For a heart that shines......
                                          .........blinds you with its love

Trapped in a helium glow of iridescent isolation, in the terrifying grasp of convalescent irritation.
Nevertheless, it's the complex grin of a mechanical computation, not some abstract will of a medical complication, but the laborious equations of a most difficult accusation.
Now you can swim through a black hole, or ride a surfboard on a supernova, but a white dwarf star will slow down the ball speed of Anna Kournikova.
In an instant the universe could end, but it would be so fast we would not see until it came back again.
You think your real?
The sands of an hourglass steal the time you say, but you're the one that plays, no.
That expanded feeling you get, when you realize the universe as gotten larger...or made you smaller...in an attempt to understand its own creation, experiment after experiment.
One never thinks to understand their world until it is crushing down upon them, baring teeth, going for the ****; only then, is understanding important.
A trillion suns shine in a billion solar systems in a million galaxies and then some, but a single kiss from her lips, could break apart Calypso.
Within the dark matter, memories and patience lost, we have never diminished our flame of will.
Savage endings frayed in the  yesterday dust....memories twice scorned.

In winters rarest bitter
Before the failing of the light
We search for significance
Far sweeter than pleasure
Yet, never frostbitten
By the freezing of the night
We hunt until daybreak
Ever deeper for the treasure
I cannot show you the foreboded corridor
But I assure you I have walked it before
On a jagged line between sanest thoughts
For a way out of madness is often fought
One's reality is a tether binding
Relatively fixed into a position
Much like a staircase winding
Only its twisted to fit a new disposition

(Am extremely large man standing at a sorely inadequate podium announces, in a softened loud auctioneer voice)

"Love to the highest bidder, a heart lies on the block. Who dares to start the bidding? Drift away from merely talk."

"Ahhh…however, just a little twist"

"Legal tender is no good here, put away your cash. Your credit matters not, just put down the stash. You had better have your merit, that’s the only way you're buyin' here. I hope you understand it."

(Flustered woman turns to leave, muttering, "Some auction!")

The large man continues…

"True, this may seem like an auction of the most material nature. But I assure you ma'am, You have every reason to stay here. Cause this is the infamous, No Gut Shot Block, where it's not so much about what you have, more to prove what have you got."

A woman from the crowd yells, "But I got all this money?"

"You can pay your way in other auctions, but not the one on this day. Yet I see your bid of impatience and that’s the lowest offer today. Who will be the next to place a bid, who will be the next one to call, which one of you is willing, to show this heart here one of your flaws."

"It's still an easy game…highest bidder takes the heart, but twist of this little game, is that to win is to completely fall apart…."  



…..A man walks by a door and hears women sobbing, and as he passes through a door he hears a women say, "Gentlemen, the bidding will begin shortly"…..

My boyfriend used to take me to Pizza ****
(as we always called it)
after every home basketball game.
We'd fill up on bread sticks,
box the leftover slices,
just so they could sit in the back seat
of his green Chevy jeep
while we made out in the parking lot
with Eric Church's new CD on the stereo.

I told everyone the bruises on my thighs
were just an accident,
when really he pushed me
into the tires
after he had a few or dozen beers
at the party down Bear Run.
He never did like being told
what he shouldn't do.

We'd lay down the seats
and sleep on sweatshirts
with a cooler lid for a pillow
until 10a.m. on a Sunday,
an hour late for mass.
Silently we'd ride
until we'd reach the power plant.
He'd cough and I'd sigh,
quietly singing until we'd reach my driveway.
He never did kiss me
whenever he'd drop me off.

I came back spring break
the following year.
The jeep in his yard with a for sale sign
propped against the hood
and his cell number
written in blue window chalk
just above the windshield wipers.
I saw his little sister
peek behind the curtain
when I knocked on the door,
but no one came to answer.
So I lit a cigarette and drove home
listening to "Springsteen."

nothing is wrong with dreaming.
i'm just not much of a dreamer.
you don't dream?
i don't see why i should set myself up for failure.
you think i'll fail you?
when has life ever been easy for us..
there's endless possibilities when you go and reach out*
one of us has to believe in the impossible.
the possible impossible

And just like that I'm reminded why you are the love of my life. The earth never stops spinning on its tilted axis.  I think the axis is tilted too much for me to keep my balance.  But you never let me fall.  Maybe I'm too cynical to believe in anything anymore, but somehow you've got me wanting to.

You were everywhere.
You were in the books I read,
You were in the songs I listened,
You were in the poems I wrote,
And you were even with me—
in my head, in my veins.
Everywhere I go,
You’re with me.
It seems impossible,
To even breathe without you.
I need you like I need cigarette at 3am.
I need you like I need coffee at 5am.
And it’s like my heart bleeding,
Knowing you don’t need me.
I'm all empty,
left bleeding by you,
who swore to love me.
But for you, I’ll bleed myself *dry.

It’s the place we live
A place of treachery
A place of trembling hope
And sorrow

A place where centuries of salty tears
Have cried the oceans high
Where the pines, the redwoods, and the oaks
Have fled high to the skies—learning from their earthly mistakes

I want to know it all
But I know I never will
And I want to feel strong
But a feeble human existence can never fulfill

And when the thorn ******
That’s when I’ll feel pain
But to the pain I feel when I lose you
Every few months-it is nothing

You were here on the first day
And we know-- and He knows
You wont be here for the last
But I hope you will be, for the talks in between

We don’t really talk about it
Instead we talk to talk intelligently
And I like that
And you like that

And that is why we’re the same
I wonder when I’ll have faith
Perhaps, when you have faith
Have faith in me and have trust in my words

Sorrys spread themselves wide—too wide
With every rise of the sun and turn of the tide
Despite the try, despite a determination of independence
They are taken

I worry I lack some sympathy
For I did not cry the day I heard
But you do not cry on the days you die
And you die for quite a few of them

Do you know who knows?
Or do you not care
Does it matter?
For me, it does, and you know, and he knows, and she knows

I scoffed the day I heard you believed
I laughed that I figured you a man of reason
You said you could be both
I still scoff

When I shall count the stars
When I shall breathe evenly
When I shall free the butterflies from the pits of me
That’s when I shall—when I shall free you of the blame

I know you deny it
And you may right not deserve it
But when I’ve read of all the little live things
We too, will be alive

Do you count your lucky stars
Or do you rest assured
I call the arrogance a bluff
I call it today—for tomorrow

The blanket of grey
Which comforts me so nicely
Will always remain a compliment
A compliment, remembered, and not deserved

It’s a humbling experience to realize
Not one idea you will think
Will ever be
Original

And it’s a disappointment to realize
Some ideas
Ideas of others
You will never even think

In that I call injustice
But no one will make it just
And I will rest aside
Quiet… less than robust

My existence is frightening
So is yours
So is his, so is hers
Though arrogance makes for a fantastic façade

And we’re all incredibly concerned
That today will be lost before we have achieved something--anything
Yet too distracted by tomorrow
We fulfill the prophecy, and yes, we lose today

Pride is a thing to tussle with
I want to be proud, but more so, I want you to be proud
Of me
We’ve been told to not be so proud

To be humble and oh so very honest
Though those before me have proved, time, time again
That to be anyone and to get anywhere,
Humility just won’t do

And that’s the juxtaposition I live
The contradiction I’ll never escape
How to make it all of worth
While upholding a worth of self

Your mood changes with the moon
And I try not to mind
For I know that mine
Is as steady as the tides—not very