coincidence?
synchronicity?
or
correspondence
of the soul?
triple 4s
catch my sight,
everywhere I go.
providence?
abundance?
alignment
of dimensions?
444              4,4,4
             4
4:44      4
              4
perhaps
delusion ,
happenstance..
or
divine
intervention.

.



I swear there's no desperation ,
~  I'm inoculated with self love.
an amelioration in self appreciation ,
I've taught myself the how.



yet the velvet core in my heart ~
yearns to be caressed
& engulfed in warmth ,
~  feeling summery Hawaii  ~
with no snare or snag or con.



for I give the world ,
all my tender zeal ,
and unsolicited adoration  -


    which backfires, 9 out of 10 ,
     Though I never seek, reciprocation.

But, there exists...

                      a glint

                             a tickle

of   AbSoLutE  craving

                                    a spec

                                        a freckle

of great raging longing

for all the worlds attention

to fill my chalice of a soul

-  to the brim

~  with affection.

.   .
" i want to be propelled into the nebula  .   * ' '   ,
to the transcendental lanscape of a billion stars
~ cumulonimbus cloud of cosmic oblivion "
* .             '
  '    * .
.   '
  

sometimes you have to free yourself of thought,
the scrutiny, self-analysis

there's simply nothing left to realize or unravel
in your vast mind's premises

How can you see the beauty of the world?
with your eyes rolled backwards in it's sockets,

a burning stare into your soul,
both hands stuffed in empty pockets.

Look around, gaze anywhere, feel the ground & sniff the air
experience the new, try all that's there

live to live life without a care

To be an anonymous cryptic thing
imperceivable being with invisible skin
to be unseen - but this time it's glory
with no need to share an idle story.
Dancing on the striped  pedestrian crossing.
Creeping up on an oblivious lakeside gosling.
Running maniacally through time square.
Not having to subdue the lunacies I wear.
Sneaking ticket-less into the theatres
Avoiding lifes'  void of norms, too meagre.
The imprisonment in being seen
- at the expense of living like a libertine.

My urge to become a 70s serial killer
& sadistically stab strangers
with a butcher's knife
is overwhelming