I wrote this back in July;
I was going to leave it private due to "personal discretion,"
but I feel that allowing it to be openly read will be good.
I've posted and taken down this poem a couple times,
but this time I'mma leave it up for they who are interested.
---
If physical ******* closeness
equates to you Peace of Mind,
then go **** them all, ******,
and I hope it ******* works.
Though, ******, I think you'll find,
there won't be Peace of ******* Mind
unless the person you tend to ****
is the person you tenderly ******* love;
I know it can be ******* nice
to just be close and ****,
but even then, a simple ****
is never ******* simple.
I respect your ******* right to chose
to **** without a thought of your ******* "love"
but it is that it was so ******* easy
that makes it hurt so ******* much.
While I'm sorry to be writing this,
I know ******* well I shouldn't be.
It's as if you embarked on the Path of Revenge
without the foresight to first dig two Graves.
I'm not going to ******* dwell and brood;
I'm going to express my ******-for mood:
While I appreciate your ******-up honesty,
and don't mean to make you regret it;
you ******* had an opportunity to chose,
and you sure made your ******* choice!
You ****** it up.
You ****** him.
You ****** her.
You said you didn't know why,
but you sure ******* did it anyway.
I forgave you twice, ******.
You wanted me mad at you.
Then, you ****** him and
got what you wanted.
*******;
******* two.
Don't you regret it?
If you somehow didn't,
I bet you ******* do now.
You've made your choice,
now live with the consequences.
You've ******* sickened me.
Third time's a charm.
Maybe it's a ******-up Karma
for how we got together;
"I don't do this kind of thing"-
*******! It's become a trend!
Maybe I should have gone and ****** my ex, too,
the day before our friends' wedding
without even a ******* thought of you, Love.
What a Lover you proved to be!
Congratulations, you ******* sickened me.
You don't have to say you're sorry,
I know you are; if you have a heart.
I respected you.
I trusted you.
You ******* disappoint me;
maybe you're better off this way:
So, I wish you the best of ******* luck
with whomsoever it is you decide to ****,
but, being hit yet again by that emotional truck,
this time it's yourself who you can go and ****.
[Stop and Breathe]
[Calmer]
I do still ******* love you,
though I don't ******* know why.
That's what makes it hurt so much;
it makes me sort-of want to die.
**** this feeling,
and ******* for leading me to it.
I do still love you,
though I don't ******* know why.
I will try not to hold it against you,
I will try to rise above such a Grudge.
[Stop and Breathe]
**** this feeling
and ******* for making it so real.
I do still love you.
[Stop and Breathe]
You don't have to say sorry.
Just be sorry
for a minute.
-
[Calm:]
You are young.
You have things to experience
and lessons to learn.
You need to be free.
You need time.
Live for now.
I, too, am young,
I have things to experience
and lessons to learn.
I need to be free.
I need time.
Live for now.
We are all young.
We all have things to experience
and lessons to learn.
We all need time.
Live for now.
I'm happy I get to help you, I'm sorry it can hurt.
I truly mean no harm; I seek Catharsis.
Catharsis is a form of Self-Discipline;
to be able to be there for your self;
to not **** it up for someone else just because you're peeved.
To outlet things constructively,
if sometimes offensively,
in order to further your self
and your self-understanding.
I do still love you,
for what it's still worth.
Maybe after the tides have changed
after the ******* firestorm of pain has subsided,
we can try again to hang out
but, I must say, I wouldn't hold my breath;
******.