Leave your sweater here
So I can breathe you in
A scent that whispers you're near
Even when you're gone.

Sometimes
I miss the voice I listened to for years
The coziness of a bed with you as my blanket
And the sweet and savory meals you made
Moments that tasted like home.

Sometimes
I think about you
How happy you seem now
And how much I regret the life you chose
So empty, so suffocating
I thought my presence might have meant something
That maybe, just maybe
You needed someone
Someone like me.

Sometimes
What I feel now
What I do now
Everything about you
No longer matters
A waste of my time
And all I want to do
Is to escape from all this confusion.

Sometimes
I realize
All these things are temporary
Wounds will heal
The ache will fade
And one day
I’ll feel love without your shadow.

I close my eyes
For minutes
Or perhaps hours
Lost in an ocean of questions
Too many

Is it okay to feel joy
Or even more
While others cannot?
Is it okay to share my happiness
When others struggle just to live?
Is it okay to ignore the sorrow around me
Just for a moment
To hold on to this fleeting smile
Because I don’t know how long it will last?

I know I deserve to be happy.
I know I deserve to hold it close
To make it linger
But don’t they deserve it too?
Don’t they?

And yet
I’m sorry
In this moment
I need to be selfish.
No.
I have to be selfish.
To feel alive.
To survive.

That’s okay, right?

The feeling of love
The ache of longing
I hold them now
In silence, in peace
As I once dreamed long ago.

No fear of losing
No dread of disappointment
Yet these feelings
They no longer matter
They change nothing.

One day
Perhaps, they’ll destroy me
But until then
They should go.
Very soon.

How lucky they are
To call you their friend
To stand close like a shadow
Or drift far like a star
And never fear the distance.

To pour words like rain on thirsty ground
To share as if time were endless
But I couldn’t
Like a bird slipping from open hands
I lost a friend.

For so long
I thought you were my everything
I thought we belonged to each other.

For so long
I kept hoping you might change
Believing you’d try to be better for me
But you never did.
You never would.

I’ll never forget
How your arms opened wide
Promising love, safety, and comfort
How you brought happiness
Hating to see me sad.
And I’ll also never forget
How you hurt me
Tears streaming endlessly
Leaving me wondering why
I was never enough for you.

And now
The feeling has come
I don't want you anymore.

I didn't stop loving you
But I started to loving myself more
I finally see how much I deserved
To be happy
To be truly loved
To be chosen without hesitation
By someone
Who would never dream of bringing me pain.

I did something foolish tonight
Opened the archives of a love long gone
Just to make sure the pain had faded
Piece by piece
But it turns out
My body burns
A wildfire of memory and regret
It wasn’t his promises
His sweetness
Or his love that broke me
But myself
For every word I wrote there

How many times did I tell him
I hated the pain he left in me?
How many times did I convince myself
And try to convince him
That this time would be different?
That I could be enough
To anchor his wandering heart?

I fought so hard
To know what he wanted from me,
To stop him from breaking both of us,
To be the best girl he’d ever known.
So he’d never seek the 20%
I didn’t have
Because I gave him 100%.

But everything I’ve done feels useless
All of that effort
Paid with pain
And I destroyed myself.

The face I remember.
The laugh I long to hear again.
The smile that once mirrored my own.
And the gentle voice that always filled my nights.
You look the same as the day we met months ago.

But now,
You never call my name.
Our skin has never touched.
Your gaze, once deep,
Has grown shallow.
You look so different from the day we met months ago.

I saw the change before we met,
A wall standing tall between us.
But my heart, stubborn and blind,
Denied the truth, clinging to hope
That nothing had shifted.

And today, it is my heart that pays the price

No one understands

It's not about moving on
I hate to letting someone go
It's not about finding someone better
I want someone to be better for me
It's not about losing the routine
I hate the emptiness that overtakes my heart

No one understands
Not even me

I don’t understand why loving means hurting myself
I don’t understand why someone choose to hurt others
I don’t understand why people can’t change

In the end
I realize I understand nothing

How does it feel now?
To hear your laughter echo back,
To see the spark when you tease me,
To touch the mole on your nose,
To breathe in your untouched scent,
When our arms find their home around each other.

How does it feel now?
To taste your sweet, sour, and salty creations,
To hear the name you gave me, my love,
To watch movies side by side,
To feel the world spin, tipsy from soju and you,
To share stories,
Letting pillow talk cradle the close of day.

Ah, i have no more words to say
Than this
I miss you.

After all the words you’ve spoken,
after all the poems you’ve written,
I might already know how this story gonna ends.

For now,
let me borrow your time to see you again,
to feel your touch linger once more,
to ache for the echo of us,
to love you a little longer,
until the clock runs out.

When my heart whispers, enough,
when my mind demands me to leave,
when my body wearies from the weight of pain,
I’ll let you go.

And in stepping forward,
I’ll prove I’ve truly let you fade.

God, if You are there
answer me, I beg You.
Why me?
I am drowning in feelings,
a storm of dark emotions,
they churn in my chest,
make me sick.

I can't even close my eyes,
night is a cruel witness.
Food lies still, untouched,
its journey incomplete.
Smiles have become strangers
to my weary face.

When these feelings flood my soul,
There is no one to listen,
no arms to hold me,
no voice to say, “I’m here for you.”
no whisper to promise,
“Everything will be alright.”

Why me?
Why do You leave me alone?
Why must I bear this weight alone
while others find their solace,
their ‘one-hour person’?

I can't.
I'm so tired.
Why am I still here?
What do You want from me?
If you said that I have an unfinished task,
a purpose waiting in the shadows,
tell me now.
I’ll do it right now, I swear
if it means release.

As a fragile being,
forgive me this weakness.
I’m shattered
and so ******* done.

The words hovered on the edge of my tongue,
Yet my thumbs whispered a gentler truth.

My soul reached the same.
The warmth that hung heavy in the air,
A tender brush, soft as whispers on my skin,
A rhythm that our body carved,
A melody only we could hear.

But we both know
This rope between us
May never unwind.
So I buried the truth beneath my breath.
And found that dishonesty bore sweet fruit.
I am saved.
No
We are saved.

Every time I touch the void
Do you feel a tremble, a stir?
Every time I paint it with a whisper of color
Do you see a shift within?
If not, at least I've tried.
Perhaps I’m not the one you seek.

We’re tangled in contradictions.
Yesterday, we talked about a farewell,
About everything we might want in the future, each for ourselves.
Shared stories like we used to, as if there were no tomorrow.
Laughed together for the sake of our egos.
Stared, touched, and sent love, knowing it was the last time.

Now, the messages keep coming, unbroken,
And you’ve become my favorite notification I wait for.
We share everything we did today or yesterday,
Updates as usual, to keep the conversation alive.
We read each other’s poem(s),
Savoring and appreciating them,
As if we can’t let go,
As if the feeling is still there, so strong,
As if we’ve found our perfect place in each other’s arms,
And as if this is what we truly need in the end.

We’re still here, sharing the same space, though wearing different masks.
In this space, tangled between us,
I find comfort.

My eyes caught a lover on instagram.
Sweet, I said.
Holding each other’s hands,
Laughing to unfunny jokes,
Taking lots of romantic picture to keep,
Beautiful
As we used to be.

I pray to God,
So he makes her happily ever after,
So he understands how fragile her heart is,
So he doesn’t leave her alone at their own home,
Oh God, I hope she gets everything I don’t.

You held my hand with both of your hands,
as if you were telling me to trust every process we’ve been through.
You hugged me tight,
as if you were asking me to stay.
If the world asks for it, then I would nod as an answer.
With a smile on my face.

But, I know.
Our hands touched gently,
as a reminder that this is all over.
The hug we shared,
as a reminder that this is (maybe) our last goodbye.
The world asks for it.
It is what it is.

We made a deal, the world hasn’t ended yet.
Then I'll be happy about it.

The face I still remember vividly.
The memories replayed every second.
The messages I never deleted,
I read them every night.
The voice that seemed around me.
And the laughter that is always contagious.

I want to keep it longer.
Hey, I ache for you.

My heart beats faster than usual.
My hands trembled, stringing word after word.
My body feels flushed,
It's like I'm on fire.

I can't control all those things,
Because now I'm all alone,
With many wounds and memories,
But life must go on,
I have to let you go,
And it's time to press the restart button.