I used to keep my heart on my sleeve
so naive and easily deceived
any lie told to me, I would believe
my mind fought what my heart perceived

trying to find all of the right signs
I hid my heart and tried my mind
then within those dark confines
I've come to find that my heart was blind

I feel my anxiety getting worse.
I feel things were going to get better one day.
But there just stuck in turmoil.
I don't know how much ******* more I can take.
The blame.
The pain.
The crushing inside my heart.
Why do people blame me for everything?
It's not my fault none of it is.
But they all make it my fault.
It's hard to stay true to myself.
Why'd you hurt me when you knew?
You knew it would hurt and you did it anyway.
Why do people hurt others on purpose?
Especially the ones they love.
Jesus I pray you come back soon.
Save me from this hell on earth.
What if it is my fault.
What if I'd never said anything?
What if no one ever knew and things were still the same?
You were my distraction.
The good thing in my life.
And now it's shot to hell.
I don't know who to turn to.
There's so much pain pouring out of me.
Why do you want to hurt me?
Your daughter.
Your creation.

I'm in love with him but I can't love him.
To be in love as a Christian young adult, that's almost impossible.
God says with him all things are possible.
Except being able to fully love him.
He makes me feel amazing and I love how he would do almost anything for me.
I want to give him everything he deserves but since I love God I can't.
I want him to just understand for a second what it's like to love God.
It feels like your very soul is so full of life that a fire will shine through.
The power of God is unfathomable.
If he loves me he should be willing to wait with me and in the end know that it was so worth it.
I love him so much and he doesn't even fully know because I can't show him.
I just want him to know that he's so quickly becoming my world.
That I've never loved anyone like I love him.
That just looking in those hazel blue eyes brings the biggest smile to my face.
That when he holds my gaze everything is perfect.
That when his smell runs into me I fall in love all over again from the memories.
That he makes me so unbelievably happy I never want to be without him.
That I wish I could give him everything he wanted and deserved.
I can't lose him over this.
It feels too good to call you mine.
I love You.

I believe this world
will forever try to test our love
misfortune, anger and hatred
it tests us with all of the above

trying to strain us
see if it can make us want to depart
seeing if our love is real
if emotions can erode our hearts

it throws whatever it has at us
trying to break down this young boy and girl
but hates when we realize we can't be beat
cause baby, its me and you versus this world

and we won't be beat