Her softness
  under the slight touch offered
  creates such serenity
  within me
The jewels within her eyes
  gleam so bright
so sure of her beauty
and the rareness of her love
Her assuring smiles
and playful gazes
move my hands over her
most intimate places
My soul devours her
sudden sweet gasps
my lips hunger
for the breath she takes
my spirit is restless
for the love she makes
9/4/2000

Whenever I feel
as I do today
I remember
all of the past
no, all of the bad past
the **** I should've forgotten
This weakness inside
has caused me to cry
and to hurt uncontrollably
...suicidally...
too much to let it go on
again...even anymore.
I believe in trust;
what darkness of the past
influences my heart to disbelieve?
Shall I face the failures
my heart has felt
can I expose them all...
even for myself?
My strength is hiding
I suppose, from itself
weakness    shadows   strength
because in weakness, strength is learned

In my state
I see clearer
I become nearer
to who I need to be
by what I see
inside of me
12/11/00 ~ 10.55p

Days and nights are blending
into sunsets and dawns
life's not about life anymore
(at least not to us pawns)
Is there an understanding
we've forgotten to seek?
A connection within ourselves
waking from our sleep

We've programmed our defenses
to react -- to attack
to believe blindly in a cause
we sacrifice to defend
Where is our compassion
for the leniency of truth?
When knowledge never ends...
can a belief be complete?
And, can perfection exist
without the search for clarity?
041101~12.02a

sinking under
this mirrored surface
one last glance
at who I am
undertows from inside
the water flows
to where I hide
distorted vision
time rushing past
to say, "I love you"
took my last gasp
051501~12.4p

Poet inside:
  help me verse
  my deepest hurts
  and carry the lies
  upon the wind of my stormy skies.

Into a new world I came
brimming with energy
clear of my shame
yet, it rises again
as the sickness sets in
the bile of reason
still clinging to my throat
I spit out my choices
that burn as I choke
I'm no more a man
than the million I hate
My old condemning voice
laughing in my face
The rotten stench
of judgemental purity
haunting my senses
with hell's fiery fury
And stand, I must
and full-on face
the horror of selfish choices
that pull me into my grave
But why stop there?
On my back with heaven open
the stars cry deep
to fill my tomb
but it would not be justice
to die in the womb
Mother embraces, as she births,
nurtures, and finally claims
every life is equal
every death the same
It is those who destroy
that do not belong
there are too many tears
and too few songs
My circular path of destruction
has isolated me alone
beneath the charred remains
the seed of life lay unsown.
081103~7p

Knowing that I can
Knowing what I am
Am I nothing more
than a wolf with a lamb?
...playing so precise
delaying to entice
my ****** appetite
Visions of incisions
to betray my true intentions
nothing means more
than for you to be delicious.
Straining in protest
I love it when you fight!
Knowing I'll ingest you...
but first, that painfully sweet bite.
Rakes down my back
inseminating your nails
the flames forcing me deeper
together in our hell.

Death Death Death
Everywhere death
reigns supreme
in my life
in my dreams
in my laughter
in my screams
Nothing's sacred
nothing safe
The razor, she yearns
for the kiss of my face
How much more scarred
can this mirror be?
How many more cracks
til I see the real me?
I long for the times
of solace & wine
with razors & rhyme
I'd pass my time
to heal
what the rest of the world wanted
to ****
to need
something the others
are too scared
to believe
the desire for fire
underneath my skin
crawling and screaming
slowly deeper within
Metallic lips to fleshless heart
what was bled and what was shred
it never really matters what was said
All that counts
is who was left dead.
08203~1.57p

Look at me now
all tossed & turned
bitten & spurned
like I forgot how
that I painfully learned
those lessons of life
straight from a knife
And from that night
was kindled a light
that strengethted & grew
that guided me through
tho' darkness consumed
I always knew
that you,
my darkness,
were never through
with me
082603~7.18p

Ah, how silence grasps
the darkness at last
all voices hushed
inside we rush
safe in havens
under watchful light
betraying ourselves
as we die of fright
091403~7.3p