I get those words out
If I too am starting to doubt
How is it possible to say it's over
When I think there will be no other
I don't know now what to do
Because I don't know what is true
Pull me through this hard time
Because my love is a crime
I don't think I sent this to the lady I love
Dec 2015 · 300
Kiss Kiss
Kiss kiss on the cheek
Didn't know I'd be so weak
Kiss kiss on my lips
Share some of your love tips
Love love like you do
I know I love you
Love love you're so sweet
My heart skipped a beat
Touch touch hold my hand
You know I understand
Touch touch don't let go
You know where I want to go

I taste your lips
And come for more
I hold your hips
And I adore
The stars in your eyes
A sweet surprise
Give me your heart
And then it will be the start
Of forever and ever
Babe we'll stay together
Dec 2015 · 236
Dead Man (old poem I wrote)
Death and disease
Put me at ease
All your words
Echo in me
Fly like the birds
Above my misery
Something great they said to you
Now all this pain thanks to you
The silver blade
In my throat
Live in the shade
I sunk my boat
You try to comfort me
But inside you're laughing out
All these tears from insanity
I can feel your disappointment and doubt
You try so hard to concentrate
But I am the reason you suffocate
My blood is all that can heal me now
My soul, my reason disappeared somehow
Depression elevates inside my head
Dragging me until I'm dead
Family lost its place
When you walked away
Now you will taste disgrace
When you hear the demon say
He lost his mind
You won't find
A piece of him
Cause now the light is dim
Only God can save
So take the halo off
You're not brave
You're a show-off
An act in front of a crowd
His screams ever so loud
I am his demon
His heart is screaming
Just walk away
His pain must stay
You think you see his eyes
Welcome now a ****** surprise
All you see is the scars
His family left in him
Multiply all the stars
And you get the scars on him
He is past redemption
Forsake your conviction
To save his soul
You must sell your own
You can't fill this hole
All he is is rotten bone
Cry on him
And water his eyes
His lights are dim
He waits for sunrise
To see the world
The one that he will burn in
Try save the world
And you will join the fallen
I wrote this a long time ago. Thank God I have come from a dark place into light.
Dec 2015 · 237
Love Feeling Love
The still water of a lake
Reminds me of the beauty of your eyes
You took what I thought you couldn't take
And my heart was left in your wake
So now when I close my eyes
There is something that I realize

You have got me captivated
I feel like I'm obsessed
I wonder what has instigated
This thing that has my heart fascinated
But this feeling I've confessed
Always feels the best

I day dream long conversations
And walking by your side
My heart is prone to exaggerations
But I love these sensations
An admiration that I hide
A confession to which I'm tied

I love feeling love
But I am wanting more
God must send from above
A love that fits like a glove
She will be whom I love and adore
This is what my love is for
Dec 2015 · 2.4k
Oh Lilypads
Oh lily pads, sitting on the lake
Never alone, never making a mistake
Oh lily pads, sitting on the pond
Two lily pads have the strongest bond
Oh lily pads, sitting together forever
Is there a love that lasts forever?

Never have I seen a sad lily pad
But only joy and beauty I see
There has never been a lonely lily pad
Because their love sets them free

So won't you be a lily pad with me
Floating together, sitting together, being free
So won't you be my lily pad
With love that always makes us glad
So my lily pad will you sit on the lake
Loving me despite my many mistakes
Dec 2015 · 1.2k
I need my Saviour
As the day takes form
And the night comes to an end
Then I’ve already made the first mistake
And I know it’s still a brand new day
What can I do to be set free
That I may follow You

I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night
I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night
I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night

What can I say to excuse myself
There is so much I know
I cannot explain why I serve You in pain
When You have made the way
Still I sit here and burn in my desires and lusts
Lord Jesus have Your way

I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night
I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night
I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night

Now I pray for Your strength today
Hold my hand and lead the way
Help me to see me the way You see
And make me follow You
Jesus I surrender all
To You my King of Kings

I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night
I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night
I need my Saviour by my side
Morning, noon, and night
Dec 2015 · 426
Honesty
Its dark outside
And earplugs are in
At the place where none can hide
Yet no one sees behind closed doors
I sit and decide it’s time to face myself
First is first I pick up my past from the bottom shelf

I see innocence like none I’ve ever seen
Soon to be taken at the price I never imagined
At the beginning I never thought I could be so mean
Life was always about me and I was in control
But now the struggle I face today started in grade 4
I never knew my innocence meant so much more

Most people just can’t believe me
That once I was a quiet boy
They assume who I am from what they see
Never knowing that the wall has many faces
“Oh what a clown so sweet and all is well’
Oh very sure I was quickly on my way to hell!

Do you smell the hypocrisy in the air?
I said I believed but I only knew
Never did I realize I was under God’s care
How many prayers did I pray to waste!
Grade 4 to 6 transition began to grow and grow
In grade 7, dominance was all I wanted to know

Never thought that a Baptist kid would retaliate
I was the greatest fool pushing people around
I guess I left Satan a wide open gate
He wreaked havoc in me for so many years
Yet I have barely even lived a life
But all my past has caused so much strife

The blame game made itself my safety boat
Every excuse and weakness that I could find
Anything – even my own mom – became a scape goat
I thought I was bigger and stronger than the world
Even though I was short and just a small part
I always fought never to give in it was all heart

Yet not even I believed my masked attempt to flee
I think that inside I tried to run far from myself
I hated the show and the inner monster that became me
I was the one that made the kids scared to come to school
I was a monster but no one could see it
The anger came from nowhere it seemed I just wanted something to hit

Over time the bullying seemed to stop
Well done they said but the problem was still there
I reckoned that I was nothing but a flop
You know the one you don’t get right the first time
Going through school was like going through the phases
But in reality I got nowhere in life’s mazes

Cheating and lying became my daily hobby
But busyness kept my conscience away
It was like my mind was always an empty lobby
Always thoughts flying through but progress always zero
I spent so much time being who I was not
That during the show the real me began to fade and rot

I even had a religious show going down on both my knees
Singing clapping but always inside I was dead
You know in truth all I was out to do was to please
Being religious was a trip it came just in time to graduate
But so quickly after the thrill had gone
I was back like a dog to his bone

Women were the first thing that I would use
They always warned me saying ******* was bad
I sank so low but thought I was high anything to amuse
I went through phases worse than the Lion King
Then I went for peace and the hippie train
Stealing and drinking were the only way to stay sane

I finished school then was on the run
From myself and the problems that I was causing
This is always first done in the name of fun
But the traps are out quicker than you can doubt
It was only when I left and just stopped for a moment
That I started to see that I wasted my life every moment

I mean even when I left I lied
But slowly and patiently God showed me my actions
And though I regret all I’ve done I never cried
It is almost as if my conscience is fried and burned
Now I wonder many times about the past
How could I have been so foolish to let my sin last

You know I hid everything I am so well
That it might take me a lifetime to relocate me
But I cannot help but feel like I was plucked from hell
My parents and my brother did not even know
All the lies and things that I stole
I never realized I damaged my soul

As for the present I find it hard to breathe
I find that restoring the lost is a journey
And that not even half the truth I struggle to perceive
I am just grateful that I am alive today
The Lord God Almighty has truly pulled me out
Out of hell’s fire and His reality I can never doubt

I guess what I mean to say is I am alive
Not for me anymore but for God alone
And I find that Jesus is the only reason I live
Because I still sin and ***** up bad
But I know that if I give 110 percent
God will make me decent

At the end of the day
I am just grateful
And so I say
Hallelujah
Lord God Almighty
You are my Daddy!
Dec 2015 · 271
MY GOD
Hello,
Who am I?
I’ll let you know
I can fly
With no wings
I am rich
With no things
I can dance
With no feet
I’m a trance
That’s so sweet
I’m the song in your head
The emotion you feel
When you are alone in bed
But above all I am real

I am the hand
On your shoulder
I will understand
And make you bolder
I am strength within
I am light that shines
I give power over sin
I give you new wines
I am the strongest
Yet I break no one
I am the kindest
Yet death will come
I am your lover
Sticketh closer
Than a brother
I am your God
Wanting your time
I am your God
You are mine
Dec 2015 · 304
Pursuit
If I stared in your eyes
Would you realize
That my heart beats faster
Than ever before
And that my heart grows fonder
Of you all the more

I was never meant to feel this way
But that changed on that day
When I looked into your eyes
And a passion began to rise
Ignited my thoughts are drawn to you
Wondering if your heart flew too

I realize that I feel too quickly
But what if I gave in emotionally
Just let my heart fancy the thought
That what if I had caught
Your heart as you have mine
If I pursued would it be fine

But alas my heart has tricked me before
Many times I thought I could soar
But every time I fell down fast
So I will be more patient that in my past
For the next lady I pursue
Will, dear wife, be you
Dec 2015 · 495
Hearts
Like a rollercoaster
Is my heart beating faster
Free falling down in all this feeling
The pressure is raised to the ceiling
Lord so willingly I will say yes
Lord I am in a mess
Like a boy at Christmas time
Oh I wish she was mine
Lord You know my heart better than I
I can only bring to You my heart’s cry
Lord please let this be the one
Father help me to be more like Your Son
Lord You know just how much my heart pounds
You also know where the truest love abounds
May every word that is said be Yours
Please guide and open the right doors
Lord I worship You and trust in You
I know You will do as You promised to do
Dec 2015 · 368
Guess I am not Superman
Guess I’m not superman
Guess I can’t save the world
But LORD Jesus I know you can
LORD these tears are falling down
Oh I tear off my earthly crown
Oh Jesus I am consumed inside
Your message I long to share
But the strength I do not find
LORD I know YOU are always there
FATHER I cry out to YOU now
LORD YOU see all these empty souls
I don’t know where I don’t know how
But I know YOU will fill the bowls
LORD I never want to breathe without YOU
May I do everything that YOU do
Live in me I pray
I cannot live any other way
Nov 2015 · 716
Doubts
Do I make a difference for YOU?
Am I doing that which I should do?
Can strangers see the light burning?
Are any people really turning?
Oh LORD, banish this insecurity!
Life is not about me!

What if I died would it change the world?
If I am YOURS shouldn’t I fight the world?
LORD can YOU please use me?
I long to give myself completely!
LORD, am I different from the rest?
LORD please may YOU be blessed!

LORD has all of Christianity become about us?
My pain and sorrow for others has become so serious!
What can I do to live every day for YOU,
If normal routine is to focus on what I do?
LORD, please hold YOUR child right now!
I lay at YOUR feet longing to always bow.

LORD, YOU know my heart’s desire,
But may my eyes never look to me but to YOU!
LORD, within me there is a burning fire!
And it compels me to try do what YOU do.
LORD, please forgive my many failings doubts
YOU have lead me through all of the droughts!

LORD, please have YOUR way in me
For I am nothing without Thee!
Nov 2015 · 250
Loving Lust
Her hands walk on my chest
She manipulates me the best
Her voice penetrates my mind
Her substance I cannot find
She kisses my skin
I want to give in
Her body wraps around mine
It feels like everything's fine
Her smell intoxicates me
Her gaze captivates me
I lay down next to her
She pleases me that's for sure
She touches me with a delicate finger
She makes temptation always linger
She knows what I want to hear
She is the reason that I fear
Her name is Lust
She thinks she's a must
However, she is not real
No matter what you may feel
She leaves scars and tears
She is the worst of my fears
She has broken many a home
And left many men all alone
She is fun at first
Yet an unquenchable thirst
I refuse to let her in
I will let Love win
Nov 2015 · 292
Dead Man's Plea
The rain drops cold but the memory sweet
I remember the days before I sat at Your feet
The mind like a deck of cards without distinctions
Going on just the same life without restrictions
Thoughts of lust grabbed me young
But still it was I that thought it would be fun
Lord I rushed to the front so many times at church
I was like a bird taking new a different perch
Lord I cannot say when You saved me or such of the sort
Lord but what I do know is that You are now my only resort
I feel my story lacks that awesome power clearly displayed
Yet when I close my eyes I know that Your beauty is arrayed
I think of the millions of stars that makes the whole world small
Lord I also think of how You suffered for my fall
Lord I am nothing but the dust that You formed to be like You
Truly a blessing that is really not my due
But nevertheless I know that through the trial and storm
Slowly but surely the character in me starts to form
Into something that is not my own
I feel a yearning for a truer home
Lord please have mercy and grace on me
Without You this is nothing but a dead man’s plea
Nov 2015 · 1.1k
Christ
Cursed that I may be blessed
Broken that I may be whole
Truly You gave me the best
When in Your hands they made a hole
Hated that I might be loved
Bruised that I may be healed
Oh Lord only You have truly loved
I lay now with my hard heart peeled
Lord Your mercy holds me firmly
Lord Your love is now alive
In all I pray that it will be Thee
In whom I will always thrive
Lord I am honestly underserving
Yet Your love surpasses all
You are truly unswerving
For You catch me whenever I fall
Oh may I truly be out of my depth
When I think about all that You do
Oh Lord I am out of my depth
And longing to be lost in You
Nov 2015 · 281
Changing the World
The world was dark without form
This was the beginning the norm
Our minds roamed free in days past
Before we were taught dreams did last
No one said I could not fly
I never had to explain why
The mind of a child is gold
May his little mind never grow old
Who sees the beauty in all things
Who truly reflects the King of kings
A child can conquer any obstacle
Cause of faith all things are possible
A child loves despite what is done
A child will never stop but run
Run until he can’t no more
But that is when he will soar
A child’s smile is priceless
May a child never be godless
And lose his innocence so precious
And fall prey to the enemy so vicious
So change a child’s life with joy and peace
And see the blessing of God be released
Nov 2015 · 269
Broken Soldier Been Renewed
Draw your lines on the battlefield
Pushing and striving yet none will yield
This is the war that continues after it ended
These are the people we left undefended
God is good and all the time
Can you say that with your life on the line
Oh death where is your sting
Do you believe that with your everything
Maybe none of us were ready for war
There is no choice when the enemy’s at the door
Fight the good fight we were told
Repetition made the command grow old
Soldier! Pull yourself together
Don’t you know that live or die God lives forever
We are strong not on our own
We fight not against flesh and bone
Sing and shout praise God at length
For the joy of the Lord is our strength
You practise when the times are good
You only win the battle if your ground you stood
Lord through all things may I serve
For truly You haven’t given me what I deserve
Lord I reach out to You most High
The Lord of all who will hear my cry
Glory and honour to You alone
Holy Spirit You will guide me home
Nov 2015 · 196
Break Me
Lord, I am so sorry that I fall
There are no words of consolation
Lord, I want to give you total control
But my mind is the picture of desolation
The worst part is no one knows the flaws
Everyone sees the smile and the front
No one sees me staring at doors
Wondering if I am just a runt
I know the foundation of my faith
But I see no growth inside of me
I see no use of this mighty faith
I see no signs of the smallest victory
Must I go on in my depression?
Must I fight this battle until the day I die?
I desperately need regeneration
I am the bones laying down so dry
Lord, I ask you for a change in my heart
Because this sin continues daily
So Lord, break me and please start
To help me follow You mainly
Then the other things will be in place
Only then will I be made like You
Only then will I see Your face
But this is something I cannot do
So Lord, Have me
Lord, break me
Nov 2015 · 357
Poem of Love
The sun rose up ahead of me this morning.
As the rays of sun struck my eyes,
I lay in my bed still yearning.
Time never stops and soon I must rise,
But I lay a little longer letting my heart linger,
Dreaming of the faintest touch of your finger.

I know that I must wait even longer,
For the Lord to let me know.
I know that this should make me stronger,
But all I want to do is go.
I want to be with you, and where you are.
I will disregard the miles that say you are too far.

I know that this is madness.
How could I assume so much so soon,
But when we speak I feel so much gladness.
Oh if life were just like a cartoon,
I would fly through rain and snow;
Just so that I could let you know.

I would let you know my heart is like a song,
It only begins when the occasion is right.
It will never stop until it does belong,
In your heart, and brings to you great delight.
So let God provide if this is meant to be,
But forever and always, you will be special to me.
Nov 2015 · 486
Beast
Once upon a time, there was a hideous creature.
He lived alone in the mountains. Oh so alone.
Through the night, he would wander into the valley.
None went in the woods at night. Not even the brave.
The valley was known as the midnight grave.
The monster would rampage at night so angrily.
Yet many find it strange, that even he has a home.
But anger and fury are not the only things that feature.

As with many a story, there is a legend to this plot.
At the home of the beast, there is a quiet, still man.
A man that is so kind and soft; he silences the beast.
They share a home, but are never seen together.
The man is as gentle as a baby bird’s feather,
He is the kind of man who would rather be the least
So that others may achieve all that they can.
However, legends often have details that are forgot.

There came to the nearby town a festive time,
Filled with laughter, smiles, and celebrations.
Many visitors came to see the sights and sounds
Of the festivities of the 27th of February,
A celebration of all those who are free.
This is a place and time where love truly abounds,
A place where love is expressed in plays and demonstrations.
But the people leave the area as soon as the clock hits nine.

The ravenous beast comes down from his mountain,
In search for objects to suffer his anger and rage.
Many a lost soul has had to suffer,
Because their timing had been unappealing.
Yet the strangest happening happened this evening.
The beast was in full rampage, getting rougher and rougher.
He rampaged on and on broke through every trap and cage,
Yet he never went past this one fountain.

The morning came and the town was broken,
The festival was officially over, just like the year before.
Yet amongst the rubble, a little girl began to cry.
She had lost her favourite story book in all the commotion.
Irreconcilable, she could not hide her emotion.
Her parents, frantic, moved away for fear that they may die.
For tears are said to fuel the beast to cause others to suffer more.
The pain of others was said to be the beast’s token.

In the lair of the beast walks the man of peace.
The man had found something new this day,
He found a book that he had never seen.
So in the quiet, he sat down to read,
But as he read he realized a need.
So something started that had never been.
The man read some more, and unwittingly began to pray.
This quiet man realized then that he was a masterpiece.

The book that was lost got a man found.
The book that was found never got lost.
The man never departed from that storybook,
But since that day the beast never returned.
The quiet man was the beast that yearned
For the pain of others, and so did look
For ways to make others get lost.
But the cure of the beast was a man to be found.

You see the quiet man carried his rage in kindness,
But he was equal to the beast that rampaged endlessly.
The only salvation for either man was found in pages.
Whether you act or you don’t, your heart will bear witness,
If you are truly and honestly selfless.
It doesn’t matter if you complete all the stages,
Salvation is wrought in the heart for true victory.
So acting alone without the heart is but utter madness.

Whether you do or don’t matters little,
You cannot walk down the middle.
You either live for God in your heart and deeds
Or you follow a path that only to sadness leads.
Nov 2015 · 637
Am I the Only One
Am I the only one that’s blind
The circles that go through my mind
The truth that’s never found
The pain that starts again
Am I the only one that fails
And feels so dead inside
And You suffered the nails
The pain I just cant hide
These scars can go so deep
And nothing seems to work
So I cry and I yearn
For You to come right back
And make my world to turn
Everyday I choke to death
Jesus save me from this place
To You I give my every breath
Lord I know I’m a disgrace
Fallen every time he comes
My heart can’t take any more
These feelings say I am done
It is as if I am torn
Nothing wakes me up
Yet I know You drank my cup
Jesus save me now
Because I don’t know how
To breathe or even live for You
Take all I am and make it like You
I trust in You Jesus
Even though I want to quit
I trust in You Saviour
To save me from the pit
Nov 2015 · 382
A Moment in Time
A moment in time
A moment just fine
When the whole world sits silent
And the thoughts fly through time and space
What if you were your own tyrant?
How far have I fallen in this race
Thoughts so jagged the pages burnt
Slipped and fell the feelings weren't
Hopeless despair the trickling smile
Laughing and joking the fool was I
Never look no not once in a while
Patch my thoughts the evil does cry
So many times I turned from You
Now I hold on to the shred I have left
Knowing that it is in all the things I do
Whether or not I will give You what's left
Lord my prayer today
Is simply that You will have Your way
Nothing am I, I cannot breathe
Your glory now I only start to perceive
Nov 2015 · 431
A Failing Soldier
There is a battle inside that no one can deny.
My strength is failing on every single try.
Lord, I am so confused; I just don’t see the light.
Inside is like a hurricane, and every breath brings a fight.
I cannot tell what is up and what is down anymore;
These feelings lead me in circles. I don’t what they’re for!
Lord, I really what to do things Your way,
But I can barely live with myself today!
Lord, please hear this sinner’s plea.
I need You so desperately to change me!
One day I will be running closer to You and Your place;
Then the very next moment I will fall and make myself a disgrace.
What hurts me the most is that I know what I ought to do,
But I know that all I do, I should do it for You:
But how can I do such wickedness for the Holiest of Holies!
I know He knows I am just like all those phonies.
Lord, I know I am so far from where I should be;
I should be able to hear You talking in me.
Oh how weak is my faith Lord!
Strengthen me by Your Word!
Lord my failings are so many I cannot even list them;
My heart grows heavy because I cannot fix them.
Lord please search me and know my heart;
From today may You be my continual start.
Lord I long so lustfully for what is not mine.
I need You to break this from me, I am Your vine!
Lord, my prayer to You is that You will just have Your way in me
I have lived long enough to find out that all I am is nothing without Thee!
Have mercy on such a wicked blasphemer such as I;
May You be my God and cause me to forever in Your arms lie!!
Nov 2015 · 339
Me
Me
In a time before time was
Lived a man in his cave
He did things like a man does
Showing no emotion calling it brave

However, he lived like every other man
Doing what he ought, following his plan
He never thought of what he couldn’t see
He only thought of the man called me

In his mind there was only a higher being
In some strange way this gave him meaning
Irrationality seemed to be in his nature
His logic was nothing more than a fracture

He could never understand why
Some birds walk and others fly
Yet busyness seemed to be the solution
As his time became his pollution

As the days turned to weeks
His mind grew more leaks
Never taking time to think
His life was gone in a blink

Here is a man like you and I
Who never asked the question why
Simply going through life’s motions
Responding to everyone else’s notions

He lost his identity in the rush
So we must learn to take note
Take the time to help yourself hush
And read the letter God wrote
Nov 2015 · 377
The Coin
Like a coin tossed in the air
I’m spinning faster and faster
This aggression I cannot bear
The inner strength I cannot muster
I have lost sight of the goal
I am losing the peace in my soul
Being stolen by sin and stress
Oh Lord just look at this mess
I am being pushed to please men
But I would rather die than do that again
Yet if that not enough pain
I’ve been living a life that is vain
Caught in the hypocrisy
That has become me
I thought I grew
I thought I knew
More than I used to know
But the growth has been so slow
I cannot help but look to me
And be overwhelmed by shame and pity
Oh Lord many who read judge
And others say be careful of man
But Lord I have grown numb to your nudge
And I need no man’s silly plan
No one can offer me a secure dwelling
All the evidence is compelling
If I were to die I’d be dead
But still I hear bad thoughts in my head
I guess most have stopped reading by now
So Lord I need a break through somehow
I can’t help but fall short
I look around for any kind of support
I feel so isolated in this place
It like no one wants to confront disgrace
They would rather hide it with a smile
And they hurt in the mean while
Lord please share with me a peek
Into what I am meant to be
Because right now I am weak
And defeat is all I see
I know the right way to go
But my heart just doesn’t know
I have the words to say
But my life is so far from ok
What do I do?
When all I want to do
Is simply die for you
Lord, give me strength for the day I begin
Lord only You have overcome sin
So I pray that You will restore all
As I fight to keep my soul
Tucked firmly under Your wing
Lord to you I give my everything
Nov 2015 · 291
Love
If I wrote you a beautiful sonnet
With all my inner thoughts on it
Would you pay any attention?
Would it spark any sort of affection?

I just wonder what it would take
To make you realize my heartache
Must I look like another man?
Will you then be my fan?

If I were more talented at performing
If I could keep you smiling and laughing
Then would I fit into your conception?
Then would I receive your reception?

Does not all love require an act?
This is what I know to be fact
Love requires a performance
Then you judge if I deserve your acceptance

I am loved based on my actions
My decisions have their implications
But do they have to?
Does this have to be true?

Why do we restrict our love to the qualified?
Why do we leave so many to be denied?
Nov 2015 · 322
Dear Wife
Dear wife,
What words could be said
I’m heels over head
I am in awe of who you are
You are the brightest star
You are a mighty waterfall
Strong and standing tall
Yet pouring all your love out
Refreshing all without a doubt
You are the sweetest song
You are where I belong
I look forward to the day we meet
But ‘til then may God lead our feet
I will be in His moulding hands
As a boy who barely understands
Yet I will be your man pure of heart
From His Word to never depart
May you find me to be
All He intends me to be
To my wife
Nov 2015 · 770
The Beauty Queen
The stars are bright on this cold night
The song is sung as the last bell was rung
We were dancing slowly in the moon light
She twirled and spun for the night had just begun

Her smile was the only thing that I cared to see
Her eyes were shining out the beauty that was inside
She danced all night and then she danced with me
It was just like heaven as we stood side by side

The beat was slow and steady
But my heart wasn’t ready
For the charms that she sent my way
I was snared and I was caught
Yet there wasn’t a word left to say
Because she was the girl that made me feel like an astronaut

Before I knew it the night was gone
There were no victors no one won
Won the heart of the beauty queen
She had taken me to places I have never been
But the night was through and so was I
The queen was never one to cry

Night after night I searched high and low
For the girl with the magic glow

As I was about to quit
I felt the soft, quiet spirit
He touched my heart and led me home
And there was the queen sitting all alone
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