•
I’m crying,
Yet I cry for joy,
For happiness.
I am home,
Safe and sound,
Surrounded by love.
I am home.
•

•
I used to think I was untouchable,
I used to think I had God on my side.
I used to think I was a protector,
Turns out I’m a problem.
•

•
I shall sit,
Let you continue on,
I’ll remain deep inside.
I shall watch you fall,
Falling off the mountains of lies,
To which makes you feel better for yourself.
The rising moon is soon,
Bubble and fester Into black nothingness,
Be what is meant.
•

•
I’ve listed all I’ve done wrong,
I apologized for things out of control.
I continue to speak out,
Yet I’m not doing enough.
I’m not loving enough,
I’m not patient enough,
I am nothing.
They were all right,
Till the very end.
•

•
He makes me quit drinking when I have my episodes,
He hides the knives I use on myself.
The words against him are vile,
Yet he returns it with a sweet smile,
And a soft I love you.
Continuously murmuring reassuring thoughts,
Even outside of a bathroom door he sits and waits.
He knows it’s just me,
My anger,
My Ptsd,
The once and final time using.
Letting him come through the door,
He kneels and holds the broken.
Caressing her frazzled short hair,
Wiping the tear stained cheeks.
A smile forms on his lips,
A gentle kiss to my nose,
“Welcome back my love, how do you feel?”
•

•
I’ve blocked them out,
My counselor tells me it’s okay,
Let it out.
Yet I stay silent,
I shall let you fester whatever you make me out.
We pretended,
We lied,
We did this.
But it’s only me at fault,
And I’m the one on the couch,
Talking to a shrink.
•

•
Cheesy, horrid jokes.
Laughing at you and with you.
Brown orbs looking at me with admiration.
My save and grace.
The one to make me erupt in butterflies,
And to lose my cool all in a go.
One who stumbled upon a girl,
A girl who thought wasn’t good enough.
To being my friend, to partner and coworker,
To being the man who was waiting for me.
All along it was you who I stood on standby for,
Completely captivated by a single glance.
Humorously thought as I stare into your eyes,
We were and are love at first sight.
•

•
Gentle circles are made on your back,
A light snore makes it’s way to your lips.
Lips I’ve touched thrice over,
Lips that’ve consumed my being.
Everlasting.
•

I found love three times,
Once with someone who was too late,
Another we held each other accountable,
But this one?
This one is the one meant for me,
One who wouldn’t use my past as a scapegoat.
One that was similar to what I had before abuse,
Thinking that was what I deserve as my ex had said.
I found what I was looking for;
Finally.

Sitting alone at a table.
A pin on your hat to state yourself,
He/Him.
Our eyes had met and I knew,
I would be letting go finally.
I would be freed from horrid grasps,
Trifling ties of abuse of both sides.
He had saved me,
Just by sitting at table 33.

I will always hate you,
Hating for the way it ended,
Hating the communication,
Hating being with you.
So much resentment for one person,
It’s fleeting and futile.
Gone is the sweetness,
For you all there will be is bitterness.

I do things with him I didn’t with you.
My communication is worth more than my screams.
You held me back and held you.
We thought it was love,
When in fact,
It ‘twas an idea.

Everything is now in place,
We are seeing anew,
And we continue on our paths,
Never looking back.

It’s like trying to find that last sliver of glass.
That last bit of what was left has disappeared.
Those last months are gone like the wind.
Never will I remember what we had done.
After this, I go to say yes.
I walk down the aisle.
And I take a hand that isn’t yours.

I’d rather be us,
Than what I’ve already been.

When running to you,
everything is electric,
The sounds,
your touch,
the breeze.
As I run to you,
Without hesitation,
A sense of longing,
Safety,
Security.
While I run to you,
I remember how glad I was,
Happiness,
Loved.
Embraced by your arms of love,
And i remember once again,
How much I love running into you.

Lessons were learned,
Tears were shed.
People come and go,
And we still move forward.
We know what has happened,
Now it’s time to let go.

Rocky Mountain air in my lungs,
The air feels clean.
A graceful breeze,
Childhood memories floating amongst the leaves
Your hand is in mine,
A peaceful smile on my lips.
I am home with the one I love,
At least one of my loves will share what I know.

My emotions. To you are simple,
Don’t get to attached.
Keep it short.
Always look away.
Yet I’m still writing to you,
So amazed at your thought process.
You guys are alive,
You are alive

I’m broken
I’m in the wrong
Yet I’m the best thing
Till I’m not
Till you leave me alone,
By myself in a dark ball.
Screaming and kkicking for you to save me.
You don’t have to save me now.
You got what you wanted and I.
I’ll be another trainer for the perfect man.

My walls are building,
My esteem weak with need.
Hurt and devastated,
I saw differently.
Sure as to what was told,
Another was seen.
Two minds of one body.
As that said,
We were to be corrupt.
Twisted in a euphoric thoughts of love,
Thoughts that we’d be okay.
Yet it wasn’t enough.

You ask me my feelings,
You fix your mistakes.
I am truly your Queen,
As you are my King.

Tragic
Suspenseful
Lost

And I write.
To the ones who feel

A soft glance so pure,
Full of adoration.
I question this look,
For it was lost and yet found once more.
In your orbs,
I see the turmoil you face,
Yet you seek comfort in my embrace.
Full of mystery you are,
And I find myself at peace.

Funny how a whole year of being with one person
Makes them a stranger.

The screaming and yelling is all I see when I close my eyes.
The whines from Rylie as you strangled her.
Your assumptions no matter how many tears ran down my face trying to tell you “You’re wrong.”
Frustration.
There goes the Red Bull can to the wall.
Blankets are thrown off me.
Phone hits the wall twice and shatters.

We’re back at your parents.
Same thing.
You’re punching the walls as you throw things.

You were my Hercules.
You gave me my soul again,
Yet reconfigured.
My love for you was/is everlasting.
You were the gasoline I wanted,
Needed,
Dousing my fire with what we called love.
I miss you some days,
I crave you most days.
Yet everyday I wish I never met you.

Goodbyes have never been easy.
They are hard and hurtful.
The truth of reality.
Our bond was beautifully dangerous,
A fiery inferno lost in love.
Hoping for the best during the worst.
That is all gone and for this I’m glad,
We can both be true to our own.
Finally walking in our pace.

Waking up I feel secure,
An arm over my waist.
A warm breath covers my neck.
I move and I’m held closer.
Protected.
Wiggling to turn towards you,
I see peace and tranquillity.
No worry line in sight.
I kiss your nose,
Your cheek,
And then your lips.
You move to my lips,
A soft exhale escapes your lips.
“Good Morning My Love.”

It’s what we all want.
A desire for one soul.
A peace finally found.
Comfort in his arms,
My ear pressed against his chest.
The rhythmic beating of one’s heart.
Love and harmony.
Perfect balance,
Even when days are long.
-Mrs. Ramirez-Nuñez
At last.

Longing for a home.
Trapped in desire.
Is this what I wished?

Pure, the light at the end.
A soul so bright.
Yet alone and afraid,
You are not what he says.
Good is in you,
Unlock it all,
Reveal us to you.
Be free,
Because you my dear,
Are free.

I drink because,
You’re still around.
The both of you.
The three of you now.
Endless cycles with one.
Another dead.
The third who’s righteous.
Corpse, betrayer, a finder.
This life.
Drink.

Missing you is like a disease,
Sickened at the thought of you gone.
I am weak to you,
No one compares to you.

You made me complete,
You held my hand once more,
Put hands on my body like nothing before.
Bliss.
Yet you are now gone
There’s nothing left for us now.
I got lost again..
defeated.

It’s what I deserve.
The hurt, false words,
Every word.
Thus my punishment,
My karma.
Forever lost now that I did what I did,
Missing and wishing.
Yet I am the burden,
No matter what I do and try.
I am the wrong.
Always.

Here you stand.
With the grace of the devil,
You put your arms around.
Peace yet vulnerability,
Wrapping your hands around my heart.
You keep me sane yet insane,
I cry and you come to my aid.
Truly mesmerized by your darkness,
Exploding into a tremendous universe.
Just for two.

I’ve tried being the good and bad guy,
My open heart ready to face anything my way.
My safety net is out so it’s okay to fall.
That is till you cut my nets,
Ripping my beautiful heart into nothing.
Left with nothing but hurt and betrayal.

Torn to piece by vicious intent,
Regardless of the pleas being said,
The thoughts attacking her brain.
She wanted what’s best,
What is best for you is for?
Silence.

My happiness is decided on those around,
The ones I choose to stay in my life.
Containing all of my being,
Crazed thoughts run through,
It gets hard to breath.
And relaxed.

Three people.
You him and I.
We met up in Cruces,
It was grand.
We all got a long,
Shots are fired and there you are on the floor.
There is a pool of red and i,
I am kneeling to you and crying.
He pulls me off and we leave you.
I awaken and tears are down my cheeks,
One thought comes to mind.
“Please be okay.”

You are like a drug,
Consuming my well being.
Taking advantage the only way you know you can.
Yet here I sit wishing for things to be different,
To be someone else to you.
We cannot go back to how it was,
This is what acceptance is for me.
To live freely yet stably,
Without you on my side.