It's five a.m. I am dawn over, yet again..

I am the water I drink, the food I eat, the air I breathe, the sleep I sleep, the music I hear, the people I see, the places I go, the content I read, the player in my games, the epitome of lame, the disorder I blame, the weeping I wax & wane;
Chaos in a flame

I am the cigarettes I smoke brand name, unruly & untamed, the pride that I coincide with not having shame in who I am, the crazy in my eyes, my daughter's surprise, my fear's accomplice, my mother's only child;
What's worse, I'm wild

My father's little girl, my hair when I twist, & decide to give it a curl, I am five feet, seven inches short, I am a case to dispute, I do mind trivial pursuit, I am the upchuck I hurled, when I found myself among this world, I am dawned before sunset, I am still susceptible to surprise, I have blue/green eyes, I still can't see why god loves ugly, I am critique in concrete, on this couch I have a seat, three cats;
All lying around above below or beside me

I am beside myself, I need mental health, I scream with my mouth, still no one hears me out, I am down & about it, I gave up long ago, I am wishy washy windy, I cry tears laden with doubt, I too often have something that I worry about, I have been spread too thin;
I am disheartened on a whim

I am a cracked ***, I am a blossom out of stock, I am a non smoking ****, I don't get blown away like the leaves, I have skin that needs to breathe, I left my body because it's a pet peeve, I shed hair in long strands;
I am overthinking needing a weeve

I am punch drunk, I need sleep like I never slept, my pillows head away, I swept them up, put them down for a rainy day, yes I am a classifiable clown, I make path my own way, If only the right hook is in town, I am able to smile at my frown;

B E C A U S E   I   L O V E   T H E E   D E E P   D O W N

I'll Never Stop Loving You

I feel this hurt thats deep inside
That I hide so others wont see
I say words pretending that I dont care
When I know you're the world to me

I listen to others as they call you names
And I try to see their point of view
Still somehow I know deep in my heart
I'll never stop loving you

It was a promise to God to forever be
But now I walk this path alone
I fill the void and loneliness
With others who come and go

Time will heal is what they say
And I must find that someone new
I can heal my heart and let go of the pain
But I'll never stop loving you

*Carl Joseph Roberts

Bombers & bloggers
Tragedy is triumphant 
Traffic gathers in a tweaked intersection divide
Wreaking of those fuming with exhaustion  
Speed, cause you prefer the highway

Political in place of partial
The news carries dismay
Where is such trouble in this world you say?

Posing proposing, regulating;
Marijuana laws are changing
Complaining of taxing & weighing

Football, do you recalls, & puppy dogs,
Amber alerts & nostalgia where it hurts
Once again the news contright  
Cut short cause it draaaags
Ruthless the truth is;
Everywhere you go, there the news is
You can't lose it, tied around your neck the noose is

Bed bugs It has;
Talking of spread shoots, ***** mags
This celebrity, the new 'fad', & that old hag

Throw up on the rag;

Forget it

I'm breathing...
I'm breathing...

Sitting there,
I try to convince myself I'm breathing.

I'm breathing,
I'm alright...
I'm alright,
Am I not?

Slowly,
My breath diminishes,
They die out...

Slowly,
My tears cry...
My feelings overflow.

Smothered

It's a feeling that can't be explained.
It feels like you're Buried,
Buried beyond Deep,
And yet...
Your physical being is still there...
Trembling*
But it's beyond that.

It's pressure within your Mind,
Pressure within your Emotions
Pressure within your Voice....
You Tremble from that Pressure
But it's beyond that.

It Silences you.
It Breaks you.
It Burdens you.
You Lose.
You Start to Die
And then you Die.
But it's beyond that...
Because it Kills you.

*But it's beyond that...
Way beyond that...