So dark, so very dark
but I hear a voice
and I can feel a breeze
but I don't know where I am
all I know is that I'm alone surrounded by people

I can hear people calling my name
Since I lost my sight nothing is the same

I didn't just lose my vision, I lost so much more
My independence
my job
my confidence
my self-esteem
I will never get to live my childhood dream

It's hard to only see one color for the rest of time
BLACK
no color, just
BLACK

An inability to stay still,
dancing,
a celebration life,
an acceptance of death.
Simultaneously,
connected,
and able to be alone.
Consumed in the notes,
and yourself,
feeling the company of others around.
A life separate from your own,
while also,
learning,
and dealing,
with emotions you could not comprehend,
without.
Healing the wounds,
a goal to strive for,
happiness.

like autumn leaves in october, i fell for you

i fell for you on our first date in april
it was so special, it was nothing more but
laughs and smiles and joy

i fell for you in may when you wished me a happy birthday
with a bouquet of daisies and brought me out for a picnic

i fell for you in june when your aunt june told me
how pants always confused you when you were nine
because there was always two holes and you only have one head

i fell for you in july when i surprised you with 17 reasons
why i love you on your 17th birthday and you kissed my forehead

i fell for you in august when we both went to a carnival
and i found out you were afraid of heights but braved yourself
to take the ride with me for you knew i did too

i fell for you on september, when you told me you had a dream
of losing me and you were so afraid your eyes were bleeding water
and you hugged me so tight

i fell for you in october when i couldn't handle the pain anymore
and turn to it to ease the pain and you came, mending my arms
and said to kiss you to ease the pain next time

i fell for you in november when we bought each other a mismatch christmas sweater for we had promised what to get for one another

i fell for you in december when you didn't answer my calls
and said you were busy at twelve in the morning

i fell for you in january when we didn't see each other for the whole month

i fell for you in february when the boys got the girls a bouquet of flowers
and you got me tears at the back of my eyes because you got a girl a flower too and it wasn't me

*(and in march, when it all ended,
i still fall for you all over again)