It sounds ridiculous but only I feel productive when I'm doing nothing.
Sitting back, just relaxing.
Popping blue beans, burning bowls of green.
And just thinking.
Daydreaming about how things could have been.
How things could still be.
But how things will probably be.
Just close your eyes and let music be your guide.

Entire lives constructed and played out
in grand fashion. A world so detailed
I would rather get lost,
And never come back to this travesty of a society,
so raw and primal.
so human.
My world is so beautiful and yet so depressing
because it's what ours could be, but never will become.
Anything to distract me from this.
The 24 year old burnout grinding through school because there aren't many options left.
So where will I'll be in 5 years?
I wont.

do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

I hate that I can't be mad at you
Here's to all the ways I bled for you
I can't stop thinking about you
I can't stop caring about you
I have been crying all week about you
Everyone has been asking me why but I can't say its because of you
I just wish I knew how to be happy with you
I just wish I could be with you
I don't need much from you
I miss the feeling of being wanted by you
The only one I want to talk to is you
My heart screams and storms for you
I wanted to know every part of you
I just want to find a way to still be close to you
In some way that can feel certain to you
Because I can't be mad at you
I hope in some strange way you still love me and I still love you