5 ft. 8, 100 lbs
caramel skin, hazel eyes
size 6, back length hair
size b breast, size 5 feet
pearly white teeth
100% perfect 0% human

wait can that be right
is that really what I see
yes that's what I see
but it's not me, wouldn't you agree
No? well its true
because this is what I should see
and you should too

5 ft. 6, 190 lbs
walnut colored skin, dark brown eyes
size 9, shoulder length hair
size d breast, size 7 feet
nearly white teeth
100% human, 0% perfect

Now that's about right
that's what I should see
and you to, but you don't
and that's simply because
its not what you want to see

you want me to be
something that I'm not
but  I can't do that
you want me to be her
and her and her
you don't want me to be me

but I'm sorry because
me is all I can be
but I know why that's
not what you see

that's not what you see
because you've never looked
and you've never looked
because you know
that it won't be your reflection looking back
but it'll be me because I'm a mini you
you're my reflection
and my reflection is you

Some may say I'm a nerd
Some may say I'm a geek
Some may say I'm ugly
Some may say I'm a freak
But no matter what they say
and it never fails
They never say I'm me

Some may say I'm loud
Some may say I'm shy
Some may say I'm ghetto
And to be honest
I won't deny

They only call it
like they see it
I am shy, loud, ghetto
a geek, a freak, a nerd
ugly and anything else
that is said

But only because
I constantly live
in the shadows of everyone else
I live my life trying to be
you, you, you, and you
never before trying to be me

I live my life
trying to please everyone
and honestly
It's taking all of my energy

Someone help me
I've fallen and I can't get up
I'm stuck and in pain
what's happening
everything's spinning
and getting darker
Noo!!!
As darkness engulfs me
I notice a strange thumping noise
thump-thump, thump-thump
thump-thump
Where am I?

The world is the people
and the people are the world
but what the people fail to see
is that the world is filled with useless brutality
the world is dying
one by one
all because the people
fail to become one under the sun
all because we won't work together
as a team
a team that could pull off the dream
the dream of our father
when he sent his son to this earth
the dream that all will live eternally
the dream that we will all live in equality
the dream that all will succeed
the dream that is dying
all because of the people
we are the people
and the people are the world
a world that comes together
and makes the dream
a sweet reality

miles upon miles
years after years
lifeloads of drama
tears and more tears

heartbreak
confusion
depression
delusion

I've been there
I've done that
I've looked back
I'm from that

walking forward
falling back
slipping up
falling off track

long nights
wet pillowcases
drooping eyelids
frowning faces

fear
pain
scrapes
stains

I've been there
I've done that
I've looked back
I'm from that

aching backs
swollen feet
table for eight
food for six

crowded sidewalks
noisy streets
swaying rocking chairs
random treats

guns fired
people dying
babies crying
time to hide

gun shots
gun wounds
gun victims
no new news

I've been there
I've done that
I've looked back
I'm from that

I see you
walking down the hall
Columbia blue shirt
khaki pants
my heart pitter-pats
as you walk by
you look my way
and I swoon
you smile
and I smile back
my insides jumping around
like magical jumping beans
I walk away
your eyes on my back
I smile to myself
sighing softly
sparks flying
I finally exist

I walk down the hall
you step out of the shadows
its just you and me
sparks flying
heart beating
excitement overload
I stop just before bumping you
you smile and say hey
I smile and say hi
you say you've noticed me
and that you like what you see
then give me a paper and a pen
can I call you sometimes
to ecstatic for speech
I nod my head
write it down
and hand it back
you walk away
leaving me with
a permanent smile
I think I'm in love

you text me
I respond overjoyed
we converse for a while
you don't text back
what did I do
message after message
no response
message
no response
message
tears
response
my bad I went to sleep
relief overload

you see me in the hall
you smile and I smile back
you walk off
I walk off
10 pounds lighter and in love
I think about you all day
check my phone minute upon minute
second upon second
I'm hooked

days later
after school
we met up
you hug my waist
stare in my eyes
you're so beautiful
I can't breathe
you kiss me
I kiss back
we're in love
you pull away
tugging me with you
I follow readily
we head to your car
lets go for a ride
we get in
you pull off
sigh, so in love

we pull up to a house
you get out
I get out
would you like the tour
sure why not
we go inside
you close the door
you kiss me
I kiss back
you raise my shirt
I object
you say its okay
all girlfriend and boyfriend do it
girlfriend and boyfriend??
you try again
again I object
I love you baby. please, I wont hurt you
all morals fly out the door
you take off my shirt
I take off your shirt
next, my bra
my shoes, pants, underwear
you scrip down
to your birthday suit
your suit, my suit
together in our birthday suits
we ******
we kiss
we ****
I bleed
we ****
we rest
we go again
we rest
we clean up
we leave

days after
message
no response
message
no response
in the halls
I spot you and smile
you look, laugh, and kiss miss lady
square on the lips
I walk on
tears in my eyes
people stare
tears on my cheeks
people laugh
I run
people point
I run faster
What have I done?

Before I knew you
my life was empty and incomplete
there was a hole, a void that seemed to forever go on

the day we met
I felt down and out
nowhere to go
no one to love me
I often cried myself to sleep thinking
I'll never be good enough, pretty enough
smart enough,
those things will never describe me in anyway
but out of nowhere
you lifted my head and said
none of those things were ever good enough to describe me
and good enough they never will be
the day we got together
you made me feel special, wanted, pretty and loved
however, there was still something missing
Then you left me
and I felt as if my whole world died that day
I went back to moping and doubting myself
until I lifted my head
and saw what you saw all along
you could fly the entire time
you just needed the support
although you may feel useless and down
always remember
I believed in you
even when you thought
that you couldn't fly
your wings were always there
you just needed help
finding the wind

I dont know what happened
One minute we were happy
The next minute we were fighting
We used to know each other
Now its like we are total strangers
With us it was like seeing double
Now its like 1+1-2
No one is ever around
If I'm here you're there
If you're here I'm there
And its like there's a force field
Around our hearts
No one gets in and no one gets out
And he isn't in
We don't sleep in the same bed
We don't sleep in the same room
We barely even sleep under the same roof
You're always in someone else 's bed
And I'm always home
You're always on the run
And all I ever run for is the phone
Thinking that maybe it's you on the other end
But it never is
Always going off to talk on the phone
And all I can do is stare
Because I know that I'm not making him happy
Leaving home early and either coming home the next day or not at all
It hurts but what can I say
Other than its a job that I'm failing at
Making you happy used to be a breeze but now its a chore
I can give it another shot
But what if it doesn't work
Then what
I can't bring myself to beg
And I refuse to change who I am for him
I should probably just give up
But what if I give up and he's only doing this to make me jealous
Then what
Why happens then
Maybe I will try
But I don't know him anymore
Its like he's a picture
That I can't grasp the concept of
Is that my problem
Is it because I'm unattractive to him
Or is it because he's fallen out of love
Could it be that he was never in love
No one can possibly fall out of love that quick can they
No...
I don't know
I feel non existent to him
I feel useless and he doesn't even notice
Its as if I am a beautiful bird
And he is the scientist
The one who studies my kind
The one who parades us around to other scientists
The one who makes sure that I won't get away
Simply by clipping
My pretty wings

I am a child
Of this I know
Constantly, repetitively
You remind me of my roles
The words "you aren't grown"
Fly from your lips
Tempting me to quit
Abandon unspoken responsibilities
In a rebellious mood
I'm filled with rage
All this potential I possess
Yet you have me locked in a cage
A bird with clipped wings
Shackles on my feet
As I answer to your kids
Who sometimes call me mommy
Inside of me there lies a cold hearted beast
Who wants to turn her back on this life, be free
But before the beast can reach the door
My conscience steals the key
Along with my dreams
And the hopes of ever leaving