i grab my brush,
styling my hair,

"you have to look your best darling."

my hands shake as i dust
the porcelain powder over my nose,

"you have to be well groomed,"

as steady as i can,
i line my lips with amber red, shade 204.

but my hand slips,
and the red mark in on my cheek.

'why wont you take care of yourself!? its as if you dont care!"

line my lips.
brush my hair.
apply mascara.

no mistakes.
"you have to look your best."

each day i put on my mask,
i was taught to do so young.

as long as i look good,
what else matters..
right?

I am lost,
I search and yet still gone.
Hours past and still not found.
Lost some weight but fats easy found.
Still no compliments and still ugly is still there.
I am lost and I need to be found.
I hope and I write for someone.
Still alone and still alive.
I am lost like a small pebble in the sea.
Not claimed or I have no where to be,
Not even anyone to see.

I turned the lights off, fell in to the dark. Realized the light and now I'm stressing it. If only people knew, then what would has she done or do. I open my eyes yet they have drowned. I wink at fear, then knock it to the ground. I'm beginning to smile, took a lot but now if only it were often. Loveyou and that won't ever change.