boys will be boys
when he pulls her pigtails.
boys will be boys
when he takes away her virtue.

i am but a monster of hate.
the thought of myself makes me deflate.
the quieter it is, the more i think.
in the silence is when i begin to shrink.

nobody fears a monster so small,
a monster too scared to take part in a brawl.
one day, i was greeted by a friend.
i start to wonder what will impend.

my friend really wanted me to come.
come and join his other friends to watch him play drum.
the thought of their attention on me makes me quickly say "no".
deep down, i just know how it was going to go.

at my response, my friend got upset.
i didn't realize then how much he hated me yet.
he told me bluntly: "i didn't want you there anyway".
and the truth of it all destroyed the rest of my day.

You spoke about leaving
So often and for so long
That I didn't believe
You'd ever be gone

unfortunately, i have always cared.
you will never see me spreading the secrets you have shared.
though you went and broke my trust,
i simply told myself: "if you really must..."

i was never one to start a fight,
but i admit that i have said some things out of spite.
when you cursed and said you wished for my death,
i felt myself holding my breath.

your hands shot out when my tears fell.
i wanted to tell you to go to hell.
right then, i really wished i did not care,
but intentionally hurting you is something i would never dare.

you held me as i silently shook,
for a moment, i forgot that you were the crook.
am i under some dastardly charm?
why am i crying in the arms of the one who caused me harm?

dampness spread on your shirt from the tears i shed,
your fingers threaded through my hair as you whispered: "i didn't mean what i said".
it didn't stop my bleeding heart,
i find myself wishing i could restart.

if we never met, where would i be?
perhaps, in the arms of someone who truly loved me.
but leaving you is something i'm not prepared.
because unfortunately, i have always cared.

i am a little stray cat,
far too small for you to see.

food is always uncertain,
even when i'm full, i think about hunger.

here lives a million humans,
but i found a lovely one who notices me.

and if i could be hers,
i am finally seen.

when i cried as a little girl,
my mother used to tell me
that i had no reason to cry
if she had not laid her hands on me yet.

now as a big girl who feels so small,
i would let the tears burn my eyes,
for the only pain that is real and could be felt is physical.