You can languish here
in cyberspace's vastness
for all I care
I don't give a ****
if no one visits you or if they do;
if they gawk at you and shake
their heads and sneer and spit at you
or how many clicks and likes you get
and all that analytics and trending-now stuff

Look here, you vain self-centered Poems -
you've taken enough life out of me
coming at unexpected times
like malevolent spirits
hungry ghosts
like piranhas in feeding frenzy
and being so demanding
and wanting me, wanting, wanting
change me, change me
edit, edit, edit
Like some vain teenage ******* her first date
demanding the whole family
dress her for but an evening's glory
(or lifetime shame, who knows?)

I'm done and you're out
and it's your life out there, for all I care
If you have brains you'll get admirers
if you are spiritless, you'll get the flick


*You know, it was easier bringing up children
than bringing you to life and looking after you

I have never been responsible
but my girlfriend said I was
I insisted I was not
and her father hired thugs
to beat me up
Isn't that funny? - the world beats
those who are responsible
and spares those who are not

I was at the interview
and it was the final moments,
I knew

and the Owner Manager
sat back in his seat
and he thought awhile and deep
and he looked me straight in the eye
and he said: "We need someone responsible.
Do you think you are that person?"

"Sure," I replied with confidence
*"In all the previous places where I worked
whenever something went wrong
people always pointed to me
as being the one responsible"

so I got the job anyway
and came in to work
I think it was at 9.30 am
and the Manager called me
into his office
(what a nice guy, I thought,
giving me all the attention)

and he said: "You should have come in
to work at 8.30 am, mister"

"8.30am?"I asked...*"Why, what happened?"

Well, I was in this grand city
and was at this vast public park
the size, they said, of Versailles;
and I sat there having my sandwich
when I noticed these two men -
the one in front digging a hole
and moving on;
and the other behind filling up the hole
and moving up

and so they worked
(this energetic pair) -
one digging a hole and moving on
and the other filling it in and moving up
and round and round in the park
they went
and on and on

I could not stand it any longer
and I asked the men:
"What are you guys doing - digging
and filling? And digging and filling?"

"Oh, tell us about it!" said the men, spitting
*"The guy who puts in the plants
is on sick leave today
But surely you will agree -
the job's got to be done!"

How long do you reckon
it'll take you to read a book
say, of a thousand pages?

Well, it took the intellectual
six months to read, thinking
and considering every page and idea;
the writer took about five months
taking in the aptness and beauty
of each phrase and word;
the teacher took three months,
the librarian two and so did the reviewer -
*but the student,  the student did it in just one night,
just the night before the final exams...

The Math teacher poses the question:
"There are 10 people
9 leave the room
How many people are left?"

And the student replies:
"1 people are left"

                                                         ­            **DOH!

so the Manager called in
a staff member
and he said:
"Tom, take this new guy
round the workplace
and smarten him up"

So Tom took me round
the office and then
we went to see the Secretary
and he said to her:
*"Do check my Department report
My language is perfect -
just  righten up my punctuation"

1
Tom learned a trick
at the playground:
Just say to any adult
"I know your secret"
with a knowing air
and they'll pay you
to keep your mouth shut

2
so Tom said to Dad:
"Dad, I know your secret"
and Dad said: "Oh God!
Son,  don't tell your mom!"
And Dad gave Tom $10

then Tom said to Mom:
"Mom, I know your secret"
and Mom said: "Oh God!
Son, don't tell your Dad!"
And  Mom gave Tom $10

that evening when the priest visited
Tom said to him:
"I know your secret!"
And the priest answered:
"Goodness me, my son -
I never thought your mom would tell!
Whatever you do, my dear son,
don't tell your Dad!"
And the priest gave Tom $100
and promised more

yeah, that's just right
early in the morning
at the self-check out
while I'm waiting my turn
(I have reason to believe you don't see me)
you stop awhile stabbing items
on the screen
to dig your nose
and you have such relief and satisfaction
and then you  continue stabbing
you finish, you are on your way -
thanks a lot, it's now my turn

*You have a nice day, won't you?